Courtship Woes

Let me begin by saying human courtship rituals and I just don't go hand-in-hand.

**

It must have been a year, actually a little less since I had in the most innocent sense flirted with a guy. Innocent meaning, doing it - flirting - simply because the situation called for it, and oh well I did like (as in friends) the guy. Without doubts, hesitancies, worries and certainly without a care as to what anyone said.

We flirted for no other reason than to outwit/outlast/outplay each other. And it was never because we were interested. It was extremely exhilarating. Wagging tongues at each other, chasing him around with a bundle of newspaper to whack him with, roaring with laughter in the library, scheming on how to have the last laugh after a volley of insults thrown at each other…..

You know, let's NOT go there, whether either of us were 'fishing' or not. I honestly thought we were having wild banters that caused people to turn their heads - because we were both too laud, too boisterous, too anal, too this and too that!

Of course this 'virginal' form of flirtations lasted for a Very short time. Things got pretty messed up eventually - people talked and went on talking and I unfortunately listened. So one thing added to another and 'innocent flirts' turned into 'hinting flirts'. You can say that the whole affair died the moment I decided to flirt for the purpose of fishing/hinting/ and call it whatever you want lar, am sick of defending my deeds at that period of time.

So, to begin with, I had a very blotched history of 'successful' flirting. Then came the reactions to my actions, which were consequently ugly. I was depressed - to keep the dirty laundry where it should be, I will leave it at that. Then along came exams. Having said all that, I have accounted for all those time in between, where I had been flirting-free.

Back to present day.

I have been aware of myself telling others how tired I am with all these uh-ha of courting rituals. It really doesn't work for me. And I will tell you why.

It was late, 9.30 p.m. The food-stalls in Mid Valley were calling it a day. I was looking ahead, working my way to the carpark. Then, a guy - not my type, tall, skinny, bald, 20-ish, was leaning on a stall in the middle of the aisle. We made eye contact. I didn't even blink, but suddenly I decided to see if well, I could try to use human's instead of ape's courtship rituals for a change.

I looked - he looked - he smiled - I smiled - he stood erect , ready.

He handed me a flier - for Viking's Hotdogs!

THERE! That's it. Never going to do something that random anymore. Why is it that when I flirt the guy ends up selling me hotdogs? - ALL THE PUN IN THE WORLD INTENDED!


Howie Days' Collide seem to be perfect for those times when you wonder what it will be like if there was a significant other half with you.