Driving Maverick

Red - Go
Yellow - Go Faster
Green - Go without looking

That's what the traffic lights mean to my Chemistry Lecturer. (Yah, of course he was joking). This came up after my proud announcement that I had jumped the red light that morning, on the way to college. It just didn't make sense - waiting. Since it's an old car, I think there must be something wrong with the shock absorbers or something - it just vibrates when stationary. No, its not stimulating, interestingly it just induces an urge to pee.

I got my 'P' driving license back in April 2004. I had cold feet I suppose, I never did like driving back then. Just go on the road and you see cars akin to speeding bullets and I didn't get the criss-crossing of changing lanes. Too many things to watch out for. Plus, I just couldn't get things coordinated, even if I could, it would just be too late. How is it that the rear view mirror and the side ones were suppose to work hand-in-hand? I had no direction and worse, no dimension. My spatial intelligence was zilch, if anything!

Then came December 2004. Mommy told me there was a possibility that I would be home alone for a couple of months, and so I had to drive my sorry self around. It's reason enough to push and shove myself to take the wheel…..

It February now, and I have broken speed limits at residential areas, jumped a red light, and ignored a quick changing yellow light…just like a typical Malaysian. It didn't occur to me that while I was getting all jaded, the authorities are in full force against errant drivers.

I'm just getting all comfortable with driving. You know, the maneuvering with one hand, coolly giving others the priority at junctions, flashing the one hand wave to guards…AND…Blasting the radio. Initially refrained myself from singing along during daytime, (don't want to be labeled as a madman). Thanks to the hands-free set, I guess it's okay to pretend you're actually conversing with someone. Then again, who needs to be self-conscious?

Blasting the radio and singing along is just plain fun. Even converted my usually silent lil' bro into a singing partner. With songs like 'You make me feel like dancing', you just HAVE dance to it. Of course it's only limited to moving the shoulders, but hey, that's good enough.

It's not all rosy though - My dad thinks my turnings are horrendous and mommy says my parking skills are nothing short of shit-ty. The only one that doesn't complain is lil' bro. Driving him to and fro from tuition is the only time he gets to rap without chiding from mother dear.

And by the by, only on Wednesday, I coax my friend into letting me cruise on her big-fat-green Mercedes. Oh, such a big thing controlled by - ME! So, it was just a straight road, and I didn't get to take any turns, but I DROVE A MERC…….AwEsOmE!

Who knows what's to come of my driving in the weeks to come…no accidents…hopefully….heh!

Dozing off with John Mayer's Daughters

Silky Soft Business

Grooming can be a very tricky business. Too many precautions, time limits, endless reminders/directions, and the sheer amount of Time!

The last time I shaved - sometime in July 2004. Wore a wrap-around-skirt for the Prize Giving Day in my secondary school. The whole time was spent sitting all prepped-up with my right ankle rested on my left ankle and ensuring my flapping skirt was in fact wrapped round my legs, revealing no more that the skin surface I had shaved.

If you're gasping with horror why it took 7/8 months for my latest shave - Read On!

Methods of hair removal are all - point blank - weapons of medieval torture.

Shaving - with razor blades to me is like scalding a fish, just like how a fishmonger does it in your Sunday market. Its seriously isn't a pretty sight - even for a dead fish.

Waxing - Oh My GOD - NOOO! C'mmon, even removing a plaster on a wound would induce a being with the highest pain threshold to shriek out in misery. Imagine doing that on the whole length of your leg. Now, multiply that by 2. (A pair of legs, we have..)

Cream - The only thing I can handle - more like the only thing I dare to try…

8.45 p.m - Rushed to the bathroom. Closed the door and gingerly tried to sit myself down on the tiny raised platform. Ended up doing acrobatics to keep my balance. Got my pants all wet and had to remove my T-shirt and use it to wipe my legs dry. It's always better with experience. Squeezed the cream out like lacing toothpaste on a very long toothbrush. Then, smothered the cream with the applicator on the skin surface. Having done that, glanced at my wrist watch, sturdily strapped on the wrist (in the bathroom! How ridiculous!). Must only leave in on the skin for 8 minutes and no more… but that depends on the hair growth……

By then the bathroom smelled like a salon, except much more saline. See, the cream in basically very very very alkaline. Applied on the skin, it's like a weed killer. I watched my hair crinkle up - having lost sorely to the …herbicide?

The thing about shaving is the results only last for ONE, only One BLOODY HELL DAY! Life totally sucks - who knew hair grows that fast. Thus, one needs to do it frequently. Paving the ways for ingrown hair, bumpy red spots, pimples and even scars. My friend, back in school, was a notorious shaver (sounds weird). Her legs ended up being all spotty and for the very reason the shaved; she had to cover her legs because it was marred with spots.

The great thing about shaving is, you would never have realised before how smooth your skin is. The silky soft effect, enhanced by the alkaline cream makes you feel like you're the in model in the Johnson&Johnson commercial. Just like a baby….And oh yes, it's a LOT fairer…

After about 12 minutes, wiped the cream off and had to go down on my fours to remove whatever that had left my legs and decided to grace the bathroom floor. Mommy wouldn't be pleased with the slipperiness.

Only at 9.20 did I start having my bath, and had to be careful to make sure no soap was getting to my legs. Am not counting on an allergic reaction after all that effort.


That's in one shaving session. Wonder why it doesn't sound as bad as I thought it be. But, to drive my point - I am A LOT more comfortable in pants, so, who needs a shave?

Currently jamming to Alanis Morissette's Ironic

Lunar Aspirations..

Oh, man, it's been so long, ain't it? Honestly, have been refusing to wear my thinking cap to come up with something worth mentioning for a couple of weeks. This is more of a reaction than an action and don't blame a dry well for that matter. So, what prompted this stagnancy? From experience, no one responses to depressing details of a fellow being - so - let's just skip that, shall we?

My blog - well - is the very essence of my stimulus, at least, if you read in between the lines of all my entries for the past few months.

To justify my lack of effort in blogging since the Georgian Calendar's New Year = A greater part of the year was spent in the gutter. A high price to pay for one day, just One day of complete, absolute - exaltation. All my worries have since materialised into a severe mortification of receiving any form of correspondence, although its connection to university applications if anything is vague.

My blogging sterility has in turn caused a sudden urge to read archives of fellow bloggers as well as mine. To my horror, 90 bloody hell percent of my blog is filled with disillusionment. Almost like as if I was living in an Alternate Universe - all rosy and surreal. I sounded too…zesty and *gasp* - happy.

Yup, yup, when you're down, there's no other way to go but - Up. Then again, bad luck to me is like a slow, prolonged drizzle. Trickling down initially, but picking up speed till it becomes a hailstorm.

So, if raindrops keep falling on my head, my eyes won't turn red. I'll just - Let it Be.

Current Comforting Song : Alanis Morissette's 'Learn'

p.s - on a brighter note - Junkies looking for a fresh start can always use the Chinese lunar calendar and start over. Happy NEW YEAR!