Saturday, June 16, 2007


Term ended yesterday, officially. It was a long time coming but well, only mellowed goodbyes were exchanged. I guess we would miss all those 1st time this-that adventures we share in Uni.

So like always, looking for something new, we ended up in a jazz bar. A 70’s hippie jazz bar. With every passing moment, I was more convinced I was trapped in a time warp. Beside me, my vegetarian friend grew increasingly excited as he turned page after page of the menu. This is by far the coolest restaurant ever to have a fully veged-out menu. And believe you me, it was really cool.

While I was head bopping to what I was certain was retro 70’s music by obscure artists, appreciating the psychedelic light display and slurping Raspberry Julep (raspberry + mint leaves), a friend of mine confronted his chocolate and orange slice.

It wasn’t just an extra moist brownie. Inside it contained the secret ingredient in 15% of the food listed in the menu. Between salivating mouths and politeness, all of us waited to see who would ask for a taste, because after that it would be okay to pass the brownie along.

He took the first bite, pronounced it “Hard to chew, but good…..really good…..uh..the seeds are at the back of my mouth….heheh, am happy, this is good” We smiled and swallowed one last mouthful of saliva and then thankfully the happy vegan asked for a taster.

It was too mild to cause any consequence, add to the fact that it’s a legalise substance. The excitement of trying it wasn’t as exhilarating. But to most of us, the experience was new and worth the effort to blog about. Hemp is a strain of cannabis, the perpetrator of the seedy feeling at the back of the mouth. Apparently this café specialises in Hemp, the secret ingredient. I looked on as another friend tried in vain to remain a lady while biting a mouthful of Hemp burger. She smiled back, catching me eyeing her amusingly.

As time flew, I was dizzy with 2nd hand smoke that smelt like the whiff you get after lighting a fire cracker. I never knew dreadlocks can add the attractiveness factor in a man and vowed to visit this place appropriately embracing the flower power when I come back in September. Alley’s Café is SO the COOL BEANS!

Current Music: The Chiffon's One Fine Day

Thursday, June 07, 2007

BoNdI The Dim

2nd year officially ended yesterday. The exit was nothing short of theatrical. Why? I finally proved am a walking, talking, breathing zombie with porridge for brains.

To begin with, I used my wrong foot and I make no excuse for it.

Well, like all academic terms, it concludes with an exam. And I, hrm, sat for an exam not knowing what it was at all. Wait, wait; I knew it was OSCE; where we are suppose to run along, out of breath to the beat of chiming bells going of at 5 minutes interval. Quickly, objectively, politely; pressing limbs, prodding abdomen, peering into eye balls, dipping urine, pricking fingers, hammering knees............To be entirely honestly, I didn’t know what OSCE stood for until we celebrated over Lebanese cuisine and belly dancers. But well, it was too late to make amends.

Fool’s play number 1; CPR

Right; assess danger, check airway, breathing, shout for help, circulation, call ambulance, compress, ventilate…….
Of course, I would verbally say I would remove the constriction without actually removing it. How much more dim can I get!
Cracked up the examiner, lightened the mood a little, but wasn’t sure it was for my benefit.

Fool’s play number 2; Otoscopy

This where we pull your ear lobes to peer into your ear canals. Was my best station as I recall with my gold fish memory.
But yes, I forgot to wash my hands! That’s a cardinal mistake; even a joker will tell you that.
Examiner was happy to change the score sheet when a red faced me added after concluding the examination that I should have prioritise cleanliness before anything else. But still!

Oh dear, the list goes on, but really, I can’t be bothered to illustrate since the above is more than enough to prove my point.

I always say I would do better, much better in fact in 80’s music pop quizzes then being/learning to be a doctor.

Current music: Ben Lee’s Catch My Disease

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Ally, Ally, Ally!

What do I remember of my 15 year old self?

Ally Mcbeal. While not defining my life at that point; she was my window to the world of adult liberation; sex, dancing, ultra miniskirts, cocktails and who can forget the fantastic music?

Once a week, I would relish my time where I would rest my arse on the sofa instead of my thinned, insufficiently cushioned work chair, tearing myself away from textbooks or penguin classics – because they were ridiculously cheap.

Ally was my guide. Yeah, we were at opposite poles; she was half way on the relationship roller coaster ride (because at 30, heaven forbid, females are not at the end of the ride!), while I have not quite started yet. I wonder why I thought we were bosom buddies; we had nothing in common apart from severe loneliness, dejection and the propensity to surprise by dancing crazy, inappropriately paced verbal diarrhoea, turn radish red in a blink of an eye….

Watching it again, 6 years later, I wonder how I understood many things…those innuendoes you need to be on your own feet to know. But there are common themes any girl, of any age can relate too. For example Ally thought me early that, ‘Men are testosterone filled mutts’…which with experience you’ll know it’s not completely true. And who knew the deceptively clean co-ed washrooms could be the best place to gossip only to have the very person being discussed come out of the stall? Oh, there was never a groovier place to shake those hips to Barry White!

But the greatest lesson of all is the Ling's 101 on kissing:

Tilt your head,

Worse thing would be for our noses to collide

Now lick you lips..i’ll do it….you don’t want them dry

Now ….just receive….reciprocate, but don’t escalate….

You ready?

You may think you have been kissed Richard Fish, but you haven’t been

The result – Richard was hyperventilating 5 mins later.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

But, What The Heck For?

Having endured an average of 3 hours of sleep daily for the pass 2 weeks, I would wonder why anyone would subject themselves to 11 days of wakefulness. And get this; he remained lucid the whole time!

Even for research purposes, it seems an act bordering on insanity. When 3 am was too early to hit the sack and 8.30 am was too late to remain in it; hours spent sleeping was decided upon how much I needed to avoid dozing off during the exams, literally.

Still why push it to 11 days? The whole race to stay awake the longest (why the heck even bother?), began with an imaginative 17 year old. I can’t imagine why an innocent high school kid would do this to himself when it’s generally accepted that sleep is far more rewarding for the self-esteem; anything is possible in your dreams. Maybe its just for getting into the books glorifying boundary pushing acts.

One thing’s for sure, even though exams are looming devilishly close, no one would rather have no sleep at all, because it’s the one thing that you can do to escape reality (that exams are creepily close) and because it’s the only activity to indulge in with less guilt.

Sleep is a pleasure now, sadly.

Current Music : Ella Fitzgerald's Georgia On My Mind

Monday, May 21, 2007

Oh Dear!

Just 1 down, and am already dreaming of fair days and colourful nights. With 4 more to go, it’s hardly an acceptable behaviour. But if you thought that’s the worse, hold on, you cannot beat humming your newly discovered tune while accepting the fact that the questions tend to get harder as the paper progresses and if your sweating blood in page 2, you might as well get down on your knees and pray for divine intervention.

Never mind my misadventures….It’s funny how I stumble on new music or rediscover old ones during the ‘exam period’. Maybe it’s because of the self imposed house arrest that’s been going on for 3 weeks and a little more now.

But, oh my goodness! Bryan Adams is 47 years old! How freaking unbelievable is that! Yes, yes he’s been around a long time now, but 47? I discovered a much more youthful Adams singing It’s Only Love, in which he collaborated with the Grandmother of Rock (only because she’s been around for ages, she hardly looks her age, what not with legs like that!); Tina Turner. The chemistry is so the coolness!

Then there’s upcoming Jon McLaughlin…who’s marginally cute. We’re talking along the lines of Jerry Lee Lewis thumping the piano; only he’s already perspiring for mid-tempo songs. But the energy is again…unbelievable as seen and heard in Human. Pardon my lack of imaginative vocabulary. I have been reading nothing but Latinised English for the past month now.

But I really need to hit the books now.

Current music: Madonna’s Die Another Day

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

IV Me, Or Maybe Not

Needless too say, am beyond help....

I don't know what to do anymore....

I need more than an iv infusion of coffee....I don't know what to do.......bleugh

Current music: Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of The Heart

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Take Shit

The layer cake...

You’re born; you take shit.
Get out in the world; you take more shit.
Climb a little higher; take less shit.
Till one day you’re having the rarefied atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit looks like.
Welcome to the layer cake son.

And this, believe it or not, IS the truth. The baby's head is such that, the front-back diameter is the largest. It has to then fit snugly between the pelvic outlet of the female in labour, the largest diameter of which just happens to be front-back as well.

As life would have it, instead of facing upwards, the baby's head rotates side-ways from facing the left thigh to the anus. Hence, yes, welcome to the world and this is SHIT!

For more lessons of life, watch Layer Cake.

ps; if a piece of cake is not enough to tempt you and if you're one of those who said a Blonde Bond was backwards, EAT THIS!


Current Music: Brooke Fraser's Arithmetic