When Seeking Solace...

DO NOT come to me. I’m utterly pathetic. Perhaps, I’m too practical to be useful.

-Oh common HD, there are so many fishes in the sea...
-There’s only one for me. I only want that one.
-One of the first things we learn about men are their ‘big, fat, unplaced egos’ and we try so hard to avoid it only to find ourselves falling prey to them over and over and over,,,… What’s the damn point?! Now that he’s proven to be nothing but a punch-drunk-egotistical-fool, just tell him to f*** off lar!
-Oh, you just don’t get it, you just don’t…

Okay, right, I’m hopeless with words…so I used songs, to no avail.

-You know, I don’t mean to play the fool, but I think what you’re going through now has a lot of to do with that song..

She can’t say I’m stupid, so she just smiles, saying in one expression what would take many, many words…”Go back to the CRIB !”

To make matters worse, there’s me, trying, again, to seem brilliant by using metaphorical ideas to get the message across.

After receiving a greeting card from one of her many admirers…

-See, I told you there are so many invisible lines surrounding you, just waiting for your ‘inspection’.
-I only want ONE line!
-Hey…..but a line consist of many people….
-Maybe it’s smarter to say ‘I only want a DOT’...
-Ya lar…

Unable to choose her words, she flashed a smile, again, indicating she was ‘so-not-convinced’

-HD! Take a pencil and trace a line from that bloody dot!

Metaphorical jargon doesn’t help as it somehow suggests one needs divine help to move on. That’s why you might find me saying...

-Would you like to have some of my tea?
OR
-You should really have something to eat...
OR
-Man, chocolate would be perfect for this moment...

I can’t blame anyone if they deduce I’m not taking what their saying seriously. I sound bloody retarded anyway. What am I suppose to do? It’s so hard to gauge the situation. I know I’m a good patter, but what if they don’t want a pat on the back?

Goodness! All in all, poor, poor HD. Can’t blame her either. What can we, the fairer sex do, if we keep bumping into incorrigibly useless, spastically slow, brutally self-centered, decidedly dim-witted, insatiably satyric, gluttonous boars, perennially perfidious and oh yes, purposely unhygienic MEN. (Seen one with dirty fingernails every-god-forsaken-day!)

Certainly, it is hardly surprising if we decide, at a very young age to simply have multiple sexual partners and shun perpetual bondage with a member of the male species. They are simply a waste of resources. Period.

Rather than falling ‘blindly’ in love, spawning for the sake of passing on ‘mutated-good-for-nothing’ genes, cooking, cleaning and living under the sole of his feet, perhaps it is better to stretch your arms in bed only to cuddle a bolster instead of a living, breathing, warm masculine body…

Right? Right. Period.

Back to subject matter = oh god, I bloody hell DON’T KNOW! Period!

p.s : Fully realize the potentially volcanic and disastrous outcome of this post. Suggest drinking water and ventilating the lungs with gulps of air prior to writing a comment, especially if you happen to be a male. Am still open for comments, but silence on my part DOES NOT mean mutual understanding.

Curiosity Kills a Cat

Carrying out experiments can be exceptionally fun. Where else can you find colours changing, bubbles forming, water hissing, rotten egg and even perfumery smells? A feast of the senses!

On a lighter note, most of us would agree that more often than not, once the work is done, the fun starts. After completing our task, with all the camouflaging, poisonous chemicals in front of us, it would certainly be politically incorrect to just pour liquids in the sink and throw the solids in the bin. Anyone and everyone will simply mix the ingredients of various test tubes to see if they can create a different hue, smell or even to have a shot at winning a Nobel Prize.

My personal experience in the filed of experimental endeavours was more of a lesson than a discovery….

Year : 2000

Form : 2 Fasih

Time : 3.00 – 5.00 pm (no clear idea)

Subject : Science

Topic : Chemical Test for Food Substances

Task : 1) Mix all the ingredients from all the different test tubes into a boiling tube.
2) Stop the boiling tube with a bung.
3) Shake till you drop.

By then I had a crowd of equally if not more curious friends who wanted to see the outcome of my ‘concoction’. Curiosity kills a cat, but it was me who ended up with its carcass. I opened the bug to release a unanimous ‘gasp’ and ‘white-brick-red-blue-Benedict-albumin-yellow iodine-blue-starch spray. It spurted all over me and provided a splendid colour contrast to my maroon vest and black hair.

The next half and hour was spent cleaning my uniform with damp Kleenex (courtesy of empathic-happy-for-you-with-all-the-mess friends)

4 years later, while reading the alcohol section of Organic Chemistry; a lecturer of Temasik Juniour College, Singapore, provided few words of wisdom…

“While alcohol is used in beer, wine, etc. , methanol is highly toxic. Consumption leads to blindness and death. Industrial ethanol is spiked with methanol to make it unsuitable for drinking. So should anyone steal ethanol from the lab to get high, he will be justly punished.”

Someone should have warned me about being over-zealous with my food test….