Silky Soft Business

Grooming can be a very tricky business. Too many precautions, time limits, endless reminders/directions, and the sheer amount of Time!

The last time I shaved - sometime in July 2004. Wore a wrap-around-skirt for the Prize Giving Day in my secondary school. The whole time was spent sitting all prepped-up with my right ankle rested on my left ankle and ensuring my flapping skirt was in fact wrapped round my legs, revealing no more that the skin surface I had shaved.

If you're gasping with horror why it took 7/8 months for my latest shave - Read On!

Methods of hair removal are all - point blank - weapons of medieval torture.

Shaving - with razor blades to me is like scalding a fish, just like how a fishmonger does it in your Sunday market. Its seriously isn't a pretty sight - even for a dead fish.

Waxing - Oh My GOD - NOOO! C'mmon, even removing a plaster on a wound would induce a being with the highest pain threshold to shriek out in misery. Imagine doing that on the whole length of your leg. Now, multiply that by 2. (A pair of legs, we have..)

Cream - The only thing I can handle - more like the only thing I dare to try…

8.45 p.m - Rushed to the bathroom. Closed the door and gingerly tried to sit myself down on the tiny raised platform. Ended up doing acrobatics to keep my balance. Got my pants all wet and had to remove my T-shirt and use it to wipe my legs dry. It's always better with experience. Squeezed the cream out like lacing toothpaste on a very long toothbrush. Then, smothered the cream with the applicator on the skin surface. Having done that, glanced at my wrist watch, sturdily strapped on the wrist (in the bathroom! How ridiculous!). Must only leave in on the skin for 8 minutes and no more… but that depends on the hair growth……

By then the bathroom smelled like a salon, except much more saline. See, the cream in basically very very very alkaline. Applied on the skin, it's like a weed killer. I watched my hair crinkle up - having lost sorely to the …herbicide?

The thing about shaving is the results only last for ONE, only One BLOODY HELL DAY! Life totally sucks - who knew hair grows that fast. Thus, one needs to do it frequently. Paving the ways for ingrown hair, bumpy red spots, pimples and even scars. My friend, back in school, was a notorious shaver (sounds weird). Her legs ended up being all spotty and for the very reason the shaved; she had to cover her legs because it was marred with spots.

The great thing about shaving is, you would never have realised before how smooth your skin is. The silky soft effect, enhanced by the alkaline cream makes you feel like you're the in model in the Johnson&Johnson commercial. Just like a baby….And oh yes, it's a LOT fairer…

After about 12 minutes, wiped the cream off and had to go down on my fours to remove whatever that had left my legs and decided to grace the bathroom floor. Mommy wouldn't be pleased with the slipperiness.

Only at 9.20 did I start having my bath, and had to be careful to make sure no soap was getting to my legs. Am not counting on an allergic reaction after all that effort.


That's in one shaving session. Wonder why it doesn't sound as bad as I thought it be. But, to drive my point - I am A LOT more comfortable in pants, so, who needs a shave?

Currently jamming to Alanis Morissette's Ironic