Washed Out

With hypersensitive tear glands and mucous secreting cells working full force, I was literally washed out. ENOUGH was Enough. So I made a deal with myself. I promised myself a 'Time Out' first thing the next day if and only if I stayed up late and finish up work that was lagging for weeks. Anyway, who needs a cry baby, right?

So, as my ride to college sped off, instead of stepping into the cafeteria, I took a U-turn out. *gasp*. Classes weren't due until at least an hour and a half. So, there was time aplenty for me and only me….

As I sat on the swing in a nearby playground, I was aware of that most of the elderly people taking their morning walks were making horrid assumptions about me. What's an adolescent doing playing the swing, alone, early in the morning? Then again, anonymity gives you the freedom to do anything you please.

While oscillating, with the breeze lightly caressing my cheeks, life seemed just. Connection with anything outside my boundary was if anything, minute. So what if my seamless life was tearing apart. So what if I was in a stupor? So what if my life wasn't straight…and nothing…absolutely nothing made sense. Life, on a daily basis is really, down right mundane. It takes time, patience, pain and struggle to simply let things be. If I'm lucky, soon enough, the fog will clear and the Big Picture will come into focus.

I sat there, staring at my extra virginal legs - thanks to yesterday's shave, kicking the ground periodically for greater momentum. If only I had Norah Jones or Sarah McLaughlin plugged on now, everything would be perfect. There was background music though - a group of elders were doing tai chi. Their slowed motion and the soothing sound was good enough to whisk my worries away - temporarily.

My legs started aching soon enough, but distraction came to the rescue in the form of Michael Bublé's cover version of 'Dance with me'. Stay home mums were practicing their dance moves. I had to change my position to be able to watch them. Some of them got uncomfortable - I was staring too hard and smiling like the ice-cream man just stopped by. After a while, I had to suppress my impulsive desire to join them. Swaying hips and calculated steps were many times better than punching the calculator and memorizing pointless reaction mechanisms of transition metals.

I was aware that the moment I put my feet down and get up, my pretty little idyllic picture would crumble. I have to reconnect to reality, which I didn't want to do. But hey, how many times did you catch yourself doing something you don’t want do? I'm so bloody sore…oh god…HELP!


Reminiscing with Usher's U Got It Bad