Swanky-Fied BoNdI

Retro-fied

2007-06-16T09:35:00.000+01:00

Term ended yesterday, officially. It was a long time coming but well, only mellowed goodbyes were exchanged. I guess we would miss all those 1st time this-that adventures we share in Uni.

So like always, looking for something new, we ended up in a jazz bar. A 70’s hippie jazz bar. With every passing moment, I was more convinced I was trapped in a time warp. Beside me, my vegetarian friend grew increasingly excited as he turned page after page of the menu. This is by far the coolest restaurant ever to have a fully veged-out menu. And believe you me, it was really cool.

While I was head bopping to what I was certain was retro 70’s music by obscure artists, appreciating the psychedelic light display and slurping Raspberry Julep (raspberry + mint leaves), a friend of mine confronted his chocolate and orange slice.

It wasn’t just an extra moist brownie. Inside it contained the secret ingredient in 15% of the food listed in the menu. Between salivating mouths and politeness, all of us waited to see who would ask for a taste, because after that it would be okay to pass the brownie along.

He took the first bite, pronounced it “Hard to chew, but good…..really good…..uh..the seeds are at the back of my mouth….heheh, am happy, this is good” We smiled and swallowed one last mouthful of saliva and then thankfully the happy vegan asked for a taster.

It was too mild to cause any consequence, add to the fact that it’s a legalise substance. The excitement of trying it wasn’t as exhilarating. But to most of us, the experience was new and worth the effort to blog about. Hemp is a strain of cannabis, the perpetrator of the seedy feeling at the back of the mouth. Apparently this café specialises in Hemp, the secret ingredient. I looked on as another friend tried in vain to remain a lady while biting a mouthful of Hemp burger. She smiled back, catching me eyeing her amusingly.

As time flew, I was dizzy with 2nd hand smoke that smelt like the whiff you get after lighting a fire cracker. I never knew dreadlocks can add the attractiveness factor in a man and vowed to visit this place appropriately embracing the flower power when I come back in September. Alley’s Café is SO the COOL BEANS!

Current Music: The Chiffon's One Fine Day

BoNdI The Dim

2007-06-07T10:51:00.000+01:00

2nd year officially ended yesterday. The exit was nothing short of theatrical. Why? I finally proved am a walking, talking, breathing zombie with porridge for brains.

To begin with, I used my wrong foot and I make no excuse for it.

Well, like all academic terms, it concludes with an exam. And I, hrm, sat for an exam not knowing what it was at all. Wait, wait; I knew it was OSCE; where we are suppose to run along, out of breath to the beat of chiming bells going of at 5 minutes interval. Quickly, objectively, politely; pressing limbs, prodding abdomen, peering into eye balls, dipping urine, pricking fingers, hammering knees............To be entirely honestly, I didn’t know what OSCE stood for until we celebrated over Lebanese cuisine and belly dancers. But well, it was too late to make amends.

Fool’s play number 1; CPR

Right; assess danger, check airway, breathing, shout for help, circulation, call ambulance, compress, ventilate…….
Of course, I would verbally say I would remove the constriction without actually removing it. How much more dim can I get!
Cracked up the examiner, lightened the mood a little, but wasn’t sure it was for my benefit.

Fool’s play number 2; Otoscopy

This where we pull your ear lobes to peer into your ear canals. Was my best station as I recall with my gold fish memory.
But yes, I forgot to wash my hands! That’s a cardinal mistake; even a joker will tell you that.
Examiner was happy to change the score sheet when a red faced me added after concluding the examination that I should have prioritise cleanliness before anything else. But still!

Oh dear, the list goes on, but really, I can’t be bothered to illustrate since the above is more than enough to prove my point.

I always say I would do better, much better in fact in 80’s music pop quizzes then being/learning to be a doctor.

Current music: Ben Lee’s Catch My Disease

Ally, Ally, Ally!

2007-06-03T14:12:00.000+01:00

What do I remember of my 15 year old self?

Ally Mcbeal. While not defining my life at that point; she was my window to the world of adult liberation; sex, dancing, ultra miniskirts, cocktails and who can forget the fantastic music?

Once a week, I would relish my time where I would rest my arse on the sofa instead of my thinned, insufficiently cushioned work chair, tearing myself away from textbooks or penguin classics – because they were ridiculously cheap.

Ally was my guide. Yeah, we were at opposite poles; she was half way on the relationship roller coaster ride (because at 30, heaven forbid, females are not at the end of the ride!), while I have not quite started yet. I wonder why I thought we were bosom buddies; we had nothing in common apart from severe loneliness, dejection and the propensity to surprise by dancing crazy, inappropriately paced verbal diarrhoea, turn radish red in a blink of an eye….

Watching it again, 6 years later, I wonder how I understood many things…those innuendoes you need to be on your own feet to know. But there are common themes any girl, of any age can relate too. For example Ally thought me early that, ‘Men are testosterone filled mutts’…which with experience you’ll know it’s not completely true. And who knew the deceptively clean co-ed washrooms could be the best place to gossip only to have the very person being discussed come out of the stall? Oh, there was never a groovier place to shake those hips to Barry White!

But the greatest lesson of all is the Ling's 101 on kissing:

Tilt your head,

Worse thing would be for our noses to collide

Now lick you lips..i’ll do it….you don’t want them dry

Now ….just receive….reciprocate, but don’t escalate….

You ready?

You may think you have been kissed Richard Fish, but you haven’t been

The result – Richard was hyperventilating 5 mins later.

Current Music; Vonda Shepherd’s Searching My Soul

But, What The Heck For?

2007-05-26T01:05:00.000+01:00

Having endured an average of 3 hours of sleep daily for the pass 2 weeks, I would wonder why anyone would subject themselves to 11 days of wakefulness. And get this; he remained lucid the whole time!

Even for research purposes, it seems an act bordering on insanity. When 3 am was too early to hit the sack and 8.30 am was too late to remain in it; hours spent sleeping was decided upon how much I needed to avoid dozing off during the exams, literally.

Still why push it to 11 days? The whole race to stay awake the longest (why the heck even bother?), began with an imaginative 17 year old. I can’t imagine why an innocent high school kid would do this to himself when it’s generally accepted that sleep is far more rewarding for the self-esteem; anything is possible in your dreams. Maybe its just for getting into the books glorifying boundary pushing acts.

One thing’s for sure, even though exams are looming devilishly close, no one would rather have no sleep at all, because it’s the one thing that you can do to escape reality (that exams are creepily close) and because it’s the only activity to indulge in with less guilt.

Sleep is a pleasure now, sadly.

Current Music : Ella Fitzgerald's Georgia On My Mind

Oh Dear!

2007-05-21T18:14:00.000+01:00

Just 1 down, and am already dreaming of fair days and colourful nights. With 4 more to go, it’s hardly an acceptable behaviour. But if you thought that’s the worse, hold on, you cannot beat humming your newly discovered tune while accepting the fact that the questions tend to get harder as the paper progresses and if your sweating blood in page 2, you might as well get down on your knees and pray for divine intervention.

Never mind my misadventures….It’s funny how I stumble on new music or rediscover old ones during the ‘exam period’. Maybe it’s because of the self imposed house arrest that’s been going on for 3 weeks and a little more now.

But, oh my goodness! Bryan Adams is 47 years old! How freaking unbelievable is that! Yes, yes he’s been around a long time now, but 47? I discovered a much more youthful Adams singing It’s Only Love, in which he collaborated with the Grandmother of Rock (only because she’s been around for ages, she hardly looks her age, what not with legs like that!); Tina Turner. The chemistry is so the coolness!

Then there’s upcoming Jon McLaughlin…who’s marginally cute. We’re talking along the lines of Jerry Lee Lewis thumping the piano; only he’s already perspiring for mid-tempo songs. But the energy is again…unbelievable as seen and heard in Human. Pardon my lack of imaginative vocabulary. I have been reading nothing but Latinised English for the past month now.

But I really need to hit the books now.

Current music: Madonna’s Die Another Day

IV Me, Or Maybe Not

2007-05-15T10:49:00.001+01:00

Needless too say, am beyond help....

I don't know what to do anymore....

I need more than an iv infusion of coffee....I don't know what to do.......bleugh

Current music: Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of The Heart

Take Shit

2007-05-06T21:12:00.000+01:00

The layer cake...

You’re born; you take shit.
Get out in the world; you take more shit.
Climb a little higher; take less shit.
Till one day you’re having the rarefied atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit looks like.
Welcome to the layer cake son.

And this, believe it or not, IS the truth. The baby's head is such that, the front-back diameter is the largest. It has to then fit snugly between the pelvic outlet of the female in labour, the largest diameter of which just happens to be front-back as well.

As life would have it, instead of facing upwards, the baby's head rotates side-ways from facing the left thigh to the anus. Hence, yes, welcome to the world and this is SHIT!

For more lessons of life, watch Layer Cake.

ps; if a piece of cake is not enough to tempt you and if you're one of those who said a Blonde Bond was backwards, EAT THIS!

Current Music: Brooke Fraser's Arithmetic

The Green Fairy

2007-05-04T19:24:00.000+01:00

The Green Fairy

The banning of Absinthe..the end of liberation..

2 weeks, that’s all. That’s how long I have.

It’s the time again where;

My world is reduced to a 4 x 4 cubicle.

I crave and binge on milk and sugar based products; chocolates, cheese, oats, coffee, sweets…

The days seem shorter, colder and imminently unstoppable.

Usually, I make plans for the better days ahead, this time, it doesn’t seem probable. This time, it doesn’t feel feasible.

I don’t know how to go on like this, this ... is just wrong…I am not actively pumping facts in my head, am merely glancing at pages upon pages on never ending scribbles. Two weeks; it’s hardly enough. How to remain afloat, I cannot tell.

I don’t want to seem dramatic about this, but everything feels unreal at this moment.

The only plan I have is to get my first taste of Absinthe; the Green Hairy. Just one shot. That’s all. After…the end the exams....

Current Music: The Weepies’ Gotta have you

Right....

2007-04-28T00:46:00.000+01:00

ekk.....

A quick one here;

Found this picture extremely interesting. If I was in her shoes....my belly would touch the wall way (wayyyyyyy) before anything else.

I obviously, failed.

Current music; Goo Goo Dolls' Broadway

I Want To Be A Neurosurgeon

2007-04-23T07:59:00.000+01:00

I want to be a neurosurgeon. Yes, the decision is finally made. I need no longer to say I’m keeping my options open, I need no longer squirm when those surrounding me appear to have a direction ahead of them; I lost mine after successfully enrolling in med school. For 1 year and a little more, its been about “What now?”. Yeah, I could hope for graduating the very least..

But neurosurgery…why?

I love how I don’t know where anything is. My brain anatomy is spectacular.

I love how every term inspires my imagination. It works wonders on my attention span.

I love how I’m learning a new language; and here I was with the delusion that Tamil was harder (I’m a coconut by the way).

I love the challenge of memorising 45 odd lectures within 27 days.

I love how there are motor and sensory pathways from the brain to the spinal cord and vice versa. I always had the knack of getting lost from my place to the store not 1 minute away.

I love how I can remember everything I read just a second ago.

I love very minuscule diagram our dearest lecturers replicated for us; I should change my prescription from uni to bi-focused.

I love waking up everyday knowing I’m going to do so well, the exam board might offer me a 2nd go at it after summer holidays.

I absolutely love Functional Behavioural Neuroanatomy!

Current music: Foy Vance’s Gabriel and the Vagabond (Grey’s Anatomy OST)

Suprise, Am Back!

2007-04-21T22:59:00.000+01:00

Just enough to teast...

Sans airbrush, age graced Adam

Surprises never fail to pull a string or two. Just like how am giving blogging a second shot after quite awhile. Nah, I honestly got carried away with the other great phenomenon aptly named Facebook. It helps to feed on your stalker habits….

But I digress, so yes, am fairly surprised that am trying a hand at this, though me repeating this is surely going to bore the life out of you insomniacs (for those in the UK at least). The time though is hardly surprising, meaning, its not more that 30 days before the course I swore by would require me to be extra anally retentive.

Again, that’s beside the point. What I wanted to say was this;12 years of single sex education makes you crave, and I mean really crave for surprises; comprising an Adam’s apple, husky voice and a whole lot of other traits beautifully packaged in 6 packs (because 8 packs might be too much to ask heh). But thinking that university might be able to complete what was scant did nothing but to disappoint me.

I am not without needs, and what little I am offered, I reap, so that’s what I did. Went down to London to watch Wicked (the West End Musical version) recently. And boy was it cool! Cooler still! I SAW ADAM GARCIA! And he was playing the male lead.

Don’t know if you remember him girlies but he was the male lead in Coyote Ugly…yes the one with the Aussie accent! Ah!! THAT GORGEOUS guy! As if being pleasantly surprised once was not enough, I surprised myself; I kissed his poster in public!!!

By public I mean the ticket attendant who was busy closing Apollo Victoria theatre. Yes, I did try to wait for him to leave, but we had a bus to catch….

Spontaneity; that’s a surprise by itself. What’s better is seeing him. I remember watching Bootmen; an Australian production a day before my organ exam. As a 16 year old, you don’t need to second guess how glued to the tele I was, but I would have never guessed I would be seeing him in person after all this years!

HA ha! Am still quite surprised…aahhhhhhhhhhhh…………….

Current music; John Mayer’s Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

The £10 Note Meets The £1 Coin

2006-12-19T00:48:00.000Z

Medics are happy people :)

King's College, Cambridge

The £10 Note meets the £1 Coin regularly, you know, to catch up.

“So, what has your week been like?” said the £1 coin to the £10 Note.
“Quite an exciting week I would say…saw a football match, had Chinese take-away, went shopping, visited the dentist…….. How about you? Did anything nice?”
“Oh, well, the usual……Church, church, church…”

If we are still talking in terms of notes and coins, want to know what happened to £ 400.00++ ?

PUFF!

YES! It disappeared! Right in front of my eyes…………ohhhhh………how it pains me.

The cause: Missed flight
Reasons:

1) Freaking security check
-Blatant inefficiency
-Petulant staff
-Unreasonably rude and inconsiderate personnel at the Stansted Airport.

2) Sneaky, conniving budget airline
- Idiotic RyanAir
- Irresponsible staff

3) Heightened human traffic
- need I say more…the time of the year explains it all

O god, I can’t possibly continue writing coherently in bullet points. It’s just not fair at all. Tell me, would you expect things like this to happen to you when you took the pains to get to the airport 2 hours earlier, and get this, as advised. Then line up, only to be held up with baggage procedures and then told to proceed to a sneaking, snaking, impossibly long line for the security check. Then there is this unreasonably sour bunch of green moronic idiots called security guards who are so pointless! And all this at 5 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND get this, after indelible ruining us, they sent us to-and-fro while pointing, pushing the blame on separate companies…..made us fill up ‘I-Will-Look-This-Up-Next-Year Feedback forms’ simply because RyanAir would not take responsibility for us missing the flight due to the delay caused by the Airport Staff.

This is pointless, complaining about this. But to conclude;

1) Yes, we are striving to bug the hell out of those that ‘puffed-away’ our money, and we WOULD NOT QUIT till we get it ALL BACK! ALL OF IT!

2) Yes, I will cringe at the mention of Norway from now on, its just jinxed Ee Mae. Am so sorry, but I cannot possibly be expected to remain optimistic about this.

3) Impromptu decisions are exciting! Cambridge was brilliant Ee Mae! Everything was perfect, even the weather. Brought back pangs of what am missing out on though……..it’s their loss, stupid Queens College!

4) Time to rot in Notts and study I suppose………oh well………my money…………aaarrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Current Music : John Mayer's Waiting on the world to change

My Neglected Blog

2006-12-09T09:53:00.000Z

Deeparaya 2006 - NMS committee

Julie's 21st, at Hooters

Sunita's 19th, at my pretty little house

Notts Games 2006, Registration Sub-Committee

Nilany's 25th, at my home, again

Xmas Concert, WeeVien's solo performance

…… listening to too many records messes your life up….maybe there’s something in it after all. It seems to me that if you place music (and books, probably, and films, and plays, and anything that makes you feel) at the centre of your being, then you can’t afford to sort out you love life; start to think of it as a finished product. You’ve got to pick at it, keep it alive and in turmoil, you’ve got to pick at it and unravel it until it all comes apart and you’re compelled to start all over again.

Maybe we all live at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never really feel content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship. Maybe Al Green is responsible for more than I ever realised.

[ High Fidelity, Nick Hornby ]

Second year is much better than the first;

Am no longer home sick

Am in better control of my food intake, although gastrointestinal emptying does throw of the restrain and ¾ of the day is spent in the kitchen nibbling.

Chocolate does not constitute my staple diet.
(But well, since I’m prone to emotional distress and an unstable psychological state, I do succumb to it sometimes…….)
It’s amazing though, living with people you know in a house, instead of a 4 X 4 cubicle; medieval student accommodation, does in fact restore some semblance of normalcy in your life. Trust me, the last thing you want them to see is, you losing your self in a chocolate induced high.

Have accepted the fact that I’m never ‘gonna excel in Med School’.That one’s for you Jollivet, and it comes from the bottomless pit of my heart. Reason being, upon examination, I spend more time eating, sleeping, listening to music and wondering if that Idiot On My MSN List Is Going To Say Hi To Me Because I’m Crazy About Him. So, all the self-pity I have for myself when I complain that ‘I’m not doing as well as I should be although I’m trying’, is no longer an excuse. It should be thrown out of the window along with all my hopes of becoming a competent doctor.

Have achieved mental realization that my comfort zone is effectively – ‘To be constently depressed and believing that the world is against me’.
Ditto Dharshini! Yes, I bring about the sadness in my life. No, no, not Al Green, I don’t listen to him. But you should see what I listen to.

I don’t know what I want.
Seems to me, I have spent hours, heck, YEARS! interpreting the splatter patterns of split milk. I think too much, look 10 years older and react 10 years younger / older depending on the situation. I have a reason to believe they are inversely related.

I never keep my promises to myself.
This is self evident. I decided never to update my blog whenever I’m depressed and horny. That would explain why this space hasn’t received any attention from me since my last post. But, wait look, scroll up, down, and what do you see? The entire post is an example, no wait, excerpt of the potential monologue I’m going to have with my psychiatrist.

Oh well, I better stop here. The next time I post, let’s hope it’s something more…..Bright.

Dwelling with Eva Cassidy’s Time after time

Small, Small World

2006-08-27T16:56:00.000+01:00

It's a small world after-all

It’s a small world, you don’t have to live in it particularly long to learn that yourself. There’s a theory that, in the whole world, there are only 500 real people (the cast; all the rest, the theory suggests, are extras) and what is more, they all know each other.

In reality, the world is made of thousands upon thousands of groups of about 500 people, trying to avoid each other, and discovering each other in the same unlikely teashop in Vancouver.

It’s not even coincidence. It’s just the way the world works, with no regard for individuals or for propriety. (Excerpt from Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys)

You laugh off the miracles of the small world theory when the chance meeting is agreeable to you. The particular college lecturer than you had a fetish on, is seen having yam cha, under the protective shade of a Caribbean infused setting of a ‘Mamak’ stall, 370 kilometres away from where it’s more likely to see him. You exchange pleasantries, express undisguised shock, quiz on the others’ current interest/status/, promise future dealings, then depart because you just cannot hold that smile on your face any longer.

Then there are times, when the theory just serves to chill your bones dry.

On the way home, to meet my brother, idling his Singapore’s National day, my father and I received an excited call from him. He said that he had just won a lucky draw, earlier in the afternoon, and all that was to be done is to go to the office of the ‘Marketing Company’ to collect the prize. My father frowned when he saw the company’s calling card (just a torn shard indelibly stamped), but he was propelled by my brother’s brimming enthusiasm. Once we got that however, the greeting we received was extraordinary, all the employees stood to greet us, and the ‘boss’ got straight to business, not wanting to waste time. Unfortunately for him, his meaning was lost upon us. We sat dumb founded for a long time trying to catch his words. He spoke so rapidly that I was breathing all his held breath. Seeing how we weren’t buying anything, his second-hand made an appearance.

That fresh scar, coursing the length of his face, drench amply with iodine, gave him away. I saw him in the emergency ward, just a few days ago, complaining that he was unduly beaten up while we was doing ‘business’. Unable to contain myself, and seeing that my time was running out; since my brother was getting tempted by the ‘chance’ of winning a RM 100 000 ++ car by just pitching in RM 3000 to participate in a bigger ‘lucky draw’, I contemplated ways to alert poor father, who was by then shaking his head clouded with worry.

Speaking/ whispering to him would alert those baddies that something was amiss, so for once my mobile turned handy, and I tersely imparted that the only way was to walk away…..

So, the theory does come in handy. Wonder if they would consider it making it a law, just like Murphy’s. But first, we have to meet, share experience, conclude it’s doesn’t occur in isolation, then vote!

Current Music: Bob Marley's No Woman, No Cry

iGallop

2006-08-02T17:36:00.001+01:00

Yeah, baby!

TV tax ridden UK certainly induces one thing, a heightened hunger for the couch potato culture which entails absolute authority of the remote control. Hence, it certainly does make an impression when one of the first adverts you see features 3 Ryder Gals.

No, no, no horses. But for better effect, hot pants and sports bras. 3 gals with virginally white outfits, including the cowboy hats and knee length boots. The perfect exercising gear, eh?

So while 3 cowgirls bob up-down and side-to-side in futuristic exercise room (sorry, not the prairie or the barn), you cannot help but snigger at the mere suggestion.

Taunted to promote taut adductors (that’s the inner thigh muscles girls!), hips and even the abdominal muscles without conscious effort, it also helps to enhance your posture, balance and strength. All the God-given benefits of Hippotherapy. Ask anyone and they will tell you that trotting with iGallop promises more.

The advert worked. It certainly stopped me at my tracks. I mean what happened to that OCD stricken censorship board that makes movies/shows look like they intended for 2 people to move towards each other then suddenly move apart?

Many are afflicted with wonderment, and with that comes divine creativity.

Ever wondered why the advert featured girls rather than guys. No self respecting guy would sit on that thing. It will surely hurt. The seats need modification, perhaps an indention?

I will sit on it! Only if it’s iGallopU.

There’s more, but I’ve made a pledge not to disclose explicit material, verbally or visually on my site.

But, on the hindsight, what ever comes out of the idiot box, I will take it. It’s good to be home!

Current music: Ronan Keating’s The Way You Make Me Feel

One Down, A Million To Go

2006-07-17T17:27:00.000+01:00

10 monts later, for insufficient supplements. But still happy!

Sugar, spice and everything nice; that's Meera for you. Or maybe it was that Bubble Tea...hrm...

Disclaimer : This makes your lungs a mesh of black tar. Trust me, I've seen such lungs.

When I sit next to her, it’s my job. It’s unsaid. It’s assumed. It’s a quiet submission. No questions asked. I submit. I do not question. I do what I have to do.

While she skews left and right. While she dodges here and there. While she crams in and out. While she cries sublime obscenities up and down;

I cradle her bag.

Yes, over the years, I endured many changes; bags do come in different colours, shapes and sizes.

Size: a constant huge
Colour: a constant psychedelic
Shape: a constant edgy

So what’s a variable then, while she cruises along with a match-box peach Kenari and I ashen faced, scream as she maneuvers along the vulgar roads of hurry-burry PJ?

I know the contents of the bag. Dog like loyalty does give you the right to probe, you're with me? Mostly, it’s to stash away that 1 Utama’s parking ticket, or the “Eh your phone’s vibrating!!!!!”, or the Top Gun sunglasses….(was Tom Cruise HOT or what??!), or, let’s not forget, mints…..ummmm……

“Oh!”, was my only response this time. Plus of course I cannot explain in detail my facial expression; that flair for words I do not posses.

Marlboro Lights greeted me this time. And oh! what a surprise it was.

No, no, it’s not like I was in the dark. It was a cultured habit, a phase, “It’ll pass”, she says. She grabs it from me, while I bewilderedly considered my choices.

She lights one, after successfully, turning the radio off and winding the window down. Exposing our hairdo to the breeze of the highway, I still considered my choices. Then, I made it;

“Can I try?”, meekly I asked. I roared in laughter.

She hands me the slim, sexy, angelically white roll. I hold it like a pen.

“Eh! How do you flick?”,
“You don’t need to..”,
“But, I WANT toooooo…..”,
“Hehehhe, wait, hold it proper….underneath the yellow bands, k k, yes, yeah, so use your thumb to flick”,
“There…..wooooHooooo”,
“Now, listen, inhale…..eh eh, not like that, don’t hyperventilate…hehheh, yeah, that’s right. Now do it proper with the fag”,

One long swig, one suspended moment, one tarry breath, one burning sensation, one blackened pesticide laden throat later……..

I coughed, and coughed and coughed….behind laughter and short-lived hysteria.

I horded mints later, my mom shall not know.

So, one down, a million to go.

Current Music: Teddy Geiger’s Confidence.

In Need Of Supervision

2006-05-07T13:53:00.000+01:00

Precisely what she's doing....( Manneiken Pis/ Le Petit Julien )

In hope of wearing every possible traditional costume

Dining in the sole Hooters in UK, except that we were not served topless (damn!)

A picniking we shall go, in Wollaton Park

Look at what she’s been doing. Pissing her life away. While her work piles up, when there’s hours and hours of lectures notes she has to peruse…

She goes out drinking. Her knowledge of intoxicating beverages has immensely improved. No longer does she need to say, “I will have what’s she’s having, please, thank you”,

No longer does she confine herself to her hole, be it early in the semester when exams are a distant possibility, or late, when the same enemy is a constant reminder of Judgment day.

She even shaves her legs, to wear skirts. Yes, she may argue that it’s the season,

“Spring. The season of Fertility, hrm, not so much as summer. Perhaps Reawakening? Better put, am positive. The loins – wait does that word only apply to males? (Should I not know this, considering Moore & Agur’s Clinical Anatomy is permanent fixture of my bookshelf?) – awakes from its fitful dormancy”.

And this, yes, this truncated mind – are we going to trust her with 10 000 Great Britain’s Pounds? The richest Malaysian Soc (possibly a little inferior to Imperial College?), is trusting this demented pulp of a brain to man-handle their purse. Oh, it would not be a surprise if she cites a hole in the pocket if the accounts do not add up.

What can I say about the hours spent on Friendster (pardon my gross exaggeration, but I’m just trying to impress on the fact that this time, she’s hooked, for certain). Ironic that it took 1000 miles away from home to make her realize that perhaps all she wants in a guy is something familiar, uncomplicated.

Her stomach growls, her fridge is freakishly empty, she begs me to feed her.
She spends all the daylight hours wondering if he is doing the same.

Woe, woe, woe. How am I to safe my incongruent half?

In despair with Train’s Meet Virginia.

Wentworth Oggling

2006-04-10T22:12:00.000+01:00

Can't believe this was a year ago, missing you guys loads!

So, my obsession went from Desperate Housewives (promiscuity and subversive feline competitiveness) to One Tree Hill (pubescent and hormonal upheavals) to Prison Break (manliness, utterly).

Yeah, yeah, needless to say, am nursing a crush on the lead star (his name appears second on the credits, but who gives a shit right?). Nowhere in the near future though do I see myself weaning my little fetish.

It’s not that his ‘fit’ (British substitute for hot) – I’ve had far better obsessions, oh yeah, believe me. There’s something about those angular jaws, strong cheek bones, penetrating eyes and mysterious air though. He seems better suited for Calvin Klein’s posters. You know, those topless, hairless, tanned, amply musculatured, white males. It rarely ever escapes though, the faint whiff of effeminacy. Ironic that they usually advertise for perfumes.

Still, don’t allow my mindless randy-ness hinder you from watching the show. It’s great because it’s original. But, at the same time, it’s just improbable. The lead, opps sorry, the supporting male is just too perfect. First he’s written off for his selfless humanitarianism (he gets himself to jail for goodness sake), then a genius. Okay, maybe you’re still unconvinced. His physical predisposition (small framed) is typical of the intellectually unchallenged. How he manages to control thugs within 3 weeks of fraternizing with the jail birds, is mind boggling. If you ask me, he fits better the profile of those that gets beaten into pulp.

Oh well, just watch the show, it’s worth your time, really. Wentworth Miller is a plus point.

p.s - For those who are hooked, he also appears in Mariah’s video clips – It’s Like That and We Belong Together.

Deciphering Marvin Gaye's Sexual healing

Eggs and Holidays

2006-03-21T22:57:00.000Z

Post Malaysian Nite Party - The Thank You Party.

Joint Celebration, Julian's Birthday, 21st.

Current Music: Ronan Keating's Life is a Rollercoaster

Endless Excitement

2006-03-14T01:06:00.000Z

Hypocrisy? A few months ago, this would have been an impossibility. Then again, she’s trying VERY hard. Will tell you, Meera, all about it. Lol. 10th March 2006, Subha’s 21st Birthday.

In the heat of the dressing room excitement - 11th March - Malaysian Nite 2006

Shopping in Derby, in windy January.

The next best picture (no thanks to Saddiq who uploaded the best) of Kelly Clarkson's Gig - 7th March 2006

Current music : India.Arie's Beautiful

Spring, with longing for Summer

2006-03-06T01:56:00.000Z

Living statues are spooky. Here’s one, with River Thames as the backdrop.

Spring’s here. With surprising yellow, purple and white snowdrops pushing pass the eternal green of grass beds. No leaves on trees as yet. Maybe it takes more than sunlight for them to wake up.

The sun rises early here. It’s bright by 6.30a.m, and it causes false alarms where you jump out of bed because the room is too bright for the early morning, mistakenly thinking you’re late for the daily 9 am classes.

It’s beautiful, the clear blue sky. But it’s freezing cold – bloody wind! Here in Notts, there are more snowy days in March relative to December. No worries, we have custard to cure chilled bones. Custard with everything called puddings, and mind you, almost any dessert is referred to as pudding here. From gateaux (cake in French) to pavlovas (fluffy whipped cream balls stuffed with fruits).

But, time moves too quickly here. Summer will come too soon to carry me home, which thank goodness am no longer lounging for with the intensity well above alarming/ disease causing.

Busy, busy, busy. From Monday to Friday, in the sickening maze of a med school we have. Don’t bother asking me what my weekends are like. Give me 2 weeks notice. Studying now is a choice, not a necessity? Am I deteriorating, or just growing up?

Current music: Jamie Cullum's Everlasting love (OST -Bridget Jones' Diary: The Edge of Reason)

Pancake Day

2006-03-01T02:00:00.000Z

Night time from Millennium Bridge, London

That was yesterday – technically.
1 day before Lent.
1 day of indulgence prior to..abstinence?
Pancakes with bacon, sugar and lime juice, strawberry, honey, maple syrup, Ben & jerry’s?

What am I giving up? Chocolates? That’s suicide. It’s not so much religious compliance, (not even a Christian, for goodness sake), it’s more cost-effective. Less money spent on double chocolate ship cookies. It’s not only heavenly pleasing, the absence of nutritional values, hence calories, makes it even more desirable.

Eating has become more than a necessity nowadays. Who could have known that it’s common to end up ravishing after 3 hours of dissecting smelly, embalmed cadavers? Maybe it’s the graceful, pressure-less, sliding of the scalpel? Perhaps the rushed, brutal scrapping of fatty layers from uncooperative rotund corpses? Or maybe because it’s an excusable diversion from studying?

Oh well, brain saturated with anatomy. Can’t you tell? I’m having a paddy (cockney English for mood).

Good luck with Lent people. There’s always the hollow chocolate easter eggs to look forward to!

Current music: Savage garden’s I knew I loved you.

Pickled Grapes

2006-01-18T21:32:00.000Z

So much for roads named after flowers eh? [Bristol]

It’s the anniversary of the lousiest decision I ever made.

That might be overtly dramatic – time, life transforms every ‘wrong’ step into a ‘defining’ one. If I’m prattling nonsensically, do forgive me. It’s 2 more days to exams that I barely care about.

Am doing everything but study. And you might say what a bad time to indulge in ‘extra curricular activities’.

Healty Addiction – Gorging raisins (by that I mean 500g daily)

‘Grey Area’ Addiction – One Tree Hill, dinner parties, recipe google-ing, paperback, paperbacks and more paperbacks!

Bad Addiction – errrr……my flatmates boyfriend? I like the way he treats her. That’s it. I swear!

When will this end? This being exams.

Sigh sigh sigh

Current music: TLC’s Diggin’ on you

At Long Last

2006-01-07T11:54:00.000Z

Cabot Tower - Summer winds in Bristol's winter (19th of Dec)

Back when an autumn coat just right.

With reference to Queer Stuff For The Wondering Mind.

Who would have thought, almost a year later, half the world away, and the answer is incredibly simple.

Fact – women do fart during sex
Logic – it’s not weird, it’s not even her fault
Science – contact, cyclical pumping in the vagina during sex causes air to be drawn in

Of course, it’s a one way route in there – the vagina. The air has to come out.

Hence, you have Fanny Farts.

Wallah!

Current music:Jaclyn Victor’s (yes! The Malaysian Idol) Di Bawah Pohon Asmara
(A SMASHING jazz number)

5 into 2006

2006-01-05T14:31:00.000Z

Party ravages on the 31st

Scenario
-window glazed with condensed water droplets
-unmade bed
-study table piled with lecture notes – untouched
-side table – dirty dishes
-noiseless – except for whining radio presenters

Activities
-day dreaming
-reading The Time Traveler’s Wife
-eating
-watching House MD, One Tree Hill
-missing home
-missing my flatmates (am I nuts or what?!)
-waiting for Orange’s Wednesday deal next week – to watch Brokeback Mountain
-eating
-NOT studying
-day dreaming
-eating
-imagining my next out of Notts trip
-hoping to pass – with flying colours – afterthought: am no longer hardworking
-eating
-wistful thinking – got to lose the fat accumulated during Christmas and Birthday celebration

Conclusion – WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?!

Current music: Jason Mraz’s Song for a friend

Planned But Not Really

2005-12-27T23:07:00.000Z

The Bridge of Sigh above New College Lane.

Care for a Bath?

Shuttled from Bristol, Bath and Oxford in 4 days. Each city distinct from each other. It’s surprising how different people are. Something I thought I would never be able to pick up, what not being just 3 months in a whole new world. Bus drivers tell you a lot about the people in the city I suppose. With that, Notts tops all the other 3 in terms of friendliness.

Enough about people. Highlights of Bath are the unmistakable Roman Bath and the posh Victorian architecture of the residential area. Since it’s the birth place of Jane Austen, Bath pays homage to its very own literary genius. There’s a costume museum displaying costumes worn in films adapted from her novels. Min Ying and I had a go with corsets, available to be worn by visitors.

Bristol is damn hilly. Serve me right for not believing her when she said it was. Don’t lug heavy bags when traveling in Bristol by foot. We trudged uphill, mind you a very steep one, only to find Cabot Tower shut. According to Min Ying, a student in Bristol Uni, it’s the best place to see the whole of Bristol. It’s a bigger town compared to Notts, with better high streets and Wisteria Lane like houses only more formidable looking. The city itself is neither new nor world, since a lot of it was destroyed in air raids of WW2; most of its buildings are reconstructed. But Bristol Cathedral is a must see of course.

We got lucky in Oxford. Asyraf met up with his Sunway mate who’s in Trinity College. Hence, we entered the dining hall of Corpus Christi – yups! the dining hall in all the Harry Potter movies. We also went to the pub frequented by J.R.R Tolkien and C.S Lewis – The Eagle & Child. It’s said that Tolkien challenged Lewis to write a book about Christianity that would sell, and he did, with the Narnia series.

Christmas was amazing simply because it was totally unplanned. I got invited by a family in Grantham (birth place of Isaac Newton) to spend Christmas with them. Ended up spending the night there. Woke up on Boxing Day to watch the annual Hound in Belvoir Castle and its surrounding area. Traditionally hounds would round up foxes but not anymore since it’s banned. We saw Princess Diana’s sister on horseback – horses are used to lead the hounds.

All in all, it was good to experience the traditional British family life. I still haven’t done my boxing day shopping and yes, the studying for January exams. Also, how do you study when you see snow for the first time?

Not to late to say Merry Christmas everyone!

Current music: John Legends’s Ordinary people

Minnie and Me in Lyme

2005-12-04T19:25:00.000Z

The reading room's mince pie party; Pretty Padmini and 2 cool grannies.

St. Margaret's tenor's belting out Sinatra's My Way after choir practise.

All Saint's stained window.

The city centre.

Lake near Minnie's place.

Us reliving our picture-taking-crazy-days.

My growing frustration at the futility of working caused more than rattled spirits and eye-bags. It was timely then, that the last blow I received was quickly remedied by a weekend break. I left med school for the bus stop that took me to the train station where I gratefully left Nottingham.

The train ride wasn’t relaxing, but I was looking forward for something better - to meet Padmini after nearly 3 months in Newcastle-Under-Lyme, as Luke puts it “the wrong Newcastle”. UK has 2 Newcastles as it turns out.

Minnie met me at the train station in Stoke-On-Trent. We sat in the vicar’s ancient car that chose that precise day to be cranky. Barry, the vicar talked to the car the entire journey to Madeley, a village just outside the city centre. Padmini stayed in a house that was formerly the sorting room of the old post office. She has been working in Madeley as a Richfield volunteer teaching kids and actively participating in church activities.

When we got to her house, we sipped on a lame imitation of the teh halia – Ginger Lemon Tea and ran through my journey and planned the next 1.5 days without any success. We then dined on Chicken Tikka and Cous Cous before choir practice in St. Margaret’s church.

It felt like being in a story. The church was at least 500 years old, the cemetery in front of it glistened eerily with the yellow street lamps and had tablets of people long gone more than 100 years ago. Inside however had the warmth I never felt in med school. I joined in the practice. Singing in an unnatural high pitch voice for more than 2 hours can leave you breathless and knackered.

We got home and decided to watch the 6-hour long tele production of Pride and Prejudice Britain is crazy over, featuring its darling Colin firth. We managed 3 hours, stuffing ourselves with digestive biscuits and raisins – a passion we both shared since our KDU days. Of course, we ended that Friday by recapping the past year, exchanging news about much missed mates.

Scones were the highlight for breakfast. Geared now for a day of walking and window shopping, we left knowing we had only 1 day to make the most of. Took the bus that passed through Keele University. It’s very much like Nottingham University, except newer. The city itself was accommodating, with the weekend crowd and open market. We entered shops looking for a green cardigan Minnie had been pining over for sometime now. Had my first McFlurry since coming here while exchanging news about our barren love life.

Visiting town won’t be complete without entering Poundland, Boots, Sainsbury and other popular student shops. Mended our aching legs by watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Good movie, watch it, it’s not about possessions and 360° head turns, it’s about faith.

When we got home, we managed only 2 out of the 3 remaining hours of Pride and Prejudice with Minnie having dozed half way through. It was an early night for us, rightly so, the next day was all business.

Attended 2 services – at St. Margaret’s and All Saints’. One of which was an extra special one. Perfect timing I would say, I came to during Madeley during its Christangle celebration. It’s an early Christmas celebration for the kiddies. Intended to be a fund raising activity throughout England for children, its more festivities than business to everyone. Everyone took home a christangle – a red sashed orange stuck with a candle flanked by candy threaded on tooth picks.

Orange – world
Red tape – blood of Christ
Candle – Light
Tooth pick-ed candy – fruits of the world

We then went to the reading room for mince pies and Mulled Wine, a warm concoction of red wine boiled with cinnamon, ginger and other spices – Heavenly! Mingled with Minnie’s peers – the elderly. Such nice people they were, a lot more accepting and welcoming, all this providing me relief from the nonchalant student community I’m accustomed to.

After lunch at the vicar house, we rushed with goodbyes and thank you-s. I got on the train with Emma, the vicar daughter, who’s on her way to Cambridge.

One great, relaxing weekend. 2 more weeks till the winter hols. 6 months till I see Minnie again, this time in M’sia. Miss you already girl.

Current music: Guy Sebastian’s What a wonderful world

A Different View

2005-12-01T07:36:00.000Z

Clumber Park

Major Oak
Saddiq's Crib

Finally went to see Saddiq’s crib in Sutton Bonnington despite being in Notts for 2 months and a little more. First thing I noticed - more like whiffed, Cow dung! No offence to Saddiq dear but I think he couldn’t smell it simply because he’s actually living there. Nice, quaint place. No need to walk for miles like we do in University Park (main campus) - which means kinder waking up hours.

Latt met us on the bus to Loughborough. We then went off to town to catch Harry Potter. Am I the only one who thinks it’s dull? Nothing much to shout about. By the time the movie was done, it was dark and freezing cold outside. I was wearing 4 layers that day – freaky. Have to add – Latt must be the first to acquire the Brit accent!

Sunday found me with RamSoc, walking 20 km in Sherwood Forest. Yes, that’s where Robin Hood and his merry men pranced about in tights. Common misconception – Sherwood Forest is NOT in Nottingham. We started the walking along the lake in Clumber Park – a beautifully landscaped place.

The forest itself was dreary. How can I compare it with a tropical forest right? Good thing it didn’t rain, but it was downcast the whole way through. The walk ended in a pleasant town called Edwinstowe. Their local version of Victoria’s Secret (the lingerie shop) is called Maid Marion’s Secret.

We had to see Major Oak – the legendary meeting point of Hood and his men before looting the rich to give to the poor. The oak is so old that they have to support it with stiles. Sad, really.

It was worth every sore blister on my feet. What’s more, met a German, Greda who allowed me to sample Stuffed Rice in Vine Leaf – a Turkish dish and invited me to Berlin.

Current Music: Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman’s Someday we’ll know – OST A Walk To Remember

Post Mortem

2005-11-20T16:44:00.000Z

So, to reiterated, Notts M’sian Games was great. Met many former college mates, much to my delight. It didn’t matter that my shift as a first aider in the futsal pitch stretched longer than it should (had the added bonus of witnessing a fight close-up) and that my fingers were so numb I couldn’t even open a band aid. Had one heck of day, which ended with me being horribly self-conscious when I had to feed 3 hungry souls. Thank god there wasn’t time to cook something. Just stuffed them with sandwiches and hot chocolate – the perfect life.

Work wise – had a lecture on STDs – sexually transmitted disease. What was interesting was the pictures. Lol, yeah, sick of me. But the whole lecture theater ‘felt’the pain and misery of having diseased and unsightly private parts. Can’t wait for dissection to start!

Current music: Chaka Khan’s Aint nobody

Notts M'sian Games

2005-11-13T14:36:00.000Z

3 lads in my room to prove to my flatmates that 'I've a life at night'.
LIYANA, whom I hugged 3 times.
Happy KDU reunion.
Poser peace sign.

Badminton nerves for Luke and Zhi Xin.

Current Music: Stevie Wonder's Lately

Gunpowder Plot

2005-11-06T08:21:00.000Z

Time passes to quickly here, it’s no surprise I suppose. Bogged down with work and what not with the mandatory 30 minute walk to get to the Med School from Broadgate (my residence). It’s not that bad really, but the weather is more troublesome than you would imagine. Bloody blistering wind, you can even hear it howl at times. It’s disheartening that it’s not winter yet, because you know it’ll only get colder.

As for events, Diwali (North Indian way of saying Deepavali) and Eid (Hari Raya) came and went – and as you would guess – too quickly. Substituted the annual outing to the temple with a prayer meeting whose highlight was the sweets distribution. Mainly of the North Indian variety, but hey, whose complaining. As for Eid, it’s a bigger celebration among the Malay community in Loughborough. With a much higher proportion of Malay postgrades, Saddiq and gang, who are based in Sutton Bonnington are booked for nearly a month with all the open houses they have got to attend. It’s almost unbelievable – he visited 12 open houses in 1 day! Imagine how Rendand-saturated he is. Sigh, if only he thought of getting some kuih for me…

Nottingham has been witnessing random fireworks (as far as the international students were concerned) for 2 weeks now. Turns out that it’s in conjunction with Bonfire Night - to remember Guy Fawkes and his gang’s failed attempt at blowing up the House of Parliament (The Gunpowder Plot). A couple of us headed down to the Forest Recreational Park to witness the biggest fireworks display in town. It was decent – the fireworks but the bonfire lighting was peculiar, don’t know how else to describe it. They decided to burn down an entire mock ferris wheel that took 1 week to build. No clue as to why there were swans on it

Since we wanted to get back home via the free shuttle bus, we had almost 2 hours to waste after Bonfire Night. Instead of taking the tram back to Old Market Square in the city centre, we walked all the way back. Caught a glimpse of the night life in Nottingham City, yes, it’s been more than a month and I have not yet seen the night life….sad… We saw all the clubs that the locals keep mentioning and finally spotted the Nottingham Trent University. It’s an entire separate university, based in the city itself.

So there, that’s 2 weeks in a glimpse. But am honestly anticipating and entry by next Sunday, what not with the biggest inter-university games – The Malaysian Nottingham Games coming up on the 12th of November. Can’t wait to see friends from afar….and yeah, am going to be a first aider. Yippie!!!

Current Music: Sheila Majid’s Ratu

Overviews

2005-10-23T12:22:00.000+01:00

GP visit

A grand rift from the usual insignificant ‘warming up the lecture theater’s chairs’ sessions, of which am dozing of regularly. I have a reason to believe that I’ve become a nocturnal mammal once more. Was suppose to be a silent observer, but it was nice experiencing ‘real’ medicine once more. We’re currently still stuck in ‘refreshing’ details of a-levels biology but somewhat bullet train speed biochemistry uploads. Sigh…work load increasing.

To stay in context, GP visit was fantastic. My GP was nice. She pointed important issues and none of the patients refused my presence in the room during the consultations. Thankfully there wasn’t a single case of cough and flu - the usual ‘clinic illnesses’. Most of the patients were elderly, so you have osteoporosis, infirmity, hypertension….along the geriatrics line to keep it simple.

Surprisingly there was a termination of pregnancy case, and am still wondering why the GP refused in any instant to refer to the case as being an abortion. I should look it up.

Formal Dinner

It never will make sense why we have to be decked up to have dinner in the hall itself. But yeah, it was worth it. The guys were smart and good looking – they suit-ed up you see. Food was so-so and it ended all too quickly.

Link Party

Something the Notts Malaysian’s Society is proud of – getting seniors and juniors in a group to discuss life and how to get through it cheaply – no thanks to the conversion rate – arg! More free food. Fried rice, murtabak – more soggy and flimsy than I remember it to be, kuih bakar and chicken.

All in all – a better week, considering I don’t refresh my Yahoo Mail page every half and hour to find an email from home. And yes, it’s definitely colder in Nottingham. Sunshine is a privilege!

Current music: Gavin Degraw’s cover version of Let’s get it on – originally sung by Marvin Gay

4 Shots of Vodka and a Goose Fair Later

2005-10-09T03:15:00.000+01:00

Had my hall’s tutorial dinner on Wednesday. It was a Twister Paper. Yes, the game where forms get contorted and laughed about later. Much to my happiness, we didn’t have to play the game. The food was exquisite, needless to say. Green Thai Curry, Briyani Rice, Garlic Naan, Blue Jelly, Banana Custard, and some miscellaneous fruits. After dinner was done, we started playing dinner table games. In an effort to blend in, I was game enough for it. The games were simple yeah, but it was all new to me. There was ‘Gentlemen’s Game of 21’ and ‘some frog jumping into the pond and splash’ or the other. Point is I sucked at it. The penalty? Neat shots of Vodka.

4 times dude! 4! And I never had shots before in my entire life. After 4 I got pretty scared of doing something undignified, so yeah, I ran away. Might I add, there was a class scheduled at 9 the next morning. I had no intention to miss classes nursing a hangover on my first official Uni week. But, hey, it was quite an experience. For the record, am not a fan of vodkas, doubt I will ever be.

The next day, Thursday, we, the Notts M’sia Society went to the Goose Fair. Supposedly the oldest fair in the country. It was a regular fair, except there wasn’t Nasi Lemak, Laksa, Kuih, Satay or Ramli Burger. It was jumbo sized Hotdogs, chocolates, candied apples, fudges, doughnuts, candy flosses and some rides - lame, in comparison to Genting Highlands. Had fun though. Running around and watching guys play games just to win a soft toy for girls they were courting for the night.

Those were the highlights. On a minor note, an eye-candy bumped into our gig held in my room. He plays the saxophone. How yummy is that?!

p.s - My tagboard can't be view thanks to the Uni's server. Feel free to leave a comment. Thanks Meera, for reading my tags and posting a reply for me. Muax!

Current Music: James Brown's Play that funky music white boy

One Week

2005-10-02T15:06:00.000+01:00

Monday
Was awake by 6 but the fire alarm blared at 7. Everyone was so groggy, cranky and had dried sliver froth on their face. All sorts of pjs and some guys were topless – woohoooo! By chance found out that I had to go to the med school, for some unknown reason. Thank god for the alarm! Day ended at 5.00 p.m with registration.
p.s – fire alarm caused by burned toast.

Tuesday
Bloody hell! 2 days in a row. This must be a joke, but it isn’t funny waking us up with fire alarms. But anyway, why do we have to get to med school to take pictures at 9.00 a.m?

Wednesday
Had a blood test done. Apparently my vein moved while the needle pierced the skin, so it started bleeding. “That will bruise”. Yeah, of course, thanks. Collected my ID badge to be used in the hospital. Freaky, it seems the public attack the staff fairly often.
Suffered serious homesickness. Blending in isn’t easy dudes. All the home students talk about is booze and parties. Week one for the freshers ain’t helping too. The whole country is partying till they end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. Anyway, after dinner, boarders of Florence Boot Hall – the none pub-goers had a jamming session in the hall’s library. Lucky thing I brought my guitar.
p.s – Nottingham has the second highest crime rate in UK. Rejoice!

Thursday
First lecture, yeay! While everyone else is enjoying Week One (includes waking up at noon), we had to get to med school. A treat for the first year’s – all classes start at 9.00 a.m. In the evening, 6 of us took a taxi and to town and watched Pride & Prejudice. Kiera Knightly churned out her role fairly well.

Friday
Free morning. Classes don’t start till 2 p.m. Hurrah! Ran of to the Portland Building for Nottingham Malaysian Society’s meeting. Was unusually happy to see other Malaysians. Couldn’t stop talking Rojak (English+Malay). I miss that so much. Glorious evening. Ended it with a familiar menu – Mee Hoon Goreng and some kuih.

Saturday
Tried to study, heh! After dinner, watch School of Rock with hall mates.

Sunday
Woke up late and was caught with my out-of-the-bed-face by friends. Gobbled down breakfast and practically ran to the bus stop in front of Cavendish Hall. First rambling outing with RamSoc (Rambling Society). We walked for 9.5 miles, from Dovedale to Hartington. We passed farms; dung was a constant companion, flat lands and the Dove River. I got some action by slipping on some mud. Poor trainers are done for. Must get walking boots; will come in handy during winter too. Completely flaked out. Class at 9 tomorrow. Shit!

Current Music: Bon Jovi's Have a nice day

From The Other Side Of The World

2005-09-24T17:53:00.000+01:00

Greetings from Nottingham!!!

After a 13 hour flight that left my legs cramp and my back battered (it didn’t help that the couple next to me were rubbing their aching limbs for each other), I reached Manchester only to be taken on a coach ride to Nottingham. Tried my very best to stay awake, but I dozed out due to exhaustion. Hence, missed the country side, but it was night by the time I got to the Uni.

Oh well, had a very tiring week. Tour around the whole University Park Campus, which includes the medical school and QMC(Queen Medical Centre) with dearest Saddiq. He’s really good with maps. We had loads of fun. We finally went Hunk Huntin’. Cool dude, that Saddiq. He rated all my subjects judiciously. And he can really dance! We went barn dancing and did monkey business most of the time.

He’s gone to Sutton Bonnington now, a good 12 miles away. I’m in Florence Boot Hall, in University Park itself. An old hall. Incidentally, am the only Malaysian I think. So yeah, going to have to say “Heyya” instead of the “Hello”.

Home students, meaning the Brits are suppose to be arriving tomorrow. The campus isn’t really full right now. No idea what to expect. Hope we get to blend in nicely.

Until the next post then. Like I promised, this is a picture of the Trent Building. And yes, it’s bright and sunny here. It’s bloody cold anyway. Ironic, but am walking, sitting and spending most of my time under the sun instead of staying in the shade like I use to back home. I am after all on the other side of the world.

Current Music: Verve Pipe's The freshmen

Exodus

2005-09-19T12:47:00.000+01:00

Reckon this will be my last post written in scorching hot Malaysia.
To keep things short and since I'm bad at words, worse still gestures, so here goes;

Au revoir people. Take good care of yourselves. I expect to see fattened friends by the time I return (if I ever come back, heh!). Do keep in touch, I will be ever glad to be. So, yeah, god bless and be good ya.

Cheers!

Kutu-Malam Failures

2005-09-11T17:33:00.000+01:00

Under strict instruction to stay in Coffee Bean (oh yeah right) we, of course sneaked off. With a hundred things that we could do, never mind the possibilities, we wandered in the night. We set foot at 7.00 p.m. We decided to head home by 8.30 p.m.

Pathetic numb heads we were. We entered Metrojaya two times, the first time oh which we got kicked out since I was eating ice-cream (sweet tooth, I have, heh!). When we couldn’t quite decide what we wanted to do inside, we stood near the automatic doors and contemplated what to do next.

“Too bad…No pubs here...”
“Er, can’t go in right….got to be 21….but we look like it anyway...”
“No lah, not you…”
"[Eh, really??]"

Truth is, there must have been pubs around Jaya….somewhere. But we, with untrained eyes just didn’t know where to look.

So, we fiddled with the camera…to disastrous consequences. We reached the conclusion that the only way we could look good is to pose next to a dustbin. The results, oh well, see for yourself.

Current music: Crowded Houses’ Don’t dream its over.

BO Dude!

2005-09-05T11:35:00.000+01:00

Am in a foul mood today (no thanks to a chance encounter with a moron…), so am going to let the picture do the talking. And as usual, I look like CRAP!

Taken during a happier time…I fell in love with ‘the wall’ of mosaics in 1 Utama. Somehow managed to coerce Meera into posing with me. Yah, its bimbo-tic – to quote Aveena, but hey, at least I know what the walls in my future humble dwelling will be.

To recap things on that eventful Tuesday:

Ate at TGI Fridays with Aveena, Eunice, Meera and our guy friend Saddiq, who unfortunately ripped his Dockers as he was about to hop into Meera’s car. Unsuspected by us, he lapsed into some discreet groin checking and spent the entire day in some paranoid reality where the main highlight was balls-flashing. Thanks to Eunice who vetoed a round of bowling, you managed to save any semblance of dignity you have. Dude, don’t fret or fuss, you’re by far more dignified than some odour donating member of your gender.

Strange isn’t it, how life never lets your forget. Was stuffed in a room that was wafting horrible, horrible BO today. The horror. Spent the first 30 minutes listening to others bursting with self-importance then spent the next 30 minutes bursting with self-importance myself. Life, heh!

Current music: Non-Blondes’ What’s going on.

Week's Roundup

2005-08-27T16:44:00.000+01:00

A long overdue post, better get right to it then!

Monday
Went to the Notts office (affectionally abbreviated, it’s Nottingham in its entirety) and with a faint distaste received news that a girl I don’t quite fancy – thanks to her paper-pusher attitude is coming to the same U as well. Better grit my teeth and move along. Am pretty sure there will be a host of other obnoxious people I would be physically examining.

Tuesday
As part of my quest to get my hands on anything unconventional, I found myself in the company of ex-SA-ains (yes, that bratty, snotty, snobby girl school – Sri Aman). What exactly were we doing? ROCK CLIMBING!! WOOooooooHOoooooo!

And how was it? Blasted time we had there. But I shan’t forget to mention, am still having trouble removing my t-shirt without feeling the pain of torn muscles and limbs. What can I say dude, am a weakling, that I am.

Must add though, that there were some rather arresting facts about my buddies during ‘pebble climbing’ as aptly put by Yuen.
Dharshy aka Ducky has become quite hug-gy.
Min ‘Napoleon’ Ying (if I remember well, her name means a hero of some sort) is still that know-all gal that is an absolute can-do-all. Didn’t change a bit. Even if she did, it’s for the better.
Yuen, was a winner with my kid brother. No brainer this one – she’s the proud sister of a brood of young brothers. (Is it 2 or 3?)
Paav (Paavitha, the holiness) still is very much that prim and proper thing she was. She called it quits when she tasted her burger that she had for lunch after 2 hours of climbing.

Wednesday
P.J was burning hot! Didn’t stop me from driving all the way to K.L to get a discount card done.

Thursday
Don’t bother asking them, guards of KLCC anything. Thanks to their helpfulness, I had to fork out $3.50 to get to Wisma MCA. Could have easily walked and saved myself that scary cab ride. The cabbie thought I was a foreigner. Dungu didn’t realize I was speaking Bahasa all the while.

Friday
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka……..(singing to the tune). The movie was so much fun. I clapped when it ended. Yah, driven to that state of excitement. Heh!
And those Oompa-Loompas. Ah so adorable. Uh, that guy they made multiple clones of, well you can catch him in his single self in Big Fish, another quite eccentric movie, of that same genre. He’s really a dwarf, smaller than Danny DeVito.

Saturday
Finally collected my luggage. Had a very odd, float-ish joy when I rolled it home. Upon inspection, realized I can actually fit myself in it, IF I tried resolutely, that is.

Sunday
That’s tomorrow. And so, it’s a mystery. Hah! Reckon I will read a book, plan my next week and watch TV.

Current music: Edwin McCain’s I’ll be the greatest man in your life

Monumental

2005-08-18T06:45:00.000+01:00

Leaving soon, so soon. Cliché to say it’s too soon, but at times it is. Then again, I would wonder it’s just not soon enough.

Not surprising though that I’m basically running around a lot these days. Doing this, that and what not. Eaten by the nomadic bug, and looking at my personal possessions, I am actually very light footed. Eerie at the amount of things that I would rather keep in memory than to carry them around – for that tangible quality.

One thing I have to commit to memory – FOOD. At least the food my gastronomic system is used to.

Rather than doing what is sensible – learning how to cook - I can’t bring myself to wear an apron and participate in the potentially dangerous activity, I’m gorging myself with any desserts I can find, a task of monumental importance, I would say.

Just finished a box of moon cakes, YUMMY. And every time I go for tosai I end the meal by lapping up all the Indian desserts I fancied since I was a kid.

Haven’t managed to get hold of Lemang – obviously out of season. Pulut – god, don’t go there. I have avoided it as much as I crave for it – my waist has thickened to such an extent I don’t want to reveal.

Dodol – ah….where to find you sticky, gummy, sweet heavenly ball I eventually roll you into.

Funny, I have a million pictures in my head of all the colourful, sweet delights, but I can’t conjure their names. Sad right, a Malaysian I call myself.

What’s it called – that green popiah like thing with browned coconut innards?

Ah – the spicy, hot Pulut Udang. Must go to Pasar Malam man.

I better stop. Extreme gluttony can be very gross.

Current music: Wacko Jacko’s Do you remember.

p.s – Nottingham made me an offer and I’m pleased to announce I'm delightfully taking it up!! YEAY!!!! Finally got to their heads I’m more than worthy. Stupid fools.
That buys me more time, will be leaving on the 20th instead of the 8th of September. More time to Gorge!!!!!

Bleugh.....

2005-08-14T01:49:00.000+01:00

Chickened out of a public speaking presentation once when I was 10. 9 years later, I redeemed myself, by facing – god knows how many – 500 people - to blabber away, aware the entire time of my drying sliver, back pain, blistering feet, fever, worsening sore throat, trembling voice and finally, the knowledge I was going to stutter at strategic points.

The crowd was a blur, couldn’t locate any familiar face, (trust me, this wasn’t a symptom of fear, but hey, don’t blame me, I only had 7 coursemates to back me up. Oh, have to add, some came, much later, just to eat, and to see if their book prizes was still theirs. It’s ironic then that I was delivering the valedictorian speech. The point was lost – entirely.

Yes, shouldn’t have done it. But, hey, lots of things have been a case of ‘shouldn’t have but I did it anyway’. Crappy, I know.

Since, the speech was wasted; I’m going to immortalize it, by publishing it – in my blog. Read it, if you may, since none cared to hear anyway – heh!

Current music: Ain't no mountain high enough (Marvin Gay and Tammi Terrell's version/ OST-Stepmom)

****

A beautiful day to celebrate a hallmark in our life and to be graced by dignitaries in doing so, is a priceless gift indeed. I, Bathmapriya Balakrishnan, representing the graduating class of 2005 from the School of Pre-Universities Studies, would like to extend a warm welcome to …………………blah blah blah…

Today, fellow friends, we find ourselves so strangely garbed. Lurking in the recesses of my memory, I find myself, albeit a shy 6-year-old, picture stilled with the same attire. I walked timidly on stage, to receive a scroll - A scroll from the kindergarten principal. Now, 13 years later, I am about to do the same. But, today, I am here with you, and that would make all the difference. Balancing anxiety with sheer euphoria, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for being given the opportunity to speak on such a momentous day.

Fellow graduates,

Behind white picket fences of steel, rising tall, a mammoth structure, the blue and yellow KDU fortress rises tall. Despite its indomitable presence, it's not so much what, but who that makes this college KDU.
The center of gravity, the hub of activity and camaraderie is none other than the orange hued cafeteria. Although being at the mercy of our Hotel and Tourism mates, affectionately known as H & T - where we are blatantly used as guinea pigs for their culinary experiments, we can safely say that we are merely sampling the wares of soon-to-be-professional-chefs. The cafeteria would be amiss without the grace of Soraya, a half Javanese who is ever radiant and her dexterous crew. Everyone here today will have a sack-full of memories - almost all our socializing have been done over countless breakfasts, lunches and teas. Who can forget the free newspapers provided for our perusal and the music video clips on MTV while we chatter away our time, bonding and strengthening our friendship with each other?

Go up two floors, and there we greet the convenient Computer Center, available to all of us, thanks to their long opening hours. The Assistants there are always on their toes, repairing, improving and accommodating us with exuberance and enthusiasm. Just like how the KDU building underwent a face-lift - the paint job that transformed the gray-cream coloured walls to the cheery yellows and blues it is now, the printing facility at the center never ceases in its development. During my stint as a student helper, my shift went from back-breaking-always-on-my-feet to the easy 1-2-3-steps-print-yourselves. Whenever confronted with a laud student, Ivan, my supervisor would ease my worries away with an anecdote. "Don't fuss over I-D-10-Ts", he would say, which simply means idiots. The constant improvement at the center eventually made it user friendly. I know not one student who doesn't use the center on a daily basis, be it to print crisp assignment papers or to simply update themselves with breaking news.
Fellow friends,

What is an institution of higher learning without a library? On the 3rd floor, the library sits, spanning a large area, teeming with books and inquisitive students. On a rare occasion, my friends and I switched our halos with sharp, pointed horns. We played a prank by creating a placard with KDU's famous motto - "Driving Dreams" with minor, lewd alterations of course - our form of a welcoming present to the freshmen undergoing their orientation tour. We, however, never got the nerve to display it, since the tour was lead by Ms. Malina - the strictest librarian in KDU. If she was strict, there was also the student sympathizer - Ms. Judy. She would gently remind regular library users on their over-due books. Ms. Judy with her nyonya long braids also does something else - matchmaking, and a successful one at that.

Dearest friends,

As the sun rose today, along with it disappeared the mist on a long winding road. Suprisingly, we find ourselves at Carrefour. A departmental store you say? Carrefour of course, means a crossroad in French. We shall not make the mistake of pigeonholing this auspicious ceremony as the beginning of an end. Rather, let us take a moment to realign our bearings. Before a long journey, one stops to pack. Likewise, let us meticulously spread our past before us prior to saddling it up on our shoulders.

KDU's forte or it seems lies in its teaching staff. Although one judges a lecturer's credibility by his credentials, most students hunt for something discreet - his pedagogical tenure. I can proudly attest to the fact that we are not only provided with the best of the crop, our lecturers are an inspiring lot too. Mathematical Mechanics would not be interesting at all if not for the motherly and adorable Ms. Loh. Thank you, Ms. Sathya for teaching us how to think again for a dismal subject that everyone else laughs about - Thinking Skills. Chemistry, the wicked twist that Mr. Andrew Wong made of it. We were fed with a hearty dose of the kaleidoscopical mixture of chemistry and its daily applications as well as chemical equations. We would all affectionately remember you, sir, for your tasteful ties - your dearest wife's contribution of course. My personal favourite - the midnight blue iridescent number from Salvatore Ferragamo. Mr. Warren Lau, now semi-retired, still tickles us with his quirky dress sense. I for one, have adopted your famous line 'Everyday is a good day' as my mantra. Operating as Fishtail in the blogging world, your omnipresent zest has made many of us bloggers as well. Mr. Anand and his interpretation of the law is as much news as CNN can bring. Keep waving like it's a SOS call, sir! Teddy Bear Mr. Anuar who dances Saturday Night Fever in an attempt to imprint in us the different shapes of graphs. Teeny-weeny Ms. Chee that interrupts our wayward banters with a high pitch call of attention. I must not exclude the ang-pow giving generous principal, Dr. Chia. A fantastic bunch, all of them!

We all came here for technical knowledge, a jump-start for our future careers. We got just that, but we will leave with wisdom too. Thanks to the fleet of ever smiling and approachable teaching staff, our bubble of naiveté so carefully cultured in our childhood was pricked. Here we are in the real world, and who better to usher us into it than our lecturers? Food never tasted better, light never seemed brighter and adventure was never before this inviting. Speaking on behalf of all my peers, thank you.

Fellow graduates,

Standing here before you, I would like to propose a toast, a toast of appreciation. Cheers to those that listened, cheers to those that shared their joy, cheers to those we shoved during a basketball game, cheers to those that we competed against and cheers to those that teased and pushed us on. Kudos to all those that made our life the way it should be because there is just no other way.

In all this merry making, it would be blasphemous to discount our folks. Remember those dark dawn hours, when tired hands hurriedly tied our white shoelaces. How about 'look left, right and then left again before crossing the road'? I will not forget the mouth-watering of my home-cooked lunch and the wet Sunday morning car washes. We will all be eternally indebted to our parents - for their endless support, guidance and most importantly for their faith in us.

Coming from a middle-class family, I dare say, I was born to materialise a dream, a dream handed down generation after generation - that is simply to breakaway from a vicious cycle. Education took precedence, trampling other activities along the way that were considered simply too 'bourgeois', for only the rich can afford those luxuries. Art, literature, music, theater - all these were considered as mere hobbies, not something ideal to pursue fervently as a career. 19 years down the road, my knowledge of the real world may be limited. But, I would rather work on something I chose, rather than what that is expected of or dictated to me. It is utterly pointless to hide behind a façade, then regret it later when we are old and withered. Be true to yourself, chart your territory, but do it your way. When all is done, let us look back at the flotsom-and-jetsom of our life with relish. Remember dear friends "He, who will not reason, is a bigot, he who cannot, is a fool, and he, who dares not, is a slave."

To the graduating class of 2005, go out there and do it true!

Thank you.

****

Smokey Eyes

2005-08-10T19:30:00.000+01:00

Two guards rudely waved at me to get out of the compound. I, of course ignored them. Can't I even drop my brother in school? As soon as lil' bro opened his door, Babu grabbed the door (the nerve of him!) and started rambling. I went on the defensive, but stopped when I finally understood what was being said.

School was closed. Haze was too thick. Kids might suffocate and plop down in the middle of the a lesson.

Bro smugly sat in the car. I turned to look at him. There, that smile of satisfaction. Anger shot through me.

I spent the greater part of the noon with my hands on my hips, waiting and waiting and waiting for him to get ready. 9 year old bugger that needs 10 minutes to tie his shoelaces. I'm certain he wanted to infuriate me.

Today the haze was horrible. Every single condo unit shut their windows tight. Worried mothers talked and started questioning me on which schools were closed for the day (like I had any inkling) as I grunted away while ushering my brother into our crib.

He came home, ripped his shirt (literally - 4 buttons jumped out and settled on the floor) and grabbed the remote before settling on BBC - his habit (he checked up on the earthquake after we were told to evacuate the building). Like a local haze would be featured on an international TV station! HUMP!!

Current music: The Platters' Smoke gets in your eyes.

Pea-Cocks

2005-08-09T17:40:00.000+01:00

Rather peculiar. My blogpatrol recorded the highest hit yet on Monday the 8th. Heh, it's no brainer as to why this happened though.

And the fact that I didn't disclose my results must have disappointed some quarters. I mean, imagine the frustration - skimming through the whole jumble of text to locate 4 capitalised letters (4 because I took 4 subjects). In the event of failure, one will be forced to read the whole text, to see whether I'm jubilant or characteristically bitter. As far as my feelings were concerned, I wrote it in the most detached manner.

To add fuel to the fire, (fire being anger), I prattled on about a grandma and my subdued flirtation with booze. Hah!

I read with with some distaste at the billboard like annoucements about results in some of my peer's blogs. No, no, am happy for them, but I never fancied fanning peacock feathers around. And it's a damn good way to fish congradulatory messages anyway.

By the by, since I couldn't care less about what others think and I'm a self professed champion of free-will, they can do whatever they want in their blogs, as I can do in mine.

Not really. Had to impose some censorship on myself after a fellow blogger imagined I hired a scribe to write a particular post pepper-potted with vulgarity. It's my, my and all my doing.

Anyhow....CONGRATS TO EVERYONE...good or bad, it takes a lot to remain alive, heh!

Current music: Damien Rice's Cannonball.

From Afar

2005-08-08T15:34:00.000+01:00

Had my first taste of Bourbon today, and my first swig of Hennessy - neat.
Eyed a Salem Light cigarette while a friend nonchalantly smoked on the table. I wondered if she would let me have a taste if I asked. As it turned out, I will never know the what her answer would be.

Went over to Bhav's place after that. We had ice cream that I served to more than 10 people - each ordering their choice. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry only or mixed. I added freshly cut bananas and strawberries on my serving. Once every bowl was empty, I decided there was no harm in finishing the entire stack of strawberries with a generous helping of hot, melted baking chocolate. My chagrin was not unnoticed - no one scolded me though.

Later, visited Bhav's room. Coolest room as yet! And VERY unlike the fallen demon image she carries. We saw her library and borrowed all we could. Bhav - librarian like, turned on her laptop and recorded each of our choices - she would then know who to kill if anything went missing.

Her shoe collection - one word - WOW. She has a spilling 30 over count. My recent fetish for boots had a chance to finally indulge. Panted and struggled to get into a $(Aussie) 40 red, vixen boots. Was suprised to find that despite the 2.5 inch heel, I was not trying to remain upright. Huge problem to walk with it though. I ended up marching around the room.

Another cool feature in Bhav's crib - her around 90 year old grandma. She totally ignored me when we greeted her upon entering the house. She just didn't see me, instead she went on chanting and turning over her prayer beads although I was within inches of her. Left me feeling uncomfortble. But when we were about to leave, we went to her to bade her goodbye. This time I was not invisible. She took my hand, held it awhile then placed it on her forehead. Was deeply touched, though I would never know if it was a good sign or not at such a junction in my life. Eerie.

Current music: Keri Noble's Talk to me.

Start Panicking!

2005-08-06T09:15:00.000+01:00

Er, results should be out on Monday, the 8th. At least that's what everyone says. And this time is backed up by Ms. Koh who sits smugly in The Exam Department Room and urges one to attend Grad Day without much conviction herself.

Let me make a public annoucement, although my targeted readers are KDU students and a select bunch of former schoolmates. Then again, these are my only audience (a show of self-pity, again...sigh).

Go see Ms. Sathya after 11 a.m in her room on the 8th.

Terse and simple. Very unlike the panic attacks I'm currently having. At its peak, its almost like contractions. But hey, giving birth is at least useful.

Heh!

Current music: Def Leppord's Pour some sugar on me

Bashing Birthday!!!

2005-07-29T03:18:00.000+01:00

Happy Birthday To You,
You Were Born In The Zoo,
With the Monkeys and Donkies,
Happy Birth Day To YOU - BoNdI !!!

- Confetti and trumpets -

YiPPie !!!!! I'm A ONE YEAR OLD!!!

Red Painted Horns

2005-07-26T17:05:00.000+01:00

To the cunt carrying gender of our species (yes, I too am horrified at the gradual degradation of my language), the following is a rather familiar scenario:

While strolling in pasar malam/ jogging in the street/ window shopping, a bunch of hooligans - of course consisting of the gender with the cock - starts spewing out several high pitched whistles. Ah! All those wasted adulation. Most sane females will ignore those misdirected squeals.

Have I mentioned, I would actually turn around. But no, no, no, no - I won't say fuck off, I would smile. GASP!!!! Hey, hit the brakes - the above was just a metaphor. (On normal situations, I would just walk away - thank god.)

Have to admit though that that was a good parable. Hear me out, please.

The exam department in KDU, well, there's an employee there, with the misguided Rambo haircut. From the beginning of time, I automatically sorted him into this pigeonhole with the tag - MEGAhorny - STAY AWAY PRIYA!

Maybe I spend too much time in college, before long, he got my name, my student number (hey!!!! Is anything ever confidential ANYMORE??!!), and sure as hell he has access to my mobile number.

As it turns out, I saw him in college recently (where else right?) and since he works in the exam department, started quizzing him about when the A-Levels results would be out. Yeah, he gave me the usual bullshit:

"Waitlar, waitlar, we will call you people…."'
"Yar….when is that?"
"15th maybe",
"Heard this year coming out on the 8th..",
"Ah….don't know….you know lar",

Desperate situation requires desperate measurers. Gave him some sob story, which is actually true. The age old story about having tons of things to apply for just to fill an empty pocket. And how much it depended on how fast I can get my results. He bought it - HurRAH!!!!

"Please call me when it comes out - immediately…can ar?"
"Yah yah, no problem",
"My number then..?"
"I got. Just see your student number…"
-Shocked- "Er, I think the info not correct anymore…you just take my number ok?"

SO, there, gave him something I should have withheld. I had a reason to. Before I left, he did manage to chime in.

"Eh, where's that thin, tall, fair, girl that always hangs around with you?"

Gosh! Like I need to be reminded that Dena is the prettiest girl in KDU!!! Told him we were on holiday and zipped my mouth after that. Real gross though - ugh. And to think that he was showing Judy, the librarian a picture of his 'girlfriend'. I saw the picture too, just to pretend that I cared. She turns out to be none other than Miss KDU 2004.

God, how many does he need?

Current music : Craig David's All the way.

Know Thyself - Desperate Housewives' Style

2005-07-20T09:16:00.000+01:00

Oh, absolutely adore Tuesdays! It's such a ticklish galore - Ladies Night!! Thank god for the double dose of it - first on 8TV (an episode ahead) followed closely by Astro. Nope, not married yet, no ring on my finger, but that's okay, I LOVE Desperate Housewives.

No, no, no. I don't think it's premature for me to say so, considering I have only seen 3 episodes of the first season. There's nothing quite like it. And oh how joyful to add this to its credentials - my mom is actually excited about my preference too! For the first time in my entire life - only 18++ years to boost - she admits to like a show I enjoy. So far, she has been trying to be discreet, smiling instead of roaring in laughter like I do at the quirky antics of the adventurous foursome - but she can't hide it from me!

Somewhere during the 3rd episode, I suddenly thought to myself - Which desperate housewife would I be? Can't be too hard right? There's only the four of them plus the Bi*ch - Edie. (ooops, pardon the language)

Let's cross them out first, always the easier thing to do.

All in all, I cannot ever, in a million years, imagine myself to be Bree Van de Kamp. Too immaculate, scrupulous, perfect. 15/20 years from now, I would probably have 2 pimply teenage kids, a rat house and yes, my hubby would have walked out the door without the courtesy of trying marriage counseling prior to the act. I'm just no Stepford wife, that's all. Maybe, maybe, a little bit of Bree that is bossy, I'll-do-it-for-you-since- you-are-totally-useless, I can safely say is inherent in me. So far in the season, this same attitude is the chief reason why Rex walked out on Bree after the failed dinner party. Sad.

Gabrielle. Crossing out Bree wasn't absolute, but Gabrielle, goodness. I am so far from the model looks that I know for certain I wouldn't be a former model with everything a possessive husband can give. By Carlos' standards, that's everything. I just don't see an apparition of myself in a crystal ball where I would be *ucking a 17-year-old. And by no means would one be smitten by me so much so I would be receiving a 'perfect' rose. That's priceless to the petite, by far the prettiest of all the housewife's.

The brood that Lynette has - I just know - call it woman's intuition - that I would be in the same, very desperate situation. With kids who just scream, leave the house in a mess and turn my life on Earth a chaotic hell. I can even taste it. Wouldn't you agree if I say she looks the worst - haggard I mean. That's me -NOW, I don't have to wait till I have kids!!! But she has the sweetest husband though. He tries (to make their marriage a happy one) by wearing a sombrero and dancing in the dining room with his kids as the audience. Despite his willingness to simply 'risk' it because he can't wait till he locates a condom - JERK! - he doesn't seem so bad after all. When everything is done I guess all a woman want is recognition and appreciation.

Susan, oh Susan. Simply the lead and the undoubted star of the show. The vulnerable thing is she…
Er, I see too much of myself in her than I care to admit. You know, the perpetually depressed, wanting something to happen complex. Even trivial things become so blown out of proportion that in the end, she gets hurt - or maybe I'm talking about myself. But, hey, I would welcome a plumber that can come to, tsk tsk, 'fix' my pipes. (Darn suggestive isn't it, precisely why I adore this show!). Mike, mike, Mike - how I swoon for you. Wiping my drool now. Wouldn't it be cool to have a cute guy chance upon you naked and to have his only assessment of you an exclaimed "Wow"?!!

Conclusion. Conclusion = I'm a lil' bit of Bree and a lot of Lynette and Susan, how about you?

Current music: Cindy Lauper's True colours.

Inarticulate

2005-07-16T16:09:00.000+01:00

There. It's happening again. Just when I need that artistic, linguistic part of myself. It clawed itself away, so deep down, draining away life from every other corner. It's more than 12 feet underneath now.

Classics writer's block. Not without a slight twist though. I have ideas, just no words. At least, it's damn well not flowing as it should be. I blame everything. The lack of privacy, indolence (would rather not wash my face and stay in bed if decency would permit it!), and just no mood.

Should add though that this issue - lack of enthusiasm to write - happens only when I'm EXPECTED to write something. I just can't form sentences, even incoherent ones.

As when one is expected to write something, there's a bloody hell DATELINE to meet. And I just don't know why datelines and I, whenever the creative thinking cap is needed, just can't see eye to eye.

The last time this happened, I ended up completing my personal statement just 2 days before it was time to submit my university application form. I tell you, it took me a day - totally unjustified since I was VERY happy with it when my peers took months and had done away with at least a dozen drafts.

When I woke up this morning, I promised myself to sit, staring at a blank computer screen and start forming sentences. I procrastinated, so, day turned into night, then I switched the TV on and Under The Tuscan Sun was about to be aired in 10 minutes. Oh, bless my luck, or, should I?

Should I put myself, at least the barren creative self under pressure or, should I take an easier road and be graced with Diane Lane as my walking mate?

To the yellow brick road I say!

The sky, house, road and everything else had a tinge of that healthy yellow-orange hue, characteristic of the romantic European countryside of Tuscany. Italy wouldn't be Italy if not for their men, so they say. Ahoy! I agree absolutely. Recovering from a divorce, she finally meets - gasp - a prince - or is it? Why does pleasure come so easy in movies? All she had to do was invite him to sleep with her!

Blasphemous! (to every granny out there). How nice if things could be so direct! (to me).
Oh, I'm doing it again! The horny self is surfacing - actually, I'm beginning to belief that it's ever-present.
True, bloody true love waits.

Wait Priya, WAIT!

By the by, I haven't any clue on how I'm going to do what is expected of me. I don't like my initial spurt. Dead! Dead! Dead!

Current music: David Bowie and Queens's Under pressure.

Horror on the Fifth Floor

2005-07-07T14:29:00.000+01:00

I rang the doorbell. I clutched my pencil case with my left hand and tried in vain to 'style' my mane while waiting for the door to open. It was 9.30 p.m - I had been out the entire day and felt clammy. I would have yelled 'Open sesame' moments ago. What's taking so long? Can I come in, teach and go HOME?!

I have been teaching for 3 weeks now and I'm already eager to add this week's wages - a hefty sum of $80. I basically earn $320 a month. I recall writhing in excitement while I did mental calculations before I met him, my student.

Dearest Joseph is 13. Maybe my expectations were too high or something - in line with the 'innocent until proven guilty' mentality, by the time my first lesson with him ended, I knew this was not going to be a walk in the park. I would coach him in 2 subjects, and I happily recommended 2 hours a week per subject. My motives were simple, I needed cash, and tutoring ensured easy and quick money. I know a friend who earned at least $2000 a month during her prime days of tutoring, AND she's just 18 mind you.

I slowly became aware of a bickering. The neighbours, must be. Joseph has a very quiet family - he was the sole child and his quaint housewife mother would do chores in the morning and play computer games at night (yes, you heard me right).

What's taking so long? Plus I don't hear the jingling of keys. Should I? Ring the bell again? By then, I couldn't block it out anymore. It wasn't background noises, it sounded too close by. There was a female's voice. It was shrill, and it was screaming Mandarin with such viciousness. Then came the sound of slashings. It was unmistakable - belt or hanger. I could hear the sound when as it struck flesh.

I thought I heard a second voice, at least a notch more guttural. Joseph?

Caught in the middle of a disciplinary action. No denying that. What horrible timing. God!
Ironically, class was suppose to start at 9.00 p.m, but I had to postpone it because I was engaged. If only I came earlier, I could have saved him from it all.

Okay. What next. Dash for it. Just leave? Ring the doorbell again?
No wait.
Wait? How much longer? It's obviously a bad time. He's going to be red-eyed in class. How to teach?
Listen - Keys - jingling.
Mrs. Tan.

" Er, Priya. Sorry. Er...."
"It's okay"
"See.....hrm.., can you come tomorrow"
"....Okay"
"..Joseph.....he's a naughty boy....."
"I'll come tomorrow Mrs. Tan. 10 to 11, in the morning"
"Okay. See you then"

Spooky.
I was baffled at best. My mom was too. Joseph lives just 2 floors above mine. It couldn't have been more than 10 minutes since I left home.

"WHY?", mom asked suspiciusly, almost with some amount of amusement.
"The mother....she was disciplining him. Told me to come tomorrow"
"HuH? Like that also can ah?.....heh heh"
"It's so....weird..."
"Not weird....oh....just get used to it..."

Oh yeah, thanks mom.

Current music: Daniel Powter's Bad day

War of the Worlds? What war?

2005-06-30T04:39:00.000+01:00

Ah, another Spielberg-Cruise collaboration. Yes, Spielberg has proven yet again that he has an indisputable vision for sci-fi flicks. AND, like many times before, he has proven that he's a huge sucker for happy endings. And trust me, this time, he did it at the expense of the entire movie.

War of the Worlds? What war? As far I could see, the human race were being exterminated a lot quicker than their brains could register they were in big trouble. It wasn't a war, it was an invasion.

I don't want to spoil it for movie lovers out there by revealing the out-of-this-world machines and ultimately how Spielberg's ET turned out this time. See it for yourself, and be spooked out of your chair or have a good laugh if you will. Though I have to say, he made a good choice by featuring Cruise and Fanning in the trailer. His new and improved ET's were reduced to shadows partly to fish for bigger box-office returns by rousing the curiosity of movie-goers and also because no one likes to see gory, blood-thirsty aliens hell bent on terminating anything hot-blooded.

Let us explore the characters then. Half the time, my friends and I were pleading for Dakota to just SHUT-UP. She can really stir up an ear-jarring, attention-seeking plea. Common, is your father suppose to get you to safety or pay heed to your nonsense? Plus, I don't know why, but she keeps getting roles that require her to be a lot older than she really is, in terms of her whims and fancies that is. Can you imagine a 10-year-old health freak that 'orders humus instead of food' as said by Daddy Cruise?

She is adorable at other times though and I can tell you, she hit jackpot this time. Maybe it was in the contract - that Tom should cradle her everywhere they go.

"Haiyorrrrr….., how nice to be her. Look, he carries her everywhere. How nice to have a hot father like that..", Dena, sitting next to me exclaimed the whole way through.

Let's move on to our old but still 'hot' Cruise. He plays a screwed up dad pretty well. Reckon he had real life experiences? His teenage son (god, it's odd to imagine him having a teenage child) would rather refer to him as Ray and not Dad. Anyway, he can still throw window-shattering fast-balls though.

As the movie progresses, it's very clear how his character evolves. It's nice to see a human when the background is just pure carnage. Our macho man, playing an average-Joe this time around manages cry, love, make mistakes and be a jerk at the right moments. As for the unrealistic parts, he seems to have a clear pathway to drive through in the midst of a plane wreckage, kill a man whose wits deserted him (watch out for a cameo by Tim Robbins in a role reminiscent of the sexually abuse man in Moon River), figure a way to destroy a tripod with a hand-grenade when a soldier should have known better, and realise that all of a sudden the impenetrable shield of the tripod had broken down.

The biggest disappointment is the ending, which is nothing short of baffling. Cruise manages to rise above the ruins, single handedly, as portrayed in the movie. I don't think H.G Wells ended his book that way, it was just too perfect.

In another light, we get a glimpse of human nature. See how we react in a crowd at bottleneck traffic - the science of crowd movement, the unusual brutality in times of crisis and of course, how can we miss this - the will to survive.

Ultimately however, the moral of the story is - To stay safe during an alien invasion, stay close to Tom Cruise. And in Meena's blunt terms - don't leave your seats without clapping everytime Cruise saves the day!

Current Music: Aqualung's Brighter than sunshine.

Batman and I

2005-06-23T09:01:00.000+01:00

Batman and I go way back, way-way-back.

I must have been 4, or maybe even 5. Like any other toddler, I had 'teething' problems. It took a task force to feed me. After experimentation, a video helped - to distract my attention from the spoon/hand laden with grub. And that video happened to be, yup, you guessed it - Batman.

The first installation featured Michael Keaton and the resplendent Kim Basinger. I still remember the young starlet being whisked away by the obviously demented Joker - played brilliantly by Jack Nicholson up a bell tower. She was clad in white and she drops her shoe, also white somewhere along the stairwell. They then had a drunken waltz, drunken because she was a reluctant dancer.

It's not like I loved it, at least I don't recall bursting with joy at the sight of the movie but my family surely had a thrill. See what happened was, after so many meals, my little mind had, quite effectively memorised the entire dialogue. So, yup, I could tell their lines before the characters did. Quite amazing huh? My grandma baby-sat me at that time, and until today my aunt would boast to strangers how her favourite niece had induced her grandmother into a stupendous awe. I was a bright kid. (Heh, sheepish laughs)

Fast-forward a few years and I was 9 (Primary 3). We were blessed with a 'honest-to-goodness' fun English teacher. We would sing songs and have story telling sessions and have minimal and seasonal homework. I loved her - until she got too creative for her own good….

Most of you know me simply as Priya, but hey nothing is what it seems right?
Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Bathmapriya. Now let us take a closer look at 'Bathma'. Simple steps okay, ready?
1) Remove the 'H' = Batma
2) Place a bloody 'N' at the end = BATMAN.

So there you have it. My life was ruined. No thanks to her, friends referred to me as Batman when and where they pleased. The nickname stuck to me for a very long time. That's why by the time I stepped into secondary school, I made a resolution to be known as Priya and nothing else.

To my horror, Batman didn't quite leave me alone. I was 13 (Secondary 1). We were just finished with PE. Everyone was sweaty and exhausted. In preparation for our next lesson we removed our hair 'scrunchies' and retied our mane. Yes, I know, unbelievable, but I once had long hair. My clique wasn't accustomed to seeing me with my hair down, so when they did, they decided that I looked manly, hence I better leave it up. They happily experimented and concluded that if I wore a mask covering the top part of my face, I looked like - yup, you guessed it - BATMAN!

THAT'S IT! There's no running away from the black, latex clad dark knight. But, thanks to the box-office flop of Batman & Robin installation 8 years ago, I buried Batman and his franchise behind me.

Then came a younger, fresher, darker Batman.

Batman Begins is characteristically dark. I was never a fan of comics, be it DC or Marvel Comics. I can't bet on it, whether the representation was politically correct or not. I can say for certain though that I'm not for it - the concrete jungle of Gotham City, the screeching supersonic wailing of the bats, the brutality of military tactics, the laissez-faire monopoly of the multimillion-dollar Wayne Enterprise, the vengeful yet spoilt brat-Bruce Wayne, the big Bat-Tank that goes on a rampage on unsuspecting roofs, the destruction of an entire railway line, the poisonous vapour emission from harmless streets, the dilapidating Scarecrow mask.

The one thing I'm drooling over for is Batman himself. Christian Bale has come a long way from that 21 year old that played Laurie in Little Woman. Maybe it’s the inherent pained expression on his face and those sunken eyes, whatever it is; he sure is yummy now. There's a scene where Wayne wakes up after his nocturnal adventures decorated with bruises on his biceps. He gets out of bed and drops, face down to do his push-ups. How nice to be underneath those mass of muscles, pumping and pumping away….

Watch out for Cillian Murphy who plays Dr. Crane too. His mystifying blue eyes and silky soft, pink lips can win you over before you blink. Batman Begins is a treat for the ladies!

Current music: Merril Bainbridge's Salty Lips

Of Enormity. Vastness and Omnipresence

2005-06-19T05:08:00.000+01:00

My toenails were blue. The last time that happened was on May 9th, my first paper. I developed a notorious reputation after a month of occupancy in LHE. I would bashfully ask Ms. Koh to switch the air-conditioner off whenever I started to consciously shiver. By the time exams ended, she knew my name and prior to any paper, would ask how I was doing.

My back was stiff too. And my bottoms hurt from sitting down on a wooden bench far longer that I had ever been trained to. I wasn't sure how long I have been in the bookstore, but I had read Mitch Albom's Five People You Meet in Heaven finish - non-stop. I was inwardly giving myself the heads-up. I would no longer need to worry about borrowing/buying this book.

While reading, many-a-times I had looked out the glass window and saw the spiraling line at the cineplex. It was Batman Begins' opening day. Another time, another day for Batman and I, I told myself. Oh, I got hungry too. Aunty Anne's heavenly pretzels came popping into my mind everytime Eddie met someone new, but I wasn't willing to give up my seat. It's a no-no to stand and read a 250-page book. Plus the book deserves much more respect that a mind half-preoccupied with other things can give.

Above all, I clung on to the Captain even after meeting the Blue Man, Ruby, Marguerite and Tala. Maybe it was the catch phrase - Nobody Gets Left Behind. But I think it was the idea of making life count - to do something, something that makes a difference, and to do it selflessly.

Eddie had been bitter all his life after serving in the war. He returned home a broken man with an indelible wound on his knee. Overtime, the injured knee came to epitomise everything that didn't happen in his life - moving away from his maintenance job in Ruby Pier, having a child with Marguerite, mending his non-existent relationship with his father……

Imagine being bitter about something your whole entire life only to be told later on your journey to heaven that that knee saved your life. The same person that shot your knee and screwed up your life for you later shows himself to be the one that saves you, your life. The captain was blown by a land mine while he gave the green light before allowing the truck carrying his men to pass through, Eddie included.

Who should forgive who?
Should Eddie forgive the captain for shooting his knee, Or
Should the captain forgive Eddie for having him blown away to pieces, in order to save the team?
Questions like these are mind-boggling, and you can never get answers. Over time, we just learn to accept and move on - as callused as that sounds.

The book has profound meaning, just like life. It's good to be reminded of the enormity and omnipresence of life and all that it stands for.

P.S - Watch out for Tala too. The ritualistic removal of burnt scabs is something worth churning over.

Current music - Gavin Degraw's Chariot.

Courtship Woes

2005-06-15T16:01:00.000+01:00

Let me begin by saying human courtship rituals and I just don't go hand-in-hand.

**

It must have been a year, actually a little less since I had in the most innocent sense flirted with a guy. Innocent meaning, doing it - flirting - simply because the situation called for it, and oh well I did like (as in friends) the guy. Without doubts, hesitancies, worries and certainly without a care as to what anyone said.

We flirted for no other reason than to outwit/outlast/outplay each other. And it was never because we were interested. It was extremely exhilarating. Wagging tongues at each other, chasing him around with a bundle of newspaper to whack him with, roaring with laughter in the library, scheming on how to have the last laugh after a volley of insults thrown at each other…..

You know, let's NOT go there, whether either of us were 'fishing' or not. I honestly thought we were having wild banters that caused people to turn their heads - because we were both too laud, too boisterous, too anal, too this and too that!

Of course this 'virginal' form of flirtations lasted for a Very short time. Things got pretty messed up eventually - people talked and went on talking and I unfortunately listened. So one thing added to another and 'innocent flirts' turned into 'hinting flirts'. You can say that the whole affair died the moment I decided to flirt for the purpose of fishing/hinting/ and call it whatever you want lar, am sick of defending my deeds at that period of time.

So, to begin with, I had a very blotched history of 'successful' flirting. Then came the reactions to my actions, which were consequently ugly. I was depressed - to keep the dirty laundry where it should be, I will leave it at that. Then along came exams. Having said all that, I have accounted for all those time in between, where I had been flirting-free.

Back to present day.

I have been aware of myself telling others how tired I am with all these uh-ha of courting rituals. It really doesn't work for me. And I will tell you why.

It was late, 9.30 p.m. The food-stalls in Mid Valley were calling it a day. I was looking ahead, working my way to the carpark. Then, a guy - not my type, tall, skinny, bald, 20-ish, was leaning on a stall in the middle of the aisle. We made eye contact. I didn't even blink, but suddenly I decided to see if well, I could try to use human's instead of ape's courtship rituals for a change.

I looked - he looked - he smiled - I smiled - he stood erect , ready.

He handed me a flier - for Viking's Hotdogs!

THERE! That's it. Never going to do something that random anymore. Why is it that when I flirt the guy ends up selling me hotdogs? - ALL THE PUN IN THE WORLD INTENDED!

Howie Days' Collide seem to be perfect for those times when you wonder what it will be like if there was a significant other half with you.

The Life After

2005-06-10T06:58:00.000+01:00

Exams are over, exams are over, exams are over. YiPPie!!!

It's so the finally OVER!

Well, exams ended with the hardest blow. Chemistry 6 was one big disappointment - all those Transition Elements Chemistry we had to memorise was in vain. And since when did Henry's Law become so bloody complicated? Worst, some classmates of mine decided to answer another option topic that Mr.Andrew didn't teach - Biochemistry - which was peanuts compared to Phase Equilibria. So Minnie and I shouted with exasperation in Latt's ear - he was one of them. Serves him right for bragging about how everything was about peptide bonds and Bio AS syllabus. He's going to ruin the graph! (for grade determination)

Everyone was basically zombie-fide after that. We decided to indulge in movieS that didn't quite take so much brain power - since most of us left it in LHE anyway.

A Lot Like Love.

Okay, was excited because Ashton Kucther was playing the male lead. None of us have seen anything worthy to be deemed eye-candy material for some time now.

To Ashton's groupies out there - You're in for one hell of a ride. See the normally screwy Punk'd mastermind in a whole new mature light. And he's so adorable……..sigh….

To Male Heterosexuals - Amanda Peet and her trademark smoky eyes are a sure winner. So fret not!

Am speechless really, but I can say that it’s value for money all right. Minus the glittering stars, the Big-Bang of first attraction, my best guess is, this movie depicts lasting attachment, all the time being honestly unaware of their dependence on each other. It's not about romance and it's not about sexual climaxes either, but it sure is about love or a lot like it. And it's not those bubble-gum popping movies, so it will be a good watch, regardless of age and gender.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

My goodness! That’s a $11 burn in the pocket I tell you. Totally stupid! The only reconciliation is you’re paying to see the gorgeous couple, even that – Angie Jolie is a greater attention-grabber than Pitt. Time and age have been quite cruel to him..sigh…

I call it cheerful morbidity, but honestly, the movie tries to poke fun at the joy of killing people – like as if life was a computer game. They were actually competing of the number of marks they have taken down. Bloody losers!

If I’m not already so disgusted – my only advice is, PLEASE save your money!

Current music: Good Charlotte’s I just want to live

Factual Anatomy

2005-06-01T05:07:00.000+01:00

What is the strongest muscle in the human body?

Heh, if you ask me, well...

Hrm, well...*wink, wink*.

The answer. The TONGUE.

Gotcha' !

Now, you would wonder why french kisses are that desirable.

current music: Jessica Simpson's I think I'm in love.

Life Happened

2005-05-28T03:54:00.000+01:00

Yellow waning moon, cool night, blood-thirsty mosquitoes, rock hard-coarse cement ‘bench’, black horizon speckled with countable number of stars laced with wispy grey clouds.

Two dejected souls sat along the driveway at 12.30 a.m. Both dejected, both overwhelmed with the sudden realization that life had happened.

A week since my last post. That’s a long time, considering how prolific I have been for past couple of weeks. Am already rusty.

Been busy with exams. I just finished the worst week – 10 papers in total. Am happy that it’s over. Since I can’t study anymore – at least for now, decided to go over to a friend’s place. Ended up talking the night away until her mom started worrying about me driving back home so ‘late’ at night.

I really have nothing to say and this post is merely for announcing to the world that I am still alive, if not well.

Until June 8th or if something interesting happens….

Current music: Simple Plan’s Untitled.

Doctored

2005-05-21T06:48:00.000+01:00

"You may begin.."

So everyone dashed into ruffling the test paper while some still struggled to get their Newton Meter properly clamped to the retort stand - just like the supervisor's . I was doing the latter, but soon gave up for the former.

When I got the hang of things, I set about getting the apparatus in working condition. The whole lab was clanking and crashing away as half a kilogram weights refused to stay in the air and the nimble Newton meters slipped between the teeth of the clamps.

Tedious work I tell you. Clamp. Then unclamp. Position the hanging weight, then reposition, remove the boss, only to add it again. G-clamps WERE NOT made for physics experiments, especially if you have 30 minutes to collect raw data.

Heaved a sigh of relief when I had 6 sets of readings. Now - graph drawing. The moment I set about plotting, I knew I had to do something radical. Since they wanted the y-intercept, the x-axis must start from zero, BUT 1/sinØ must always be more that 1, so all my plots were clumped to one side. I gave up when I realised that the gradient was really off.

30 minutes more before I hand over the paper - should I collect data again? No, too late, too late.

I had Rooster's Come Get Some in my head. That prompted me to do something bold.

I worked my way backwards. Saw the equation, reduced it to y = mx + c. Identified my m(gradient) - the value of which should correspond to the weights we were given, then returned to my graph. Honestly, I only kept 2 of my data intact, the rest were left to my discretion. I doctored all my point, and even had the nerve to make my best-fit curve look like one, meaning to say, I had purposely planted one point up the line and another below, to balance it out.

5 minutes left to the clock, and I was feeling guilty. Do they penalise for doctoring your results? Then again, too late to make my data believable.

Mr. Tan was smiling away as a bunch of us related how we had to be completely dishonest. His only comment was "Smart, smart. Good lar….no choice what, even my one, my gradient was 0.9 kg…good, good…"

Nature Calls!

2005-05-18T11:45:00.000+01:00

Worked my way to the Pasar Malam, which is at least a kilometer away from the condominiums. It was still sunny, but I figured after all the deep freezing I had today, I could use some thawing. Was humming Michael Bublé's Home along the way but soon gave up when I couldn't place the song, the searing heat, the zooming motorbikes and the rough tar together in a heap.

Wouldn't it be nice to go camping/hiking/jungle-trekking? The last time I spent more then 2 hours in the jungle..…when was it? Form…..4. Yes form 4 - Prefect's Camp. Although it was very physical - we did absailing, flying-fox, jungle trekking…..since we were such an 'elite group of people', the newly appointed teacher advisor decided that we could all use a stay in the hotel - a five star hotel! As I result, I refused to go for the annual camp in Form 5 - this time it was a beach resort. How preposterous! I told her I had to be a flower girl for my Untie's wedding. Ha! ME - FLOWERGIRL?! Can't believe she bought it. But she did harass me the entire year, until we officially retired when SPM was hot on our heels.

So, basically, even with a long history of supposed exposure to the wild-outdoors - starting humbly with Brownies in Standard 3, then moved on to Girl Guides in Form 1, and finally Rangers in Form 4, I NEVER had the practical lessons of sleeping in a tent, the art of unhooking a bra with one hand, changing underwear while still having the 'outer-wear' on, cooking edible meals on firewood, singing folk-songs around campfires, or even sharing ghost stories late-late-late at night.

(I would like to note however that we, semi-senior Guides in Form 2, had to prepare a set meal using firewood as part of our Fire-Lighting component of the Second Class test. It wasn't edible to us, because ashes inevitably sunk onto the food - I wonder how the seniors ate it…ekk!)

The BIG question is - Who in KDU would agree to accompany me to answer Nature's Call? By the time exam's are over and done with, this urge might be over and done with too. (Hopefully not.) Plus with all the superhuman-cool-movies due for summer release on the silver screen, my search could be doomed from its conception! Who would ditch the 'so-planned clubbing nights', drunken sleep-overs and the Megasales for self-imposed suffering in the wild?

Who? Who? Who?

Stuck

2005-05-14T14:12:00.000+01:00

I have hacked my muse to death, or so to speak. Plus I'm partially immobilised - I'm eating ice cream while typing this. And I can create more reasons to explain why I have ditched my blog and replaced it with TV. If only I said I was buried in books - in line with the exams, I would be really happy, but then I can't lie to myself now, can I?

There's nothing to tell, really. Life has sadly stagnated. Gossips, faces and even jokes are as stale as they can be. Exams have a way of draining the life out of everyone…yikes!

Fat's birthday is on the 16th. (That's my lil' bro's nick name). Though I know what to get him, I did tell him he's going to have to wait for his present. With all the TV watching I do, I'd feel really guilty if I added hiking in Mid Valley as another past time.

It's the same thing as last year - a book. Fat knows me well enough to know I'll give him nothing else. Hey, I'm not going to add to his collection of games for his Game Boy that I have to beg to have a chance to touch! Mind you, I never get to play it unless he's in the shower….arrrggg!!

Got him a book on fighter planes last year, more for their pictures. Fat hates reading - unfortunately. Then this year, I hear of his ambition to become a pilot - Hurrah! How nice to know that I have the influence/capability to shape young minds…

Planning to get him The Little Prince. Originally written in French by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and naturally titled Le Petit Prince. Am afraid it might be too philosophical for him - he's 9, but he needs to start sooner rather that later, since he's my brother after all, and it's a children's book anyway. There are cartoon pictured in it, hopefully that will sustain his interest….

Got to have my shower….

Song of the day: Stacy Orrico's Stuck.

p.s - Now, I heard this song 3 times in the space of 5 hours. Twice on MTV and once on the radio. Feels like it's begging to be in my blog. Hey, the chorus has nice lyrics. Memorised it! If only I could do that for biology….hrm..

Jaded

2005-05-10T06:00:00.000+01:00

Sputtering start to the month-long exam marathon.

Sigh.

Don't know what to say.

Truth is, am jaded.

It's Sink or Swim now….I DON'T want to sink.

Sigh

Sigh

Sigh

Zoned out with Norah Jones' Humble me

Threshold

2005-05-06T09:52:00.000+01:00

Is it necessary or sufficient that doctors/future doctors have a higher threshold to disgusting things?

I held a piece of envelope with scores of phone numbers scrawled haphazardly on it. It wasn't the numbers, and it wasn't the fact that this envelope was left on the floorboard of his car. It was the stain and the stench.

It explained why he left a blanket on the driving seat. But it didn’t help that I was taking the wheel to ferry my brother to tuition class.

I grimaced and snatched the envelope from my brother hands. It found its way there while I was lost in contemplation.

Just a few weeks ago I was spreading around gossip regarding J.Lo's anal leakage. Never would have thought that the problem was so close to home after all.

While I was driving, queasily, trying very hard to keep my mind on the road and not what I could possibly be sitting on, I told myself I better get used to things like this….I better.

By the time I got home, I was giving myself a pat on the back. Why?

1) I brought the car back in one piece.
2) Dropped my brother at tuition in one piece.
3) I'm still in one piece.
4) I haven't shattered his ego by telling him I know his BIG secret.
5) I have increased my disgusting threshold by one band.

I really need to go and change my pants at least…

Oh, by the by….exam's in 2 days time….shit!

****

Hwee Jian is resting in Assunta with her tonsils raging out of control. She can't eat solids. She chooses not to receive visitors - it gives her a headache, which in turn causes her to vomit.

Poor girl. Get well quick!

Current music: Neil Sedaka's Breaking up is hard to do.

Dark, Grey, Heavy Clouds

2005-05-04T12:33:00.000+01:00

Had in mind something light and funny, but I don't think it's right to post something as such, not after…

****

Johnny stood smack in middle of the pentacle, looking severely lost. He was waiting for us, Hwee Jian's classmates to come.

He came on her behalf, to collect her trial papers, while she lay in bed, resting.

Something wasn't right for a dark cloud hung over him. He hesitated when we asked how she was.

"Yesterday,…not so good".
He said it with a straight face. And we just didn't know how to react. I mean, what is not-so-good in terms of tonsils?

"She said she was okay, day before yesterday. But, she didn't reply my message yesterday",
"Hey, mine too…"

Johnny evaded it and I guess it helped when our attention shifted to the crowd barging out of the lab. All wearing smiles, all grasping sheets of paper.

So, we went in, rummaged here, there, everywhere for her papers…

Johnny decided to come in after all, despite feeling out-of-place initially.

"She's still in Assunta?"
"Yes".

He waited for awhile, but it was apparent where his heart was.

"Hey, Thanks. Thanks", he murmured. And with a seemingly enthusiastic wave, he left.

Something's just not right.

And we were right.

Hwee Jian sent us a suicidal message. She couldn't stand the pain, and the exams were on top of her head. What was she to do other than 'bunuh diri'?

Of course she didn't mean that.

Hang in there girl. Hang in there.

Current music: Barry Manilow's Can't smile without you.

Chupa-Chupa Anyone?

2005-05-01T04:34:00.000+01:00

She opened her mouth reluctantly and with considerable pain. A few pairs of eyes ignored the equations written hazardously on the white board and trained them instead on her mouth.

There it was. 2 Chupa-chupa lollipops stuck at both corners of her throat. It was luridly coloured, punctuated with blood-red capillaries lining the glazed sphere like entities.

Hwee Jian is having tonsils.

"He said that if it doesn’t go away in 2 to 3 days, then have to operate",
We squirmed at the idea of slicing the throat to remove the bacteria infested chupa-chupas.

That was on Thurday.

Phones must have been buzzing all around when on Saturday Hwee Jian was admitted in Assunta Hospital. Messages flew and it was finally decided that we visit her at 6 p.m.

I got there early. After inquiring where she was warded, I walked cautiously through a labyrinth of dingy corridors. Hospital hallways have a way of inducing claustrophobia…

There, Fatimah Ward, Room 3. Knocked the door and turned the door handle not knowing what to expect. The first thing I saw was Hwee Jian, lying languorously on the bed, covered with a quilt, which was more like an extra large towel. Her right hand - entwined with those of Johnny's.

"PRIya!! I'm so surprised. I only told Aleesa."
"Oh well, you know how we can't keep our mouths shut….hehhehe"

I turned 90° to find her mother seated and reading a cookbook. After all the usual "hi Untie and yada yada yada", I sat on the bed and made pointless conversation. And to fill up time I noticed Untie's flair in Bahasa. Turns out that Hwee Jian and fly. hails from Kelantan…hrm…

Finally, the rest of our classmates showed up and handed Hwee Jian a 'Recover Soon' - teddy bear.
Aaawwwwww.

Get well soon Hwee Jian!

Dreaming away with Barbara Streisand and Bryan Adams' I finally found someone.

Weightless

2005-04-26T14:33:00.000+01:00

Ahhhhh….

Woke up this morning with the empowering feeling of lightness. I finally roused myself from a nightmare that lasted 7 months. Finally. I was smiling, and even a defective car alarm piercing the calmness of the morning didn't matter. I just knew, today is going to be a good day.

As I regained consciousness, I felt the pain in my left arm. I didn't know clutching a phone tightly for a prolonged period could cause such pain. My earlobes were sore too and I vowed not to stick earphones in my ears for a day or two. It needs recuperation after the laud, coarse, barbaric night before, where Aveena just couldn't control her decibel level over the phone. And oh, how I strained my ears to make sense of the deep guttural noise of another friend. But hey, it was worth it - letting it all out, once and for all.

The cause for celebration ? My liberation. Ha! I'm ecstatic. Still. And I'm gleaming.
Also, learnt a few things about myself. I NEVER knew I could speak softly over the phone. I was practically whimpering at the right moments. Astonishing!

****

It was an unmistakable smile. And it spoke of my prediction that today was going to be all good and happy. The baby boy in light blue with soft hair, red, butterfly soft lips, clear, angelic pale moon white skin looked at me like he wanted to share my joy. I played peek-a-boo discretely but stopped when another patron turned to look. After that, I couldn't help but to wallow with an urge to have babies of my own. Maternal instincts have no sense of place or time.

There's a huge problem though. I'm too tantalised by the fruits of sex to discount males entirely. Beyond that, they have no place in society. Males = Dullards.

****

The house I took 10 hours to clean lies in a clutter of mess now, but I don't care, not one bit. Lil' bro and mommy are back. That's all that matters. More reasons for me to be happy today.

When my 9-year-old brother sat on my lap and fed me ice cream I was brimming with felicity. I missed him, sorely, and at least I can have the satisfaction that it was mutual. He was brown and I couldn't help whacking his butt and exclaiming aloud over and over again on the disappearance of his gluttonous belly. He's lean, but he's still adorable. He's the cutest thing that happened to me and it took me 9 years to realise that…

Mom was okay about it, when she heard I had done enough to have her car reside in a workshop for a couple of days. Thank god. I had calculated that if there were anything that can ruin the promise of today, it would be her wrath.

****

I have got to study.

current music : Bobby Mcferrin's Don't worry, be happy

To Adam,

2005-04-25T11:40:00.000+01:00

I AM CHOKING. CHOCKING WITH ANGER.
I AM CHOKING. CHOKING WITH DISGUST.
I AM CHOKING. CHOCKING WITH UTTER DISBELIEF.
I AM CHOKING. CHOKING WITH MY OWN STUPIDITY.

I'm vexed. And the keyboard has to suffer my brunt.
I can't believe it. Not one bit. It finally makes sense.
All that crying, all that mourning, all that celibacy till I find someone worthy.

You know what, I'm throwing it all out the door.

TO HELL WITH MEN.

I feel extremely dirty. Dirty with filth, dirty with stupidity.

While I was bawling away, he was running around trees with an Eve. LITERALLY. Months after he tempted me with an apple, only now I'm beginning to see that there are many, many Eves choking away with a bloody bite of apple in her throat. BLOODY HELL YOU ADAM!
Not bad for apples which were just a day away from rotting. The First Sin comes at a high prize. Intelligence was hampered under the pressure of a mouthful of apple. Or maybe, it is just I.

My life is EXACTLY like a soap opera. All those hopes and bloody hell dreams of 'being different'. All that spirit. All that zeal. And now - I AM NOTHING BUT BROKEN.

You know what? Be careful what you wish for. Be very careful.

Yes, I prayed for strength. I prayed that it would one day make sense. And guess what. Today was the day. It all started with a suggestive "How can you study when you're so Restless?"
Now, that coming from a woman, only another will understand that the Woman's Intuition is working her hands. So, I lightly touched the water, only to induce a torrent of words. I wanted to hear it, as much as it hurt, and I wanted to dash, to leave, to run, as much as I wanted to stay and be Enlightened.

It's all cliché. It's all-pathetic. It's all-ridiculous. It's shameful.

I need to scrub myself hard. Real hard.

Is it APPROPRIATE to commemorate this instant with a song?
Oh, one thing is for sure. I am NOT GOING TO SHED ONE MORE TEAR FOR ADAM. NOT ONE.

With disgust,

Eve

p.s- how many, truthfully was there before me, and after me?

Long/Short or Big/Small ?

2005-04-23T17:22:00.000+01:00

I chuckled when I spotted that little piece of news at a remote corner of the newspaper spread. This would be a worthy piece of information to discuss…

****

As I was telling Minnie about the article, her impulse was to grab a ruler. Her eyes swiftly scanned the length of it, but she decided to reinforce the spatial dimensions by using her index finger.

"9 cm….my god…IT'S LONG…"

Oh yeah. Agree with her, totally. Unlike our bread eating counterparts, we, who gobble nasi lemaks and teh tariks will generally agree that 9 cm is too long for a penis. A flaccid one at that.

"Imagine, if it was erect….creepy……"

The idea that longer/bigger is better is still - indigestible to the masses who hasn't literally delved into the world of fornication. We just don't see how a relatively larger piece of…flesh can be inserted into a rather tiny orifice. Then again, like love and hate, pain and pleasure is separated by a thin line.

So, how do men measure up below their belt?

The longest - Italians - With an average of 9 cm, they not only have their generally chiseled looks and lean bodies to boot.

The citizens of Hamburger Ville (The US) have to settle for second place, averaging 8.8 cm.

The others are, well, not worth taking note of.

I'm certain some of you are already fidgeting, so I'll cut to the chase and list down some Discovery Channel Quickies instead of rambling aimlessly.

1) 75% of males ejaculate within 3 minutes of penetration. (Isn't that a bit to fast?)
2) Males under 40 are typically able to reach an erection in less than 10 seconds.
3) A typical orgasm lasts 3-5 seconds, with contractions occurring every 0.8 seconds.
4) Medomalacuphobia - fear of losing an erection. (fascinating..)
5) Among primates, man has the largest and thickest penis. (Males beat the gorillas that measure up to 2 inches…hurrah!)
6) A small flaccid penis has a greater percentage increase during erection than a larger flaccid penis. (grow-er vs. show-ers……hehhehehe)
7) Some studies shows that the higher educated males have a greater tendency to have wet dreams.
8) Males become sexually aroused nearly everytime they dream.
9) The male fetus is capable of attaining an erection during the last tri-semester. (They start young..)
10) Ithyphallophobia - fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis. ( Phobias don't seem to have an end, do they?)
11) At the age of 70, 73% of males are still potent. (Horny old men….)
12) Oneirogmophobia - fear of wet dream (damn!)
13) The rhinoceros has a penis measuring 2 feet long (My goodness!)
14) The initial spurt of ejaculation travels at 28 miles an hour. (Just as a matter of comparison, the world record for the 100-meter sprint is 27.1 miles an hour)
15) The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men, and vise versa.
16) A man's testicle increases in size by 50 % when aroused. (That too?)
17) Micropenis - A rare disorder where those afflicted suffer from unusually small penis, from 0.75 to 1 inch - erect.

That's all folks!

Calming myself with Kenny Rogers' Crazy

Hostility

2005-04-21T04:55:00.000+01:00

The first thing I was conscious of was my brain - working while my eyes were still shut. A song was playing in my head, and I refused to get out of bed until I figured the title of the song. I randomly picked names, but I couldn't put my finger on it. So I turned this way and that, ruffled the blankets and felt the cold breeze brush my legs. Like a jolt, I realised that I was thinking of Lifehouse's You and Me. Then I opened my eyes, and was greeted by the bluish hues on the early morn.

When I finally mustered enough determination to get out of bed, I looked at my ridiculous Winnie the Pooh clock. It was 8.20 a.m and I saw my dinner plate on the dressing table, left unwashed due to my blatant laziness. A new day, a new set of chores, and a whole lot of carry forward work to be done and over with. Ugh!

****

It was odd how the merged class of July '03, Jan '04, and Mac '04 reacted when from one corner of the room a classmate shouted, " Meera!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!".
Everyone turned to the one that had shouted, shocked at her brazenness, then slowly turned to Meera once they fathomed what the short sentence meant. What shocked me was the fact that all of them collectively kept quiet. As if the seconds of silence usually given as a sign of respect during funerals was a fitting birthday greeting. Only some bothered with claps and cheers but there wasn't a song or any of the likes, as if it just took too much from their able bodies.

I sighed, regrettably. What is it with this world? Aveena made spontaneous plans to take Meera out for a treat at Secret Recipe. Half of her zeal must have sprang out from her guilt - she had forgotten all about it and had resorted to calling up other friends just to confirm that yesterday was in fact Meera's birthday. After all the chiding Eunice, Meera and I smothered Aveena with; there was just no other way out. How many times has that girl let us down? Haih, haih, haih….

*****

Happy Birthday Meera!

Wasted

2005-04-18T11:38:00.000+01:00

Only a few minutes have passed since it dawned on me that it's been exactly 3 months. It's morbid that I'm 'celebrating' such an event. Morbid - because I'm still where I left while everything around me has evolved, changed, left, moved on…

Putting things behind, letting go - are concepts entirely foreign to me. Things that I lost are embossed on the yellowing pages of my life stories, while things I have with me still are invisible until they cease to exist. It's purely human, except I'm making the same mistakes time and again. Just each time, the scenarios are different, different casts, different scenes laced with harsher circumstances. I must have deafened all ears around me, so much so I'm attached to blogging for the satisfaction of whining away my sorrows.

Sad.

****

After this morning's near death (I'm not kidding) experience - as early as 6.30 in the blinking hours of dawn, I'm wasted. Starting with the splitting headache on Friday to the 12 hour long spring clean on Saturday to the nasal leakage that left virtually all waste-bins in the house teeming with Klennex on Sunday, there was just no end the torture I was putting myself through. As of today, I'm including Panadol in my diet when all I can think of is sleeping pills.

Of the near death experience - I'm only disclosing this much - I'm assuming all financial responsibility, of course, with a very heavy heart. I absolutely hate it when ironies creep back on me, choking me, then leaving me emaciated.

****

The only highlight of today - I happened to win the goodwill of a friend that allowed me access to continuous air play of Aerosmith's Crazy while waiting for a class to start. If I might add, the class never started - some mishap in the scheduling. And I'm also indulging in a little distraction - storybooks. Reading two at the same time. The only consolation is I'm temporarily diverted from thinking about him.

To sum it all up - Monday sucked, like the entire weekend.

Need I say what song keeps playing in my head over and over again?

p.s - My blog is becoming a published journal…sheessh!

With A Stiffened Neck

2005-04-15T15:53:00.000+01:00

I'm writing this out of responsibility than interest. There's just too many things to say. My thoughts are muddled and fatigue has eaten all my muscles just below the neck, behind the shoulder.

First thing first, exams are finally over. None of us were ecstatic about it though. It must be the finals, just lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on us. After 2 weeks of grueling papers, and it's 24 in total for me, everyone knows that 2 legs up on the table is what we need.

My classmates and I decided to watch a movie to kick back and relax. We saw Be Cool. Let me tell you, it's a pointless movie, but hey, when did things make sense in the first place. It's perfect for unwinding though. Who wouldn't enjoy a thoroughly calculated dance routine with John Travolta in it? After all this years, it's so enjoyable to watch him dance. Minus the hype, the extravagance, and all that mumbo-jumbo roller coaster ride, I was intoxicated. It was sexy with elegance at its best, what not with Uma Thurman as a dance partner. I loved it. And yes, if you like music, you'll be up on your seat in this movie. It's full of it, plus an exhilarating gig with Aerosmith entailed. I must not forget The Rock. He was by far the funniest character. Laughed out loud with ass whipping 'action' and 'monologues'.

***

It's 10.30 p.m already and I haven't had my bath yet. My nose aches with the slightest facial movement, all thanks to the proliferating pimples. My headache is blinding me and I can't keep my face up anymore. Throughout the exams, it took me at least 10 seconds to focus when I wanted a glimpse of the clock, placed very far ahead of me, relative to the exam papers. Should have had it checked a long time ago, but procrastination and I go hand in hand.

***

I have got more to say but if I go on, this will turn into incoherent ramblings. I need to hit the sack, not before popping some sleeping pills….

Drowning into my pathetic and totally unfounded infatuation on a particular someone with Aerosmith's Crazy.

Fresh Start, Or Maybe Not

2005-04-13T11:27:00.000+01:00

It's New Year's Day tomorrow, Indian calendar that is. Which will only mean more work for me - cleaning up the altar is a complex chore and I doubt I will get the utensils to shine anyhow. Considering how exasperated I'm with household chores, I don't think I'll relish the thought of the extra I'm making myself do just for the sake of it.

I found out by chance. I noticed how the temple was a-buzz with activity for the past 3 days and a call from my aunt confirmed it. The idea of 'celebrating' all alone is sappy enough, a quick look at my exam calendar made me conclude that this new year is starting off like the rabies is to a dog. I have 3 papers tomorrow, all Chemistry, one of which is a practical.

I don't know how I'm going to cram up all that I have to do. Since studying is out of the timetable (yeay!), I think I'm going to have to wake up earlier than usual, if the usual 5 a.m is not early enough.

1- To dash to the temple to collect that holy water, to use during my bath. It supposedly cleanses away your sins and gets you going with a fresh start. By the by, it's very nice smelling.

2- To mix a thick paste of herbs to use while shampooing after rubbing myself with oil. The oil bath is pleasant and all, but I can't imagine the mess I would make out of the bathroom…more work…argh!

3- Start burning incense sticks, blast the radio with devotional songs, ring the bell, light the lamp, pray…

4- Dash to the temple again, for the New Year's Prayer. I can alternatively go at night but the crowd is sure to be huge and there would virtually be no parking space.

5- Dash, again, but now to college, only to conduct a non-fool-proof experiment involving god knows what only to get negative results.

6- Eat lunch. Oh I must be vegetarian, and so that rules out cafeteria, Yu Yee and everything else. How I wish I could dash to my grandmother's house. Her mouth-watering Sambar a.k.a Dhal with veggies and oh, that sweet pumpkin dish she used to make…..

7- Sit for 2 more bloody papers in that stupid lecture theater. I tell you the energy needed to keep yourself warm is more than what is needed to think. Shivering isn't helpful either, especially since after nearly 2 weeks doing the routine, I'm having tics even when I'm not at that cold storage.

8- Home sweet home - not entirely sweet since I'm all alone.

Some new year huh.

Looking ahead with Diana Ross's When you tell me that you love me

So, It's Me, Myself and I

2005-04-11T12:37:00.000+01:00

I'm so excited. It's official. It's my FIRST DAY entirely alone. Except for persistent calls from nossy relatives, I'm the man of the house. I get to eat whatever I want, watch whatever I want, listen to the radio station of my choice and I can very well walk naked around the house - a matter of expression since it's technically impossible to be completely out-of-sight in a condominium.

So, today started earlier than usual. Sent my family off for their pilgrimage at 5.00 a.m. I had planned to go back to bed - I have always managed to be jaded about things like this. Instead I scrubbed myself and drove - uh the car's MINE too!!! - to the temple at 6.15 a.m. It's a surprise even to me. It's my first time alone at temple and at such a time.

By 7.00 a.m, I was in college. Yes, a bit too early - I'm an early person, but not a morning person. As I was sitting at the empty cafeteria, it slowly dawned on me that I've to survive with cafeteria's food for 3 weeks, at least for lunch. Not a very pleasant thought. As for dinner, oh well, I'll cook - if I don't burn the food prior to consumption and if it's edible.

The first thing I did when I got home was change the radio station placed in the hall. Tuned it to Light and Easy - a current obsession since I'm more of a romantic than a cynic now. As I scanned the house and tasted the stuffy air, thanks to the shut windows, I wanted to repeat my favourite line 3 times with enthusiasm - I'M ALONE. Just that very second, I saw the pile of things on the dinner table, the unfolded clean clothes, dirty laundry, dishes with stagnant water in the sink, sheets of my silly brother's comics and on and on and on…..

Very well, I don't want to start studying right away anyway. I'm the type that does everything except study during exams. But seriously the chores didn't end. It was one after another. After clearing the comics I got appalled by the dust on the floor, after cleaning the dishes I realised there was more in my room, after cleaning the dinner table I decided to shift the old newspapers pile to a more hidden place. Then I discovered the amount of food there was, leftover that is. How am I going to eat all this?

The leftovers are proving to be just too much. I can't throw them away right? I only have my sense of smell to gauge how rotten they were. I almost wanted to have something for dinner when I caught mold growth with my ever failing sight. Then I found some cookies all soft with too much air exposure but it was still good. What do I do with them? Uh, maybe I can mix biscuit crumbs and yogurt…er…isn't that crumbs with cheese instead of yogurt? GOD!

This isn't going to be as fun as I thought it would be. But for starters, I have decided to slow down on the cleaning. Will stick to one spot a day. Besides, no one is visiting - yet. Ah, can't wait for the 'drunken rendezvous' with a bottle Merlot and little shot glasses (doubt shot glasses are appropriate with wine…hrm)…..The only thing that worries me is the verbal diarrhea I will go into during bouts of incoherence, other that that - C'est La Vie!

In the mood for love with Shania Twain's Don't

Single but really, Unavailable

2005-04-08T12:25:00.000+01:00

I'm exhausted. Imagine having weights stuck on your neck, pulling you down persistently. After 5 days of 'warring' (exams) with an average of 2.4 battles (papers) a day, in the North Pole (Lecture Theater E), I felt like 'celebrating' with a late banana leave lunch with a friend that I haven't been spending time with, thanks to this pointless wager I made with Cambridge International Examinations.

As it turns out, she came to college looking all spooked out-having missed her Law Paper because she was too sleepy - studying for the said paper the entire night before. She looked so pitiful; I didn't want to bug her. Ended up sitting at the orange-y cafeteria in college that I like more now since I'm getting discounts after months of flattering the canteen operators. She left after a while, but no harm, carried on with my late lunch - now turned very early dinner with a classmate (Dena) and a dear friend (Halim).

I was gulping down my Maggie Mee Tomyam soup when Dena noticed a 'hot guy'. Well, he was kind of cute, but, really, just wasn't my type. He was well built though. Halim gave us the background check on this guy, who turns out to be from Syria. Let's baptise him Syria, shall we, to make my write-up a little less tedious?

Syria sat on the next row facing me. As Dena and I listened and giggled at Halim's narration of Syria, it was only natural for me to look at Syria, right? I glanced at him, a little more than I should. That’s when he caught my eye. He looked back, and I quickly shifted my focus to my soup with residues of maggie mee in it. The weird thing is, he didn't stop looking…instead he started smiling. He was under the impression I was checking him out…opps!

By then, I stared laughing. I know, I shouldn't have but I've got the funny bone. It was tickling me too much, so much so I was on the brink of sprouting 'holy water' on Dena. I explained to Halim and Dena what happened and blamed in all on Dena, arguing that he was checking her out. They didn't let me go away easily though. They insisted he was checking me out. I highly doubt it, considering that I looked like trash. According to Ms. Sathya, I have the excuse to, since we are having exams, but, seriously, everyone else is dressed to kill!

Halim started threatening to bring him over for introduction and the sorts, but I wasn't the least bit interested. Honestly, I couldn't careless about his existence while Dena was saying how happy she would be if he was checking her out. By then, Syria had joined another group of friends and was sitting on our row.

Thankfully, my ride was waiting for me outside, so I excused myself and left. Dena, cheeky as she is, shouted…"Bye PRIYA!" Like as though he was going to catch my name. How ridiculous is that?

I'm currently laughing my head of, still. It's bloody hilarious. A few months ago I would have been excited, but now, oddly enough, I'm shrugging away all this bullshit with a laugh. I'm honestly not interested. The question is - WHY?

Condescending with Faith Evan's Hope(or is it Hopeful?)

Family Planning and Tuition Fees

2005-04-06T11:25:00.000+01:00

3 friends sat on the stairs.
Heavily pregnant Ms. Azizah walks by, carrying a bundle of papers.
One nudged, pointed a chin towards her.
Once the coast was clear…

"Hey, since when was she pregnant?"
"Long time already…you don't know meh?"
"…huh…she didn't look pregnant before this.."
"Maybe it's that blouse she's wearing…more.. noticeable now.."
"Oh my god, forgot to tell you. Ms. Kana is PREGNANT!"
"WHAT ?! How can you Forget to mention something like that? First you forgot to tell me she came to KDU. So weird. Weird how you people Suddenly remember things nowadays…"
"Heh, sorry lar…."
"She's pregnant again…so fast….Isn't it a one year gap…Wait, she told us she had a baby last December right?…uh…December '03? My god, 2 YEARS only?"
"Why, what's wrong with that?"
"Yah, 2 years is fine what.."
"2 years? It's too soon lar. All the hopes I had for Ms. Kana…and she Blew it"
Laughs…"why?"
"She's like the typical Estate Indian now…with no inkling of family planning…after all that…education.."
"Heehehhe….I didn't say anything.."
"Maybe she thought she was ready for another one…"
"2 years is not a gap at all"
"What's wrong with 2 years. I think it's nice. You'll be closer to your siblings and such"
"No, what's wrong with a 4 year gap then?…5 maybe?"
"It's just to far…see like you…you're not even talking to your brother.."
"That's not the point. 2 years is just too soon…"
"Oooohhh…you're talking financially is it..?"
"YES, Yes…by god, took you guys so long…"
"By the time it's 2nd year, the other needs to get to college…the parents would be pulling hairs of their head.."
"4 years is fine…my sister is in her last year and I'll be getting into U soon…"
"Heh, for medicine…even 4 years is not enough…"

Another friend bumps into the trio.

"HEY!!!!"
"HHHHHIIIIIIIII"
"MS. KANA IS PREGNANT!!!"
"WHAT?! So fast. Such a horny woman. Doesn't she know anything about condoms?…(LAUGHS)…Man she's going to suffer with all that tuition fees…"
"Why you two think the same way huh?"
"You wouldn't believe it. It took them so long to get my point on why she's pregnant way too soon for her own good. And you, you just came and -Bang- bull's eye!"
"Really, 2 years is fine lar…"
"Hey my gaps are 2, 2 as well"
"Oh, how's the tuition fees thing going..?"
Laughs…

Time for Thinking Skills Paper 1.

p.s - Stress pimples are out and about on my pizza face. I look like trash too.Ugh.

Soaking up the sun with Desiree's You gotta be

Sincerely Altruistic

2005-04-04T11:09:00.000+01:00

" I feel sad.."
"Why?"
" It's P. She's not happy. At all…"

I smiled and slowly added up the equations. There's no mistaking now why P. asked me something that would normally come from me.

"Why is life difficult?"
"I ask that question everyday P…but, if you ever find out why…please, please tell me…"

Yes, should have come out with something better to comfort an 'out-of-sorts' friend, so, nearly 2 hours later, I left the freezing library to, well, chat…

"I just can't put my finger on it. I just don't know. I don't know why I'm heavy hearted. I'm not comfortable…and it's really not about the exams…"
"Try asking yourself random questions and give honest answers to them, maybe you'll see what's wrong.."
"The thing is, maybe it's not my problem after all…I get really wrapped up with other people's problems. It's just not me at all…to carry my problems around.."

Let me tell put this plainly. P.'s a natural do-gooder. She wakes up everyday having in mind a mission - and that is simply to help.

"I want to make a difference. My greatest fear is to die, not doing anything…not helping, not making a difference in someone's life. I just don't see the point, everyday…I feel useless if I don't help…"

Honestly, I don't get it. Maybe it's because I was so immersed in a world desiccated with kiasu-ism. Why would someone do something with absolute selflessness? Is that state even achievable?

Just wasn't brought up that way. It's a shame really. It was a mantra or the likes - I must have a direction. I must achieve something, I must get this, I must get that - for myself. It's apparent now…it's utterly foolish.

People like P live for others, but people like me, shamefully I have to admit, live on others. Truly embarrassing, really. It's parasitic at best.

As college draws closer to an end, we talk about all that has happened, all that had blossomed and all that had wilted. The most beautiful part is how close we have become, and how much we really care for each other - selflessly, given a short span of time.

If you see us sitting on the stairs next to a classroom, waiting for a paper to start, there's no doubt now what we are actually discussing. The essence of life is what we make of it, and it's all completely up to us how we make it.

P.s - my predictions that the trials would be nothing short of hellish is true.

Mellowing to Gary Barlow's Forever love.

Sunday Blues

2005-04-03T09:03:00.000+01:00

Spent the entire weekend bumping around the house, literally. Also squeezed my plump little brother to death, on a couple of occasions and taking numerous naps on my plush bed.

Self-deterioration doesn't get worse than this - I don't make my bed at all! Considering I take refuge among the slithering confusion of blankets, pillows and bolsters every 4/6 hours, there's just no point in cleaning up my nightly mess.

I found a Merlot in the cupboard today. Flirted with the idea of popping the bottle for lunch, then decided better not. I'm not going to nurse a hangover during my exams. Mommy dearest then suggested I open it when I'm alone. (I'll be officially home alone from mid-April. YipPie!!).

"Enjoy your loneliness!! It's better if you get drunk when you're alone. No one will have to endure your rubbish! "

Hrm, I guess so. I shall do it!

Recuperating with Dave Matthew's Walking in Memphis

Sodden

2005-04-01T09:14:00.000+01:00

It's one of those days…when you can't wait to get home because you're tearing in public. When home comes to view, you dash to your haven, lock the door, shut the windows, draw the curtains and crawl to bed. You slowly coil yourself into the fetal position and take comfort offered by darkness. Then you press your face down on the sodden pillow, wet with your tears so no one can hear you.

Trials started today, and I know the above is exceedingly dramatic. My first paper was a practical and I came out of the lab with a distinct feeling that I had screwed it up. Yes, so what, it's just trials right, and this is just one out of the six papers for the subject. But, there was a prevailing sentiment that this was the preview of what is in store for me in the weeks to come.

The minus point about having a direction in life is that you never seem to have the means to 'take the leap'. It's like long jump, back in Form 3; I never could land with both feet although I technically knew I could, more like I wished I could.

I went to see my Chemistry lecturer today, to get some papers from him. He was surprisingly obliging, in fact, all the lecturers are. They smile more, and you get the feeling that they actually care for you and feel your pain.

"So, need anything else?"
"This is it, for now."
"Eh, wait, this…your forecast…"
"I already have it right.."
"…this is different…so what do you want…eh heh?"
I was just to blur to gauge what was happening..
"There…A…. You make sure you follow through for the real exam…I'm betting on you…will lose 5 bucks.."
"Huh? Who you betting with?"
Laughs…"Myself…heh.."

Conversations like this leave a trailing bitter aftertaste. No, it's not pressure, it's the realization that you could end up with things other than a distinction. It's just a pity, considering I need them to get me anywhere.

"You make things hard for yourself…", Aveena told me this and I couldn't rebuff her. It's true. It's the one thing I do to make my isolated life profound. It’s the way I live my life and everyone has the right to choose how to go about living the life. When you disappoint yourself, there's always a time when you just except your shortcomings and move on. I mean, who else is there but yourself? It's different though, with other people, especially if you know they are sweating blood for you.

Despite the morning's drawback, I stuck to my plan. Go to British Council and do my stuff after days of cooping myself up at home. There was a Bob Marley look-a-like strumming the guitar, singing and making a living for himself at the underground walkway connecting the LRT to KLCC. Nothing beats the sound of resonating strings and a good voice…its stark, naked,vulnerable, simple and direct. When I could have just stuck to read English, live-talk-eat-sleep in prose, feed the hopelessly romantic me, I choose to expose myself to the parasitic, harsh and unforgiving reality of life.

Recent times have made me think my prayers, dreams and everything else have fallen on deaf ears. After last year's (thankfully) brief spell of being an Unbeliever, I am not going to torture myself with that hollow emptiness again. So, when you close your eyes and think of Him, do put in a good word for me. Tell Him I wish to remain sane if all else fails. Tell Him I'm a walking-talking-laughing-breathing zombie. Tell Him I need strength. Tell him I need hope. And tell Him I need faith - in myself.

The only comforting sound now is my breathing.

Huh? What EarthQUAKE…?!

2005-03-29T08:23:00.000+01:00

Woken up by my mom, rudely, didn't I tell her that I'm not going to college tomorrow (today?)
Slowly, deciphered what she was saying.
"Pri, Pri, wake up. The alarms are ringing and people are standing out, at the lobby…go do..GO DOWN!"

Finally, something out of the ordinary to look forward to.
Rubbing my eyes with the T-shirt, with my hair out place (who bloody hell cares?), took the stairs down to the lobby. It didn't help that the blue murder screaming siren was placed right next to the door leading to the stairs.

Am down now. Eek…the guards don't look approachable. Just stand around…wait…and then find out what's happening.

After 10 minutes = crap man. Everyone is speaking Chinese…how am I to understand one gibberish!

"Tsunami….better if we are near the sea.."

HUH????!!

"YES! It was shaking…the lights was shaking…the candleholder was shacking…after a while I told my husband to stop shaking his legs…I felt dizzy also! "

Sub-consciously knew that something close to an earthquake happened…and I SLEPT through it all!

After 5 minutes…

I think I should call mommy and bro down…imagine the heap of concrete on them…..scary…

When I got to my humble unit, my mom closed the door behind me…HUH?
"Hey, we need to go down, it seems it was shaking…"
"What? Huh?…Wait…check CNN"
By then, the guards down stairs were flashing lights, obviously signaling us to come down..

My mom is an emergency sucker.
"Hey what do we need to take…?"
"Just come down Ma"
"Take the handphone"
"Yah, yah, just come down…quick.."
"Wait…need to wear bra…"
hrm…I didn't even care if my tits were showing..

We are down now, looking up at our unit…
Maybe I should have taken more than my phone and purse…my certs??
Oh screw it man…
This is embarrassing…my brother is talking too loudly, attracting attention. My mom induced him into calling relatives to ask if there was some massive earthquake…people are turning and looking at us. I should stand I little further away.

Oh man, real bore, this thing…let's message Aveena…
Aveena, the drama queen told me that other condominium settlers were being evacuated too…how joyous!

So, at about 1.30 a.m. everyone got bored and decided that screw it if the thing falls down now, we need our slumber. My brother refused to turn-off the BBC. Imagine, a 9-year-old interested in a bunch Brits repeating over and over and over again that it was an 8.2 - 8.5 Richter scale Earthquake, offshore west to Banda Aceh.

I have to finish this Physics paper…before that, wish Aveena nite nite.

Energised to Diana Ross's I'm coming out

Incoherence

2005-03-27T08:01:00.000+01:00

Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning = Shoot, too late to actually start mugging…go back to bed

Early morn = fan spinning, head whizzing, thinking of him…oh…get a grip…

Dunno how am going to pass this exam. Shit…don't know one crap thing.

It's mom's birthday today, and I haven't wished her. She's only in the next room. How can I be this childish…

It's raining, and the bed is really squishy and warm...haven't done this chapter…skip the nap…arg…
Thoughts drawn towards my pathetic life…again…him…again…

Go to bed…

The rain is ceaseless…just a few weeks ago, it was scorching hot. Weird, undulating, intermittent world we live in…

Table lamp light went out..
Angel in me says Bloody Hell
Logically Devilish me says YEAYY!!
Noticed that the fan stopped…hrm…power's out. Turns out the whole condominium complex is out of electricity..

Little bro knocks the door open…
"Pri, listen, no light right…take me to swimming…sit near the pool and study.."
Inconsiderate me say " Go to hell!"

10 minutes later…after a long stare out the window…
"Hey, Gundu (Tamil for fatty) Come, change…will take you now…

Seems like 12 year olds these days use *uck as a staple word to converse..
What was I doing 7 years ago?
Yes….wore carrot-cut jeans and oversized men's T-shirt and tried to make sense of my thickening hips…
Currently splashing water and humming and singing... "…with a fist of pure emotion, and a head of shattered dreams, got to leave all behind now.."

Jogging aimlessly …and getting wet slowly…thanks to the drizzle…rain hasn't stopped…yet..

Having dinner now…
A white man carrying an infant walks in the restaurant…
Gosh, the baby's damn cute…aw…the big round eyes and pudgy little hands…aw..
Am going to marry a white and bear little white children…can't wait..

Two planes have equations (they read you cinderella) The planes intersect…(and you hoped in would come true) Calculate the angle (and one day a prince charming will come rescue you…) Prove the identity (I can love you like that)…Maths + Music is fantastic!

Watching a dumb movie called How to Deal…
It's hilarious though…this Jack Russell was humping on a woman's leg…hahhhah..
The grandma smoked cannabis and was high the entire day with cuckoo antics….
Mandy Moore is really pretty…but she can't act…period.

Sudden affection for men with curly hair…ex. John Mayer, Tom Everett Scott…..

Zoning out to Eric Clapton's Blue Eyes Blue

My Darling, My Blood...

2005-03-13T10:24:00.000Z

A day out for 2 equally flaked out individuals.

We were so tired that we didn't even argue..not once.

To every depressing talk, we ended it with the perfect one-word-er = Life…

I conned her into watching Million Dollar Baby. Then again, she happily assumed that it was going to be like Rocky. (A very costly assumption)

Poor girl. As we were waiting to buy tickets, she was looking around, glancing at posters…and gasp…it was so evident she hasn't been reading newspapers, watching TV or doing anything synonymous to chillin'. She didn't know what Hitch was, featuring Will Smith. She was so horribly off the movie calendar that her initial plan was to watch Constantine. It's not even in the schedule!

It baffled me…a lot. It was me, the nerd-dy one. Not her. Certainly not her. And yet….Oh yah, dear-ry here was doing Form 6. And the straight out of Loon-ville stories she was telling me was testament enough that it was a miracle she was still who she is…

***

One classmate has started talking to the wall...

Another nearly went blind after contracting chicken pox. All thanks to her rooftop level of stress.

One guy mugs like shit at home so much so his mere existence in class is to bug everyone out of their skin.

It's so freaky…the teachers are asking them to chill.

***

Now, now…

Million Dollar Baby was a masterpiece. It's a wonder how Eastwood pulled it off, minus the glam and violence of boxing. He ripped it all and replaced it with the calm serenity of Freeman's narration.

If you think you're pathetic, you'll see Swank living everyday, very aware that she was trash. One shot at glory and she took it with style. It almost seemed to easy for her, knocking out opponents just one minute into the first round…maybe even less. Shortly after that, you're reminded of the bleak life she's leading - no friends and the worst part of all…you'll wonder how mothers straight from hell can be living.

It's a wonder how little things bring profound changes. And in Swanks' case, witness the early morning mist vaporising from her fairy tale success with the help of a three-legged stool.

If I go on, I am sure to spill the beans on the ending. Don't want to spoil it for ya!

****

While watching the movie, future doctors - my friend and I, were squirming away as Frankie fixes Maggie's broken nose. It's really funny thinking back, I was moving my body in the same direction he was yanking the broken nose into place. And when he inserted cotton buds into her nostrils to stop blood from sprouting out like a geyser, we ended it all by saying "Oh MY GOD!" I wonder how we are actually going to survive medicine…

P.S - The movie also fueled a sudden urge to try out Lemon Pie…

Stoned out with Joss Stone's Got a Right To Be Wrong

Washed Out

2005-03-06T10:33:00.000Z

With hypersensitive tear glands and mucous secreting cells working full force, I was literally washed out. ENOUGH was Enough. So I made a deal with myself. I promised myself a 'Time Out' first thing the next day if and only if I stayed up late and finish up work that was lagging for weeks. Anyway, who needs a cry baby, right?

So, as my ride to college sped off, instead of stepping into the cafeteria, I took a U-turn out. *gasp*. Classes weren't due until at least an hour and a half. So, there was time aplenty for me and only me….

As I sat on the swing in a nearby playground, I was aware of that most of the elderly people taking their morning walks were making horrid assumptions about me. What's an adolescent doing playing the swing, alone, early in the morning? Then again, anonymity gives you the freedom to do anything you please.

While oscillating, with the breeze lightly caressing my cheeks, life seemed just. Connection with anything outside my boundary was if anything, minute. So what if my seamless life was tearing apart. So what if I was in a stupor? So what if my life wasn't straight…and nothing…absolutely nothing made sense. Life, on a daily basis is really, down right mundane. It takes time, patience, pain and struggle to simply let things be. If I'm lucky, soon enough, the fog will clear and the Big Picture will come into focus.

I sat there, staring at my extra virginal legs - thanks to yesterday's shave, kicking the ground periodically for greater momentum. If only I had Norah Jones or Sarah McLaughlin plugged on now, everything would be perfect. There was background music though - a group of elders were doing tai chi. Their slowed motion and the soothing sound was good enough to whisk my worries away - temporarily.

My legs started aching soon enough, but distraction came to the rescue in the form of Michael Bublé's cover version of 'Dance with me'. Stay home mums were practicing their dance moves. I had to change my position to be able to watch them. Some of them got uncomfortable - I was staring too hard and smiling like the ice-cream man just stopped by. After a while, I had to suppress my impulsive desire to join them. Swaying hips and calculated steps were many times better than punching the calculator and memorizing pointless reaction mechanisms of transition metals.

I was aware that the moment I put my feet down and get up, my pretty little idyllic picture would crumble. I have to reconnect to reality, which I didn't want to do. But hey, how many times did you catch yourself doing something you don’t want do? I'm so bloody sore…oh god…HELP!

Reminiscing with Usher's U Got It Bad

Driving Maverick

2005-02-20T05:26:00.000Z

Red - Go
Yellow - Go Faster
Green - Go without looking

That's what the traffic lights mean to my Chemistry Lecturer. (Yah, of course he was joking). This came up after my proud announcement that I had jumped the red light that morning, on the way to college. It just didn't make sense - waiting. Since it's an old car, I think there must be something wrong with the shock absorbers or something - it just vibrates when stationary. No, its not stimulating, interestingly it just induces an urge to pee.

I got my 'P' driving license back in April 2004. I had cold feet I suppose, I never did like driving back then. Just go on the road and you see cars akin to speeding bullets and I didn't get the criss-crossing of changing lanes. Too many things to watch out for. Plus, I just couldn't get things coordinated, even if I could, it would just be too late. How is it that the rear view mirror and the side ones were suppose to work hand-in-hand? I had no direction and worse, no dimension. My spatial intelligence was zilch, if anything!

Then came December 2004. Mommy told me there was a possibility that I would be home alone for a couple of months, and so I had to drive my sorry self around. It's reason enough to push and shove myself to take the wheel…..

It February now, and I have broken speed limits at residential areas, jumped a red light, and ignored a quick changing yellow light…just like a typical Malaysian. It didn't occur to me that while I was getting all jaded, the authorities are in full force against errant drivers.

I'm just getting all comfortable with driving. You know, the maneuvering with one hand, coolly giving others the priority at junctions, flashing the one hand wave to guards…AND…Blasting the radio. Initially refrained myself from singing along during daytime, (don't want to be labeled as a madman). Thanks to the hands-free set, I guess it's okay to pretend you're actually conversing with someone. Then again, who needs to be self-conscious?

Blasting the radio and singing along is just plain fun. Even converted my usually silent lil' bro into a singing partner. With songs like 'You make me feel like dancing', you just HAVE dance to it. Of course it's only limited to moving the shoulders, but hey, that's good enough.

It's not all rosy though - My dad thinks my turnings are horrendous and mommy says my parking skills are nothing short of shit-ty. The only one that doesn't complain is lil' bro. Driving him to and fro from tuition is the only time he gets to rap without chiding from mother dear.

And by the by, only on Wednesday, I coax my friend into letting me cruise on her big-fat-green Mercedes. Oh, such a big thing controlled by - ME! So, it was just a straight road, and I didn't get to take any turns, but I DROVE A MERC…….AwEsOmE!

Who knows what's to come of my driving in the weeks to come…no accidents…hopefully….heh!

Dozing off with John Mayer's Daughters

Silky Soft Business

2005-02-13T14:57:00.000Z

Grooming can be a very tricky business. Too many precautions, time limits, endless reminders/directions, and the sheer amount of Time!

The last time I shaved - sometime in July 2004. Wore a wrap-around-skirt for the Prize Giving Day in my secondary school. The whole time was spent sitting all prepped-up with my right ankle rested on my left ankle and ensuring my flapping skirt was in fact wrapped round my legs, revealing no more that the skin surface I had shaved.

If you're gasping with horror why it took 7/8 months for my latest shave - Read On!

Methods of hair removal are all - point blank - weapons of medieval torture.

Shaving - with razor blades to me is like scalding a fish, just like how a fishmonger does it in your Sunday market. Its seriously isn't a pretty sight - even for a dead fish.

Waxing - Oh My GOD - NOOO! C'mmon, even removing a plaster on a wound would induce a being with the highest pain threshold to shriek out in misery. Imagine doing that on the whole length of your leg. Now, multiply that by 2. (A pair of legs, we have..)

Cream - The only thing I can handle - more like the only thing I dare to try…

8.45 p.m - Rushed to the bathroom. Closed the door and gingerly tried to sit myself down on the tiny raised platform. Ended up doing acrobatics to keep my balance. Got my pants all wet and had to remove my T-shirt and use it to wipe my legs dry. It's always better with experience. Squeezed the cream out like lacing toothpaste on a very long toothbrush. Then, smothered the cream with the applicator on the skin surface. Having done that, glanced at my wrist watch, sturdily strapped on the wrist (in the bathroom! How ridiculous!). Must only leave in on the skin for 8 minutes and no more… but that depends on the hair growth……

By then the bathroom smelled like a salon, except much more saline. See, the cream in basically very very very alkaline. Applied on the skin, it's like a weed killer. I watched my hair crinkle up - having lost sorely to the …herbicide?

The thing about shaving is the results only last for ONE, only One BLOODY HELL DAY! Life totally sucks - who knew hair grows that fast. Thus, one needs to do it frequently. Paving the ways for ingrown hair, bumpy red spots, pimples and even scars. My friend, back in school, was a notorious shaver (sounds weird). Her legs ended up being all spotty and for the very reason the shaved; she had to cover her legs because it was marred with spots.

The great thing about shaving is, you would never have realised before how smooth your skin is. The silky soft effect, enhanced by the alkaline cream makes you feel like you're the in model in the Johnson&Johnson commercial. Just like a baby….And oh yes, it's a LOT fairer…

After about 12 minutes, wiped the cream off and had to go down on my fours to remove whatever that had left my legs and decided to grace the bathroom floor. Mommy wouldn't be pleased with the slipperiness.

Only at 9.20 did I start having my bath, and had to be careful to make sure no soap was getting to my legs. Am not counting on an allergic reaction after all that effort.

That's in one shaving session. Wonder why it doesn't sound as bad as I thought it be. But, to drive my point - I am A LOT more comfortable in pants, so, who needs a shave?

Currently jamming to Alanis Morissette's Ironic

Lunar Aspirations..

2005-02-10T05:10:00.000Z

Oh, man, it's been so long, ain't it? Honestly, have been refusing to wear my thinking cap to come up with something worth mentioning for a couple of weeks. This is more of a reaction than an action and don't blame a dry well for that matter. So, what prompted this stagnancy? From experience, no one responses to depressing details of a fellow being - so - let's just skip that, shall we?

My blog - well - is the very essence of my stimulus, at least, if you read in between the lines of all my entries for the past few months.

To justify my lack of effort in blogging since the Georgian Calendar's New Year = A greater part of the year was spent in the gutter. A high price to pay for one day, just One day of complete, absolute - exaltation. All my worries have since materialised into a severe mortification of receiving any form of correspondence, although its connection to university applications if anything is vague.

My blogging sterility has in turn caused a sudden urge to read archives of fellow bloggers as well as mine. To my horror, 90 bloody hell percent of my blog is filled with disillusionment. Almost like as if I was living in an Alternate Universe - all rosy and surreal. I sounded too…zesty and *gasp* - happy.

Yup, yup, when you're down, there's no other way to go but - Up. Then again, bad luck to me is like a slow, prolonged drizzle. Trickling down initially, but picking up speed till it becomes a hailstorm.

So, if raindrops keep falling on my head, my eyes won't turn red. I'll just - Let it Be.

Current Comforting Song : Alanis Morissette's 'Learn'

p.s - on a brighter note - Junkies looking for a fresh start can always use the Chinese lunar calendar and start over. Happy NEW YEAR!

Queer stuff for the Wondering Mind

2005-01-17T10:56:00.000Z

The Past Week in a Newsflash

Farting during Sex?

Yes. People actually do. According to a more sexually liberated classmate oh mine that it. And guess what, women are more prone to it than men. If you're not queasy already, let me tell you, none of us bought it when it came up during Chemistry class. Of course, there was no way to check, considering we were all mediocre or worse, inexperienced. The only way to check was, to ask our lecturer. Instead of evading, he said,

"Oh well, it never happened to me!" and coupled it with shy smiles and a quick glance outside.

However, we concluded that if the sex was good, the copulating couple wouldn't notice the sonorous booming of air. All is well then.

Peer-Pressure rises up a Notch!

In an excited moment, a friend tugged her friend's shirt a tad to hard, revealing her shoulders, and of course, the line of strap…

Victim: Hey! What are you doing lah!
Perpetrator: Oh, hey, sorry. Got to excited….heh..
Victim: Wei, nevermine about it. I'm wearing cute straps today. (tugging her shirt discretely to reveal the pink, thin, cute straps).
Perpetrator: Oh! Hey! Cool. Me toooo…(checking underneath her shirt)
…oh shitty, I'm wearing grandma's straps today!
Victim: Pity, pity! Hahhahaha!!

Bithch-ed or Unbitch-ed?

For the first time, a profanity is seen in a different light altogether. The new look, refreshes its dimensions, and changes the mindset of a multitude of citizens.

(B)abe (I)n (T)otal (C)ontrol of (H)erself.

So, hey, it's cool to be a bitch. Just, start worrying when people call you " Un-bitch"

2 Breast Please…

2 friends walked to the humble Nasi Lemak stall, early in the morn. After placing their orders, while standing around, trying to look interested, a woman comes along.

Woman: Saya nak sotong, telur, tambah sambal, and 2 breast.
(Translation: I want the squid, eggs and extra chilli, and 2 breast.)

The female of the 2 friends, burst out laughing. Since it was a public area, she moves away to have a good roar out of it.

Her Logic: Don't tell me she wants One Breast. How bloody ridiculous.

She then moves closer towards the Male of the 2 friends, of course, expecting him to join her. Mr. Mature decides to move his thumb and his pointer, right angles to each other, forming the shape 'L' , which of course means "Loser". Female then decides that he deserves a whack and continues laughing…..

That's in a woozy week!

Of Mammary Glands

2005-01-09T02:01:00.000Z

I heard a horror story once. A girl had bound her chest with muskin tape and wore two layers of underclothes in hope of halting the growth of her budding breast to preserve her child-like proportions. Fast forward 3 years, and this same girl, told a bunch of friends "I wish I had bigger boobies to fill in that cute little thing of a dress".

See, a girl's opinion of her breast changes with time and age. If once she hunched her shoulders, bend to stoop a little to hide that shameful and painful growing things, she would one day desire to tease and play around her female figure to exercise her role as a sex object, once in while. NO, don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about being downright blasphemous and slutty. Today's modern young women's desire to be sexy is fueled by the need to establish a mature and strong self-confidence about her figure rather than the need to be sex kittens.

You can partly blame the entertainment industry for that. Watch a movie and see countless incidence of nipples, cleavages and the swellings of heavenly bosoms. It's rather shocking to note that the introduction of the sultry heroine rouses not only the males but also the young, impressionable females. If you were to listen to Oprah, you'll note the need to expose your cleavage during its 'ALL TIME HIGH'. When is it exactly? The hormonal changes that trigger food-cravings, unproportionate fat distribution, severe morning sickness coupled with oscillating mood swings also contribute to the blossoming of a woman's greatest asset. Expect it on your second tri-semester and by God, enjoy it, and if possible, heh, Expose it!

To all those binge eaters: Woe not! When you're big, EVERYTHING is Big.

To all those health freaks: When you lose weight, you're bound to lose it too. So, WOE! Since breasts are made up of fatty-fibrous tissues, my guess is the constant bobbing of it during your jogs, runs, cycles and power-walks is bound to use up the reserves from the only place you don't want to shrink.

So guys, the next time you see a cleavage, DON'T STARE. It's not there for you. It's for the Her. Female Homo sapiens are blessed with the Largest Mammary glands as compared to the other Mammals. It's so huge that its size is larger than its function requires it to be. Hurrah! Researches say that it's partly due to Selective Evolution. Our male counterparts seem to be continually affected or rather, mystified by the 'extensions' of the female body. It projects the image or idea that females with larger than necessary breasts are healthier and, well, I don't know, haven't explored the misjunctioned neuron connections of the male species.

When a girl steps on the precarious zone of being a young lady, she would persistently question the need to have breast. Of course there's the suckling of a babe, but why can't the breast just grow due to hormonal changes during pregnancy and subsequently shrink after the babe is strong enough to handle formula milk? It just seems utterly useless, the effort of growing and wearing those dumb, uncomfortable bras. Her heightened sexual awareness, sometimes only making a late appearance (often a good thing, heh), would enable her to understand that boobs are "kinda cute anyways". There are also countless instances when you hear stories of 'accidentally dropping something and then bending low to pick it up' - very useful when picking up a guy or putting yourself up a notch during interviews. You have 'Legally Blonde' to attest to that. Remember the 'Bend and Snap'?

Standing on a seesaw and judging the importance of mammary glands - I find that I like it more now than I ever had, just wished it was - hrm - bigger. Heh!

The Last 12 Hours

2005-01-07T10:24:00.000Z

1842

Removed the smudged eyeliner of my face while playing with Floppes. He's the Russ teddy bear that was suppose to be the rotten fish. He was stuffed in a box and when I opened it, his little head popped out accompanied with my happy shrieks. Once I got him out of the box, I gave him a whack on the butt, just like how newborns are whacked if they refuse to cry right after birth. Floppes has a very beady butt. My sinus diseased nose is begging for a swab. I still have the creamy after taste of blueberry cheesecake in my mouth. Glorious! Got to take the run around the block before it gets too dark for safety.

1927

The sky is bluish-purple - just like how it was in the morning. It was pointless skipping the morning run for an evening one. It's not misty at all - just dank. Makeshift tents line the roads, becoming extensions of houses about to give a New Year treat to friends and relatives. I can even smell what's cooking indoors. It's a real de-motivating factor when you're run steep hills and long flat roads. Also, saw a Matthew McConaughey look-a-like, only more pretentious. Always thought that his Texan drawl was overdone although it was perfectly natural.

2039

Off to the temple now. The temple - Always had too much to ask but nothing to offer in return. Just when I needed faith, I LOST it. Went cuckoo and couldn't control the fluctuating mood swings until after the BMAT ended it all. How I gained it back? By watching The Joy Luck Club. Don't ask me why I got my enlightenment from the idiot box. Just decided that I should see things as Half-Full instead of Half-Empty. My mom presented me with a large, yellow-dried coloured apple. Only after taking a bite did I realize that it was actually a pear. This pear, according to my mom, would grant me anything I wished for. Anything. She had the fruit blessed and the sage told her I should eat it without sharing it with anyone. Sometimes I wonder if my severely religious mother really believes everything she thinks is divine. If eating something can bring me anything I wanted, I wouldn't be working myself sick. Am old enough to know that anything I want usually demands excessive and tireless toiling. Heck! Will just eat it anyway.

2335

"So, who wished you today?" By that, my mom meant relatives. It was then that I realized my grandma wasn't in the list. She, of All people. This is not right at all. Sudden urge to listen to 'Let it Be' by the Beatles…oh BLOODY HELL! Can't wait for 0000.

1st of January 2005

0132

Nursing my second sinus attack and my indigestion. Feeling exceptionally bitter. What a Great start for the New Year. Saw the fireworks with a pair of binoculars. Found it very pretentious. Not excited at all. Tired of James Bond although its one movie teeming with double meaning lines…….am VERY CRANKY.

0235

Dozing off.

The Next 8 Hours

2005-01-06T15:23:00.000Z

31st of December 2004

0958

Was online, 20 minutes ago. Noted the flourish of information on the Tsunami Disaster that happened in our 'back yard' (or more appropriately - front yard). So many views in so many blogs. Noticed that for Americans, every catastrophic disaster is measured using the 9/11 scale. The death toll is currently a staggering 120 000 (rounded of). " That's 57 times the 9/ll". The local media surged forward by naming this disaster 26/12 - shouldn't it be 12/26 if they really wanted to duplicate the hype? Personally, approached this Mother Nature's fury with detachment - since it’s only human to disregard things that don't involve you. Had a wake up call 2 days ago when I saw a harrowing picture of a father cradling his deceased son. Woe, woe, woe…

1102

Trying desperately to look presentable. Walking around the room trying to organize the 'look' with the windows wide open. The windows are tinted, so during the day, the outside can't view the inside. This doesn't work at night. The outside gets a real good view. Being as sloppy as I am, I sometimes wonder if the window that shows me the world is playing double or not. Could that explain why there are so many guards walking around Block B instead of A (am staying in Block B)? Oh shit, miscalculated the time again and am currently rushing to get ready before I must leave home.

LUNCH

45 minutes passed, and we waited for the table to hold a party of 7. Everybody is so busy these days. There used to be a time when the 31st was nothing but a holiday. Since it was Friday, the table was divided into Vegans and Non-vegans. The Vegans were advanced, they decided what to have and when the food came wolfed it down with such ferocity.

2 of them 'suddenly' disappeared without excusing themselves - so much for planning a lunch in an Italian restaurant and pretending that for the past year since we waved secondary school good bye, we managed to be more 'cultured'. I mean common, one of us ordered risotto but ended up snowing it with chili flakes. My guess is, she just missed her Nasi Lemak. They then reappeared - with a CAKE. Seriously - was Surprised. So, opened the box to find 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUBE LIGHT'. Having a birth day was no excuse for them Not to Insult me. I had the highest order of Blur-ness now. I didn’t even know what tube light meant - proving their point!

When the singing started - they Shouted. I made it a point not to glance around the packed eatery, but enjoyed this moment while I could. What more can I ask ? - A day with friends that saw me through thick and thin. Blessed really. The part of the song that needed to be personalized with the person's name was muffled - they couldn't decide whether to say "Tube light" or "Priya".

After blowing the candles - they couldn't wait until I made a wish, I was forced into making a speech! No good in impromptu stuff. They chorused "Go to Hell" when I said, " Have a good life" in desperation. The video was basically us arguing among ourselves, like we always do. When it came to eating the cake, asking forks became a Major Flirting Opportunity. Since it was a European that waited our table, we gave each other equal encouragement to ask for it. Call it 'The White Syndrome'.

The prezzies. Shocking really. Everyone gave me something that was coupled with some kind of candy. They were chocolates and even lolly-pops. I must have been very vocal about my fascination with food. On the way to a friend's house, while huddling in the cab, they told me that one of the presents was a fish. Since we left it in her mothers car, it must have died and rotted! I honestly thought that it was so bloody cool. It was the quirkiest gift ever…..

1730

In my friends house now. We are counting back the 6 years of companionship we have had. All the gifts that I gave her over the years were displayed around her room - every year accounted for. When it came to my turn - we couldn't recall what she had given me for 2 years out of the 6. Her room is different now. Adorned with a X-Men 2 poster that I had flirted with the cinema attendant to get for her - since she was in love with Wolverine. Hugh Jackman was the decorative theme of her room now - his face was all over the place. Had a good laugh when her brother showed us his new 'mushroom' hairstyle. Have to get home soon…

First 10 hours

2004-12-31T01:22:00.000Z

2231

Just crushed a hairy teeny-weenie bug with a pen tip. There's a blot of yellow slug on the paper now… gross. The slug's equivalent to blood anyway. Am frantically pushing myself to complete these blasted notes for a month now. It's one hell of a load, and it's about kidneys. Kidneys and urine go side by side - explains why I get turned off easily. Discovered that my lecturer's handwritten notes are nothing short of crap. The task of reading through page after page of the same thing and making concise notes is simply arduous. Ugh!!! Oh, and never leave a phone to vibrate on a hollow plastic material unless you want your heart to beat against its cage. Eerie…

2336

Saw a carrot and a broccoli fight WWF style in Daddy's Day Care. Am trying to stifle my roaring laughter. Everyone at home is asleep. Seeing a bunch of kids at diaper wearing age in a line, tagging behind the guitar man is really something not of this world. Kids would have to be very bright for that, and not many are. They're adorable though. It's just far more engaging that Osmoregulation.

0044

44 minutes into the last day of the year. Am tired of Biology already. Rubbing my callused fingers and wondering what to do next. For now :

1)there are 16 lighted units in Block A of my condominium unit (out of 114)
2)I unit has their Christmas tree still intact - complete with colourful lights and displayed rightly near a window for everyone to see.
3)1 unit has lighted candles placed on the balcony's furniture. Judging by the voices, my guess is they are having a heart-to-heart-girl talk.
4)The roads and wet and glistening, thanks to the tired orange glow of the street light.
5)The guards are restless and smoking the night away, as usual.
6)My legs feel so cold…

This is going to be a long night…

0620

Couldn't resist the refuge of unconsciousness. Dozed off at 0122. All this years of planning to be wide awake at 0530 on 31st of December have fallen onto deaf ears, even if its my own. Tried and failed on my 18th year. So basically, exactly 18 years ago, I was 50 minutes old. My guess is the nurses were still haggling over me. Mom always said my birth was quick although I never had any way to check. The holiday season devoured all the doctors, and so the nurses were first on the scene when I decided to take a peek into the world. I was actually late - very late. Was due on the 28th. The doctors had C-section planned during mid day of the 31st if I still refused to show up. Given enough encouragement, I measured up, I suppose.

0708

The sky is bluish-purple, the perfect colour to paint your room with. But, it just fails miserably at creating that contrast between heaven and earth the world gasp and awes at sunrise. You have the ceaseless drizzle through the night to blame for that. It's still misty and dank-everything is just hanging in the air. It must be very cold outside. The lobby's flooring has an unsightly colour, courtesy of the rain. I can hear the flapping of the pigeon's feathers. This place is filled with really fat and slovenly ones. Pure white pigeons are not rare. As a car cruises along the road, the puddle splashes. I think I'll skip a morning jog and replace it with an evening appointment. The mist is clearing up fast - visibility is improving by the minute..

0832

Listening to my aunt singing 'happy birthday' in a squeaky voice. She claims it's actually her 1-year-old son singing. She booked me tomorrow. The job - to baby-sit Calvin while my mom and her indulged in a girls-day-out. Birthday greetings are getting quirky these days. At zero hour, had a few but the weirdest one to date is "…so you can finally get drunk & and sex." Didn't know you need a license for both vices. It's so….repressive. Still dizzy with sleepiness. Am not hungry yet although breakfast was 2 hours ago. Digestion's vaguely improving. 2 more pages of notes to do and I'm done. Currently home alone - that's license to do anything I want.

Coming soon..

2004-12-30T02:48:00.000Z

A 30-hour journal of myself, ushering the new year. Hopefully, I'll be able to saty awake, without caffeine that is.

Cross your fingers!!

Hey Jude - (y)

2004-12-21T08:39:00.000Z

So, everyone thought I got really cracked-up this time when I chose to work in the library. I can give a list of reasons, but I reckon no one would hear me out anyway. I just went about with my head held high and told myself that bar-coding books was a new and refreshing experience. A torrent rushed from a cracked dam when it hit me that I simply exchanged time with energy and was exceptionally brutal in wasting it.

As I shuffled books weighing more than my arm in and out of the shelves, manually searched for matching code numbers (the numbers were torturously huge), opening books that could be 10 years old but never saw the brighter sunlight, the air and everything revolving around me STANK! The stink emaciated me and now, I am convinced I’m bullshitting myself. Hey, the numbers now all look alike.

If the musty-good-for-nothing-over-100-years-old-material law journals were not enough, a librarian called Judy with a braided pony-tail and a funny smelling hair-oil took me under her wing. Boy, did she cling! On the first day of the job – hey, that’s fine, but when she started telling me the sequence of numbers were ascending or descending, I had enough. Decided then to avoid eye-contact, mostly to control my blinking anger. “Damn it Lady, I AM COMPETENT !”

Took myself for a ‘letting-my-hair-down’ session by walking to Atria (the nearby shopping mall). Also needed solitude – if I wasn’t lonesome enough! The joke here is, I didn’t have to sign out and I did mention I was going to take awhile. I was getting paid by the hour and Judy – the mother hen was helping! HA!

I’m neurotic and anyone can attest to that. The only thing that was really enticing in that gloomy place was the PayLess Bookstore. I got 3 books for RM 15 with Oprah’s Book Club logo on them – assurance that every penny spent was worth it – I really hope so. Since I had been craving for Kaya Balls for sometime now, I indulged myself with those little golden things with heavenly innards. I actually walked around aimlessly for 20 minutes to wait for it to cook. Shopped a little with the pretence of getting a belated birth day present but ended up buying something for myself.

By the time I got back, the air conditioner was comforting and Judy set a date with me for the next day. How can I say no..??!!

Things got a tad worse when she divulged the internal politics of the library complementing it with all the conflicts and power struggles, spiced up with tales of racism and noble human tolerance. How dear Judy braced herself while everyone else was doing things wrong. Told myself that I was not going to get involved. Next year, when I come back as a student, that is all I am going to be.

The type of politics that existed in that place was akin to that which I experienced in secondary school. Believe me, it stinks with plots, back-stabbing details, the culmination of which is worse that the mite-eaten, musty books. So, I stuffed my nose, and ears, as I walked with Judy leading the way and sat with her for a decent meal. After that she raced to a dingy looking bookstore only to buy a B-rated novel (judging by the cover).

On the way back, while clutching my Cincau and wondering what the heck I was doing with Judy, she said, “Let’s use a short-cut”. Well, don’t know if it was one, but it was a LOT quieter. Just like the atmosphere, we threaded on a more personal chit-chat. She talked so much that I decided to blurt it out, “Are you married, Judy?”. Now, I knew the answer. She was a spinster to the core that collected cook books and lived with her mom that refused to let her keep a dog, nevertheless, I asked her anyway.
“No, why? I look married is it?”. I just shrugged and decided to humour her.

Judy told me she didn’t want to be tied down and even added a true life story of a man being happier as a bachelor. Just then I thought it’s nice to be in control, but on the expense of living a routine and mundane life and clearly showing it? I’m not far away from ending up like that. Worse, I would be a spinster only to be eaten by Alsatians at the backyard – just like Bridget Jones before she bumped into Mark...

10 days ?!.....Bullshit!

2004-12-17T06:46:00.000Z

Monologue:

It’s been 6 months plus plus and counting. Surely, it’s near impossible to get hitched in 10 freaking days! But what if I start the whole enterprise with the pretence of losing the guy in 10 days? Really, Hudson was so successful playing along this strategy – “How to lose a guy in 10 days…”. So why not me?

Dream on….How can I lose something when I haven’t got it in the first place. Bloody good question I would say. Just…. I can’t help but lament, why, why Why is it a near impossibility for me to get something close to a companion?

Okay, so I am going to sit myself down and really examine this muddle.

First of, the problem isn’t out there, but in retrospect – in HERE.

Rule #1: Don’t cling.

Sounds simple enough, but easier said than done. I mean, Who the hell doesn’t get excited? Yes, you got it – NO messages, no SMSs, no phone calls and no ‘coincidences’. I guess it’s good to remember that it takes 2 to tango. I remember following this Rule like a mantra. There was this time that I drove myself sick and decided to sleep on it when at the 11th hour, he sends a SMS. OH MY God! Considering it was me who always started the “SMS conversations…”

Rule #2: TLC

Tricky, tricky, tricky and give it time, this can get very boring. However, to expect tender love and care, one has to give it – generously. Some people just can’t sing and you have to admit it even if it’s your crush. The experience can be alleviated if you know the words too, but if you don’t – just drown yourself in the awkwardness of the moment akin to being sung a lullaby.

Rule #3: Pretend

Don’t know whether it’s better to follow this one religiously or simply throw it out of the window. It’s horrendous to sit through something when you don’t give 2 shoots about whether its and air or ice ball. Then there is the torturous time when you miss him like crazy but Mr. Handsome has a “guy’s night out” to attend instead. So, it all comes down to pretending by saying “Ok then honey, see you later” or simply showing how you really feel. Either way, someone is bound to be unhappy. The first situation is a “win-lose” one while the second one is downright “lose-lose”.

‘Tension of Opposites’ – that’s what love/crush is. At the end of the day, both parties will be flaked out after a vigorous tug-of-war competition…

Still haven’t solved my problem. Well, at least its 6 months and STILL counting..

11's not quite enough...

2004-12-11T14:17:00.000Z

So they made it 12. Not complaining though. No!

The addition was top-class. A futuristic butt-kicking, high flying carrier woman with a broken heart. Playing a Europol agent was peanuts for our gorgeous Zeta-Jones. Sleek outfits with executive colours ranging from red to black to white. Short shoulder length, sharp edged hairdo with ample chest. She lit up the whole movie, otherwise a plain one with too many cats in the bag.

The original cast got a fresh look, some to disastrous consequences. Pitt was hot 3 movie years ago. His makeover made him look like a pimp, donning a glaring light blue suit in the beginning of the movie itself. What a waste!

Clooney was, ah, so, ah,…..Clooney.. Looking 50 plus neck upwards is quite undesirable. The market for mature, deep-voiced gentlemen however has sky-rocketed, so don’t you worry yourself sick, Old Boy!

Then, the young-ones grew up a little, or maybe not quite. This serves as the usual ‘complications’ to spice up the movie. Damon screws things up a little in the beginning by implying that the 12-year-old niece of the job-broker is a whore. Opps! Mortally terrified of committing crimes deemed wrong morally, mommy’s boy gets the whole leadership thing ¾ through the movie. Expect some hilarious scenes – thanks to him.

Cast aside, this is what’s in and what’s not – Ocean 12’s style.

1.French is in and so is Europe.
-The suave bad-boy dances his way through the heist.

-Flat-bottomed, bored, rich and exceptionally brilliant – watch him do a job minus high-tech gizmos.

-Europe lends its culture to and otherwise capitalistic, bland American thievery.

2.Sexy secretaries always mindful of their employers’ welfare is so cliché.

3.The credits recognises a fictional character playin a non-fictional character –logic?

-Julia Roberts who is acting as Tess Ocean acts as Julia Roberts. This just leaves a bitter aftertaste to this originally intended to be sweet movie.

4.Mother’s have vacated their rather deeming roles to fill an opening at least a level higher than their previous jobs.

-The thought that it was a mother that finally whisks away the robbers from the slammer is uplifting. No more stay-in mums that only changes diapers!

This movie didn’t quite life up to its expectation. It’s just a holiday treat I suppose. Great guys and beautiful girls should make out for the obvious lack of substance.

Indolence - Tis' the Season

2004-12-08T13:10:00.000Z

There’s something insidious and subversive at the End of each year. Everything slows…comes to a halt – all false misconceptions. Vastness of space and ambience of tranquillity greets you with a straight face. There is nothing to do (on the surface) but to accept its kind benevolence, only to be flayed and knifed - come next year. We view the entire backlog and remain optimistic – there is always Time. Come next year, and I will accelerate.

With experience, we know we cannot afford a moment of Procrastination – we do it nonetheless. Blame it all on the Falsehood of the season – The End of the Year. Thought to be a time for recuperation, we soothe the nerve, relax the muscle, immobilise the joints, fill the belly, and consume Idleness with delight. Come next year – we cannot even hold our foot on the accelerating pedal.

Irony, irony. When I was younger, a full 3 months would come and go before I add 1 to update the year when writing the date for school work, perhaps a week will pass before the straight, rigid, uncompassionate contour of the pencil warms up to me…

It so tempting to believe that there is a margin separating now and the next, but it’s a creation, at best. Fluidity of the days passing, discriminating none from now and the next, excruciating continuum.

The End of the Year, the season of bafflement and indulgences. The season to hibernate only to be quickly, rashly jerked into action – come Next year. But, while it lasts, I shall reap the joys of Indolence.

Ass + U + Me

2004-12-06T13:16:00.000Z

First witnessed and endured the insensitivity and the starkness of red tape as I stepped into secondary school. At that moment, it seemed like the ‘natural flow’ to join the prefectorial board and bully everybody into immaterial straight lines, two-by-two. Fast forward 5 years, and can saw with absolutism that I regret wearing that puerile maroon vest and purple tie that made everyone in the board look like complete morons! If I could wind back the clock, don’t think I would change one speck though.

There were millions of absurdities attached to the board. Today, however, I am resolutely going to make ‘The Rules of Thumb’ the laughing stock.

We were told, during the orientation week itself that it was going to be hellish – dozens of paper work, sheets after sheets of things to read and memorized, a battalion of seniors to suck up to…the list goes on and on and on.

So, we were told, “We prefects live up to these of rules. It’s the most basic thing we have to know, and if you don’t know this during Q & A (question and answer session after weekly meeting) you’re a roast duck!”

I don’t remember quite well, mayhap there were 9 or maybe 10 clauses to this. But, only one mattered the most. After talking to a fellow ‘maroon monster’ over lunch a couple of days ago, found out that this one dumb rule of Rule Number 5. Initially what fascinated me was the fact that it was exquisitely original, with just the right hint of vulgarity and simplicity. I remember saying it over and over, just because it had a nice twang with it.
So, basically, I was baffled when I found the real version of it – in a paper back fiction!

“Aha, hold it. You assumed. You assumed” Crawford wrote assume on a legal pad and began to underline. “If you assume when I send you on a job, Starling, you can make an ass of u and me both”.

Basically, rule #5 was a modified replica, and it lost its lustre instantaneously when the source discovered.
“Never assume. When you assume you make and ass of you and me”

The catch is, I’m reading ‘Silence of the Lambs’ by Thomas Harris. That’s the book that revealed the truth about all this mumbo-jumbo crap our seniors fed us. How intriguingly morbid…

Godspeed

2004-12-02T05:46:00.000Z

-Eh, you're still here? What exam did you have?
-[ gulped my last sip of water ] Oh no, was in the library, studying a bit.
[giggles]
-[laughs] I'm going to miss that laugh.

I don't think that that was the last of her, my Biology lecturer. Maybe once or twice more before I bid au revoir.

It was rather expected but it was till unexpected. She left the all all gaping unanimously at her announcement. Just having completed her doctorate, it is only sensible for her to graze in greener pasture,expand her horizon and embrace greatness.

-How can she simply leave us like that...?
-We're gonna be lost next year...
-Can't she stay, just for 2 more months, complete the syllabus, then leave...?
-Don't think so.

She was the strictest of them all, but also, the one most closest to us. She even created an 'imaginary girlfriend' for a classmate and went as far a to excuse him whenever he disrupted the class with sonorous noises of imagined love-making and domestic brawls.

Needless to say, we were all happy when she told us she will be taking 2 weeks leave. She had an oral examination in UK. 2 weeks of bliss. 2 weeks of not being serious with the most information-laden subject.

-oh, how sweet! She's not here!!! NO BIO!!!
-Wei, show some respect, she's the teacher...

That shut me up and clouded my mind for so long till one day, while having shower, I realized that my joy was not substantiated by her absence but by the fact that we would not be having classes because of her absence.

Instead of 2 weeks, the bleak future holds possible an eternity of her absence. There are many things in life that I'm not sure of, but, I know one thing for sure - We are going to miss her, dearly.

Ice Cream

2004-12-01T06:37:00.000Z

Exams has been all rotten and sour for 3 days running. That is of 3/4 days. Today, I have to give in to dejection. It's really expected anyway.

Picture this :

5 hours to Maths and I was piqued about the fact that the library had a collection of Rolling Stones. Yes, its out-dated, by 14 years. But, hey, didn't care, sort of an 80's person..

The first page revealed a youthful and robust Tom Cruise. The movie Born on the Fourth July was brand new and so was he.

Startled my friends with my frank remarks.

- I'm going to rub ice-cream all over him and then Lick-It-All-Up!

They wore horrified expressions.

Then realized the 'brutality' of my fantasies. Burst out then in exasperation.

- Don't you people have fantasies?!

Different strokes for different folks..... They diverted it all by asking me what flavour would be my preference.

-Vanilla

So, 6 hours and 45 minutes later.

-Hey, smile lar...

I just gave a 'weird-lar-you-don't-know-what-you're-freaking-about' shrug.

So I shrugged and am currently wondering why some just have it easy in life while some others don't. Then, lamented, like I usually do, with full force. Revoking old failures and flops, then comparing myself with relatively gifted and born with a silver spoon stuck in their arses!

1 more day to kill....1 more and perhaps, I will be dead.

When Seeking Solace...

2004-11-10T05:08:00.000Z

DO NOT come to me. I’m utterly pathetic. Perhaps, I’m too practical to be useful.

-Oh common HD, there are so many fishes in the sea...
-There’s only one for me. I only want that one.
-One of the first things we learn about men are their ‘big, fat, unplaced egos’ and we try so hard to avoid it only to find ourselves falling prey to them over and over and over,,,… What’s the damn point?! Now that he’s proven to be nothing but a punch-drunk-egotistical-fool, just tell him to f*** off lar!
-Oh, you just don’t get it, you just don’t…

Okay, right, I’m hopeless with words…so I used songs, to no avail.

-You know, I don’t mean to play the fool, but I think what you’re going through now has a lot of to do with that song..

She can’t say I’m stupid, so she just smiles, saying in one expression what would take many, many words…”Go back to the CRIB !”

To make matters worse, there’s me, trying, again, to seem brilliant by using metaphorical ideas to get the message across.

After receiving a greeting card from one of her many admirers…

-See, I told you there are so many invisible lines surrounding you, just waiting for your ‘inspection’.
-I only want ONE line!
-Hey…..but a line consist of many people….
-Maybe it’s smarter to say ‘I only want a DOT’...
-Ya lar…

Unable to choose her words, she flashed a smile, again, indicating she was ‘so-not-convinced’

-HD! Take a pencil and trace a line from that bloody dot!

Metaphorical jargon doesn’t help as it somehow suggests one needs divine help to move on. That’s why you might find me saying...

-Would you like to have some of my tea?
OR
-You should really have something to eat...
OR
-Man, chocolate would be perfect for this moment...

I can’t blame anyone if they deduce I’m not taking what their saying seriously. I sound bloody retarded anyway. What am I suppose to do? It’s so hard to gauge the situation. I know I’m a good patter, but what if they don’t want a pat on the back?

Goodness! All in all, poor, poor HD. Can’t blame her either. What can we, the fairer sex do, if we keep bumping into incorrigibly useless, spastically slow, brutally self-centered, decidedly dim-witted, insatiably satyric, gluttonous boars, perennially perfidious and oh yes, purposely unhygienic MEN. (Seen one with dirty fingernails every-god-forsaken-day!)

Certainly, it is hardly surprising if we decide, at a very young age to simply have multiple sexual partners and shun perpetual bondage with a member of the male species. They are simply a waste of resources. Period.

Rather than falling ‘blindly’ in love, spawning for the sake of passing on ‘mutated-good-for-nothing’ genes, cooking, cleaning and living under the sole of his feet, perhaps it is better to stretch your arms in bed only to cuddle a bolster instead of a living, breathing, warm masculine body…

Right? Right. Period.

Back to subject matter = oh god, I bloody hell DON’T KNOW! Period!

p.s : Fully realize the potentially volcanic and disastrous outcome of this post. Suggest drinking water and ventilating the lungs with gulps of air prior to writing a comment, especially if you happen to be a male. Am still open for comments, but silence on my part DOES NOT mean mutual understanding.

Curiosity Kills a Cat

2004-11-04T05:04:00.000Z

Carrying out experiments can be exceptionally fun. Where else can you find colours changing, bubbles forming, water hissing, rotten egg and even perfumery smells? A feast of the senses!

On a lighter note, most of us would agree that more often than not, once the work is done, the fun starts. After completing our task, with all the camouflaging, poisonous chemicals in front of us, it would certainly be politically incorrect to just pour liquids in the sink and throw the solids in the bin. Anyone and everyone will simply mix the ingredients of various test tubes to see if they can create a different hue, smell or even to have a shot at winning a Nobel Prize.

My personal experience in the filed of experimental endeavours was more of a lesson than a discovery….

Year : 2000

Form : 2 Fasih

Time : 3.00 – 5.00 pm (no clear idea)

Subject : Science

Topic : Chemical Test for Food Substances

Task : 1) Mix all the ingredients from all the different test tubes into a boiling tube.
2) Stop the boiling tube with a bung.
3) Shake till you drop.

By then I had a crowd of equally if not more curious friends who wanted to see the outcome of my ‘concoction’. Curiosity kills a cat, but it was me who ended up with its carcass. I opened the bug to release a unanimous ‘gasp’ and ‘white-brick-red-blue-Benedict-albumin-yellow iodine-blue-starch spray. It spurted all over me and provided a splendid colour contrast to my maroon vest and black hair.

The next half and hour was spent cleaning my uniform with damp Kleenex (courtesy of empathic-happy-for-you-with-all-the-mess friends)

4 years later, while reading the alcohol section of Organic Chemistry; a lecturer of Temasik Juniour College, Singapore, provided few words of wisdom…

“While alcohol is used in beer, wine, etc. , methanol is highly toxic. Consumption leads to blindness and death. Industrial ethanol is spiked with methanol to make it unsuitable for drinking. So should anyone steal ethanol from the lab to get high, he will be justly punished.”

Someone should have warned me about being over-zealous with my food test….

Whispers of Appreciation

2004-10-29T10:17:00.000+01:00

To commemorate the ‘One-Week-Anniversary’ of my sad attempt to subterfuge Cambridge, I have written a personalized blog-ticle to those that in one way or another supported me through it. So scroll down to see if you made the cut!

Dearest…

Aveena :
Sorry dear, kicked my arse instead of his. Made a complete fool of myself. Instead of being ‘all-intelligent’ ended up feeling all prim and proper. But, all is well, life shall go on. Had tremendous fun during our ‘two-hour’ talk over the phone. I’m most probably the only one to actually reap the rewards of your upgraded philosophy – “Everybody needs to bitch about somebody every day sometimes”….

Padmini :
Touched by your immense faith in me and the Lord. You were certainly the only one that included me in her prayers. It calmed me, in ways I can’t quite account for. Blessed to know someone like you – muaks!!

Alyssa :
Hrmmm, yah. You’re lucky I didn’t show up on Friday. Would have been the cause of an epidemic – ‘The Eardrum Popping Voice’. Mine is still intact though. It had to single-handedly listen to my melodious voice, just to calm my fatigued nerves. Notice the ‘unity’ of my sensory faculties?

Deena :
Your hug was hesitant at first. But, from cheek-to-cheek, it was the warmest hug I ever had. Thanks a bunch!

Luke :

My compatriot in distress…

Luke-y the Looney,
The tables are turned perhaps. It’s you who has to fork up a meal at TGI Friday’s [pause] Thanks! Thinking back, I must have looked like a poor-lost-pup, for you offered a hug, which I regrettably declined (partly because daddy was lurking around the corner =) ) . You were unreasonably quick to realize my tease-able nature and exploited it mercilessly, to the extent of shifting my focus. Thank heavens it lasted only a moment ( was that your strategy by the way? ). “Information is the Key to Power”. No wonder you didn’t hunt me down to ask about my Mock Interview. You did all your homework, even as far as knowing my performance in it, direct from its source..[despicable, despicable ]. Heard of privacy, Luke? You are quite expensive, as evident in your blog. You raised your demands. There’s a remote possibility I’ll comply to them ( don’t avoid the fact you are hoping you’ll never get your starbucks coffee). As to whether Sebastian from ‘Little Mermaid’ is a crab or a lobster or even a prawn, I don’t give 2 cents!

But, to sum it all of:
1)Yes, we should have coffee together sometime.
2)Agree that Capricornians are very competitive in nature and make their allies their nemesis, in the end, having the whole jumble in a heap of confusion.
3)DO NOT agree that if you were Zijian, you would give me a hug…simply because…..oh…..incapable .....oh gosh!....to simply put it…..Unlikely.
4)You better start saving for an extravagant meal for me.
5)I’m proud and will brazenly attest to my ‘dirty-mindedness’.
6)No, did not have an entirely joyous time in the interview room.
7)Yes, you bug me more than I bug you, despite many attempts (very ashamed of this failure)
8)Yes, would very much like to install you as my punching bag – to vent out Anger.
9)Thank you for the …positive energy on my Big Day. It helped!

Ms. Kana:
Apart from being the weirdest student in class, you’re not the only one who is wondering why Cambridge invited me for an interview. Your plans to send them a picture of me standing on a chair placed strategically at KDU’s entrance as a result of me forgetting my notes will not be necessary. I guess it’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’. Thank you for the support and trust.

Mr. Warren:
Yes, conducted a FBI search. The result of which revealed a stocky, gruff looking middle age man. It helped – at least I knew who I was going to act ‘all-intelligent’ to. Other than that, I proved to be a total bimbo…oh..how wasted.

Mr. Andrew :
Taking a shot isn’t the problem. My gun is brand new. It hasn’t even gone through the quality check yet. Worse, the factory wasn’t ‘zero-defect’ certified. Missed the bulls eye. Argggg!!

Zijian:
A curt ‘No’ at 6.30 a.m is quite an unpleasant way to begin a new day, an important one at that, don’t you think so? Nevertheless, I think I would do better in a masquerade than ‘regurgitating’ in the library. Thanks for the pat on the back!

Aleeysa, Amrit, Angie, Amir :
All those ‘Complete Me’ from Jerry Maguire, didn’t really help. But what matters most is your apparent concern and pity for a demented soul. Thanks you guys. Muaks.

IF in any case, I forgot to mention others, please accept my apologies. I have problems in remembering things…