Whispers of Appreciation

To commemorate the ‘One-Week-Anniversary’ of my sad attempt to subterfuge Cambridge, I have written a personalized blog-ticle to those that in one way or another supported me through it. So scroll down to see if you made the cut!

Dearest…

Aveena :
Sorry dear, kicked my arse instead of his. Made a complete fool of myself. Instead of being ‘all-intelligent’ ended up feeling all prim and proper. But, all is well, life shall go on. Had tremendous fun during our ‘two-hour’ talk over the phone. I’m most probably the only one to actually reap the rewards of your upgraded philosophy – “Everybody needs to bitch about somebody every day sometimes”….

Padmini :
Touched by your immense faith in me and the Lord. You were certainly the only one that included me in her prayers. It calmed me, in ways I can’t quite account for. Blessed to know someone like you – muaks!!

Alyssa :
Hrmmm, yah. You’re lucky I didn’t show up on Friday. Would have been the cause of an epidemic – ‘The Eardrum Popping Voice’. Mine is still intact though. It had to single-handedly listen to my melodious voice, just to calm my fatigued nerves. Notice the ‘unity’ of my sensory faculties?

Deena :
Your hug was hesitant at first. But, from cheek-to-cheek, it was the warmest hug I ever had. Thanks a bunch!

Luke :

My compatriot in distress…

Luke-y the Looney,
The tables are turned perhaps. It’s you who has to fork up a meal at TGI Friday’s [pause] Thanks! Thinking back, I must have looked like a poor-lost-pup, for you offered a hug, which I regrettably declined (partly because daddy was lurking around the corner =) ) . You were unreasonably quick to realize my tease-able nature and exploited it mercilessly, to the extent of shifting my focus. Thank heavens it lasted only a moment ( was that your strategy by the way? ). “Information is the Key to Power”. No wonder you didn’t hunt me down to ask about my Mock Interview. You did all your homework, even as far as knowing my performance in it, direct from its source..[despicable, despicable ]. Heard of privacy, Luke? You are quite expensive, as evident in your blog. You raised your demands. There’s a remote possibility I’ll comply to them ( don’t avoid the fact you are hoping you’ll never get your starbucks coffee). As to whether Sebastian from ‘Little Mermaid’ is a crab or a lobster or even a prawn, I don’t give 2 cents!

But, to sum it all of:
1)Yes, we should have coffee together sometime.
2)Agree that Capricornians are very competitive in nature and make their allies their nemesis, in the end, having the whole jumble in a heap of confusion.
3)DO NOT agree that if you were Zijian, you would give me a hug…simply because…..oh…..incapable .....oh gosh!....to simply put it…..Unlikely.
4)You better start saving for an extravagant meal for me.
5)I’m proud and will brazenly attest to my ‘dirty-mindedness’.
6)No, did not have an entirely joyous time in the interview room.
7)Yes, you bug me more than I bug you, despite many attempts (very ashamed of this failure)
8)Yes, would very much like to install you as my punching bag – to vent out Anger.
9)Thank you for the …positive energy on my Big Day. It helped!

Ms. Kana:
Apart from being the weirdest student in class, you’re not the only one who is wondering why Cambridge invited me for an interview. Your plans to send them a picture of me standing on a chair placed strategically at KDU’s entrance as a result of me forgetting my notes will not be necessary. I guess it’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’. Thank you for the support and trust.

Mr. Warren:
Yes, conducted a FBI search. The result of which revealed a stocky, gruff looking middle age man. It helped – at least I knew who I was going to act ‘all-intelligent’ to. Other than that, I proved to be a total bimbo…oh..how wasted.

Mr. Andrew :
Taking a shot isn’t the problem. My gun is brand new. It hasn’t even gone through the quality check yet. Worse, the factory wasn’t ‘zero-defect’ certified. Missed the bulls eye. Argggg!!

Zijian:
A curt ‘No’ at 6.30 a.m is quite an unpleasant way to begin a new day, an important one at that, don’t you think so? Nevertheless, I think I would do better in a masquerade than ‘regurgitating’ in the library. Thanks for the pat on the back!

Aleeysa, Amrit, Angie, Amir :
All those ‘Complete Me’ from Jerry Maguire, didn’t really help. But what matters most is your apparent concern and pity for a demented soul. Thanks you guys. Muaks.


IF in any case, I forgot to mention others, please accept my apologies. I have problems in remembering things…

Sex and the City and Me

Saw “Sex And The City” a handful of times only, and I absolutely regret that it isn't in my staple diet list. It’s one show where everything and anything is in reverted logic.

I mean, common, they probably have the most kicking middle ages. In their late thirties and yet are still in the same league as cheerleaders half their age. Where else can you find women so utterly insane yet lovable? 20 years from now, most of us will be plagued with sagging bottoms, overly ripe breast, orange skinned thighs, and balloon like tummies. These gals, on the other hand, are still alive and marketable: to the extent of pretending to be the person on a membership card – just to gain entry in an oh-so-hot-pool where the heavenly congregate.

I can never clear this muddle: Do television shows oversimplify or over dramatize life?

See, one of the girls was having a similar predicament to many of us…

“Now, how would I know that…?.....” [if the guy liked her more instead of the cheerleader]

“Would things be clear if I did this…?...”

and he moved in, closer and then, tantalizingly kissed her. She moaned all the way through. (Don’t see why she wouldn’t.)

Now, if only things were as simple as that!

I can’t help but think that unlike these ladies who are living with Pentium 4 Processors, we (at an age where things are suppose to be cuckoo) are still picking daisies and plucking petal after petal, muttering helplessly “ He/She loves me, He/She loves me not.” Oh, woe betide us...

No doubt the next episode will see the both of them ruffling blankets and sheets, but why are we still in the dark-ages when computer chips are experiencing exponential growth?

These foursome are living in a bubble, painting a rather unreal “New York – where everything is possible”. They love their men, flaunt their cleavages, don’t hesitate in blowing and persist that 20 years down the road, the right guy could be their high-school sweetheart after all.

Maybe love is far simpler when people talked less and kissed more…

Pointlessness

Sign In

One week has passed and nothing of great importance has occurred – prompting me to write an article of similar insignificance.

Nothing enlightening, nothing inspiring, nothing emotionally disturbing.

So I shall delude everybody into thinking that at least, I have been productive. (honestly, I don’t even believe this one bit, while typing this, mind you )

What am I too say? Pressure is escalating. Even sleeping tires me. I doesn’t help either that when I wake up, it’s not the wonderful breeze of the morning that greets me but the hurtful proliferation of pimples all over my darn face.

If productivity is a measurement of a life, I would be at the lowest rung in the ladder. Just waiting to be relegated – where? – hell…

Oh I should stop this shit like mutterings…..what am I doing?

Without point or purpose…

Hey ! My first absolutely, honest-to-goodness- pointless blog !

Oh I have failed my readers. Then again, unless something HAPPENS to me, I can’t be expected to entertain the masses…….

Sign out…

Of Balls and Shorts

“Men in their 20s play football, Men in their 30s play baseball while Men in their 40s play golf. Notice that the Balls shrink with age…”

Friday found me walking resolutely to the Auditorium to watch – A BasketBall match. One can deduce the players were – quite young. Expecting a big crowd, it would be easier to remain inconspicuous. Stood in horror to find the only sound emitting out of that place was the friction of rubber against the floor and the many fumings of the human body.

“Remain calm. Look for familiar quarters.”
And they were there, towards the left side of the hall. Not entirely familiar, but it will sure do, since we would be cheering for the same team.

Sweat was prevalent and my nostrils whiffed in a culmination of Odour – acrid, putrid, salty vapours emancipating from pores. Alright – remain cool, like you’re used to it – In The Name of Sports. Before Pessimist surfaced, I bettered it by finding an empty chair and a nervous chatting mate. Anxiety, precipitated out, while I looked straight ahead, to spare him the shame of it all.

Mundane talk: to pass the time. He excused himself, taking Anxiety with him as his team gathered for Warm-Up prior to their game. I smiled to myself, picking up fickle-minded Science citing “Warming-Up before exercising does not necessarily reduce the risk of contracting injury”.

“Sir! I’ll cheer for you.”
“You got 3 minutes for that: compulsory quota for lecturers. Just going to do it….this time tomorrow, I’ll be in Penang”.

Smiling, I insisted he enjoyed himself. Anxious, he gave me a reproaching smile as he was called for Warm-Up. I giggled in response, and attracted Attention (she must be crazy, laughing by herself). Remain Invisible!

Shorts: Anxious was so cute in them. Monday – laughter Goosebumps on flesh as I anticipated my Physics lecturer smashing ShuttleCocks and sporting shorts. (He whooped his opponent’s ass by the way). Thursday, before Friday, my MPWs lecturer’s turn came to grace the walkway: soft jeans, light blue, 5 inches above the knee – my Reason to beg leave from a lesson and watch with glee the spectacle in front of me.

Anxiety returned to fill the space he vacated. Drenched with sweat, (with a warm-up only?), I hypothesized that fear over stimulated his sweat glands. What’s more, he forgot to remove his glasses – which he said he would during Play.


Play: Yesterday it began with the checking of nails. Anxious stretched out his hands –more than the obligatory range-implying a long period of time since he left school. Today, it was practice: run Purposefully and hit the hoop. Anxiety blundered – giving Audience the Ice Ball (Boy….. he needs help).

Game: Rather Tense I would say. So much so the players had to calm the supporters instead of the other way round. What not with...

“WATCH-OUT-FOR-FOUL-SUCKER NO.4!”

So much for being Discrete. This piece of Advice flew from the left, across the court to the right-where the Benched Players were. Intense – the players even defended while stretched full-length on the floor. Another even did community service after mopping the court clean with his Jersey as the Rag and Sweat as the Detergent.

“DZEM, DZEM, DZEM, DZEM…!!!!”

I searched our team for an International. Who could it be, deserving such a chorus of support, as the opponent drew closer to Our Hoop.

“It’s DEFEND lar…”

Friend corrected me while laughing at my expense and I did just the same, to hide Shame.

By 6 p.m, it was Clear - Winners we were.

Confusion and Despair

Snuggled in the car, anxiously waiting for the caterpillar traffic to start showing signs of life, combating the chill of the air-condition system which of chaffing my lips with every passing moment, I stared outside my window and contemplated the view. People, basically made the picture ever more lively, somewhat engrossed in their menial task, not to them, but to the silent observer. Standing, watching, waiting, scratching, talking, laughing, dreaming, walking.

The bus stop was a buzz with activity. Above all, the ones dressed in a knee length white coat, with pens stacked neatly in the breast pocket; blue, red and black, nothing surprising here, sleeves ; some short while the others long, a slit just above the pocket, with glum expressions on their faces. I wondered what was going on their minds; the last patient they say or just simply the road ahead. Bespectacled and clutching and umbrella tightly as a shield from the drizzling rain, they were simply monotonous.

Inside, I quietly digested the sight, 5 years down the road, I might just be like them, at least I hope to be white coated minus the glumness. Many would be able to relate with me, especially right now, at this particular crossroad, in wake of the approaching interviews and god-forsaken admission tests prior to getting a seat in university.

I’m certainly not yet immune to all the hassle this process put me in. Infected with the disease, I’m a walking volcano, from the formative ones to the near-eruption ones, culminating in a pizza-panda-blur look in the face.

I know I should be certain about my choice: by now. But I simply cannot put into words the core reason for me embarking on journey of bumpy roads and dilapidated bridges. I find myself tongue-twisted and muddled in a dead-end when I give honest-to-goodness answers to self asked questions. All this hysteria because of the ‘childishness’ in most of what I say in reply. The only progress I’m making is the flexibility of my neck after practicing shaking my head from side-to-side after listening to myself with utter despair and disbelieve.

The condition then worsens: thanks to the ever prepared bunch of people I call friends. Shoving pride and self-esteem to a corner: I’m no match to some of them. I can picture myself being whipped into a gutter already…

The BIG question is: Is it WORTH IT?
While I’m still pondering, and God-I-KNOW it’s a bit to late for that, Earth is revolving around her axis, moving inch by inch closer to the spot in the orbit she left a year ago. Relatively, I’m stuck at the same point on Earth…while my peers already sky-rocketed off, with me waving an obliging hand good-bye.

SHhhhhh! Gossip

“Ah, everybody needs to bitch about somebody someday. Besides, it’s the time of the month, for me that it,” she said.

I nodded in approval since I was technically doing more than listening that day. The juice of it however, was the fact that the subject in question was sitting directly in front of me, sharing the same coffee table, animatedly talking to another member of the group. The term ‘back-stabbing’ suffers greatly from its misuse in this scenario since we were reverting it usage outright. It simply can’t be helped, I told myself, as I watched him ‘impressing’ his mate with his freshly memorised facts in preparation for a test. “Argh” we mourned in complete disgust while watching him ‘make’ a point…

See, gossip can seriously retard ones station in life. If a neutral party were to receive incriminating news about a person, he would be predisposed to ‘look-out’ for the said weird qualities in that person. And, oh-so-unfortunate if he detects it because he would most certainly view the person in a different light altogether. After that, it would be quite a daunting task to thread upon neutrality again.

But, gossips can be horrendously fun too.
For example :
A pretty girl dressed daringly walks past, baring her mid-riff..
-My gosh, her body…
-You have no idea..
-Why?
-She once came to college, BRALESS!
-Ah huh-
-The lecturer couldn’t teach and the guys were occupied throughout the class, ogling at
her that is..
-She wore white that day..
-Yewww
-She goes around braless in the hostel too ..

That’s just a simple one. They’re many varieties of gossip. I met a person who refused to link me to her blog-site, citing that hers was all about backstabbing someone and therefore she didn’t want to jeopardize her freedom of speech if the subject finds out.

Now, don’t start thinking gossiping is a past-time exclusively for girls. I was like a bursting damn the other day and since it was a guy I was talking to, I made it clear what I was about to do.

He simply said “I wonder why girls like to gossip with me…”
“You should be honoured…”
“Huh?”
“It only means you’re nice to talk to..’

It doesn’t quite revolve around peers of the same age group…it stretches quite far sometimes….even including the teaching staff..

Example:
-Did you see that?
-See what?
-Oh, come here lah!
-Gosh, did the shop run out of L-sized shirt or what?
-Knowing him, he would have asked for the S-sized instead…
-ahhahahahha, so cute lar…No class to teach today I think…
-Note the absence of a collared shirt with those ever-colourful ties
-Got to tell the others man…
-Er, never realised how ‘small’ he is after all that ‘oh-I’m-so-important-but-cool-walk’..
-hahhahahha

I’m sure everybody has ‘talked’ about somebody’s sexual orientation before and even went as far as having a heated conversation about it….

While I was watching a friend munching away his ‘Sneakers’ in front of me without any consideration to me when I made it clear that it was my favourite, a guy who happens to be a homosexual passed by. Hoping to entertain him, but above all distract myself from a bar of heavenly chocolate, I told him that that guy was gay. His reply was a blank look while he watched him tenderly hug a girl and sit down cross-legged before rushing into a animated ‘girl-talk’ and a simple “Who told you ?”

Having said all that, gossip ain’t right but its sure a lot of fun. Especially when you’re trying to kill time and divert attention from yourself.